INFDL

Newspapers are Doomed

2009-02-26T14:10:00.001-07:00

As a conservative my instinct is to gloat about the unfolding destruction of the newspaper industry. They’ve been spouting the Democratic Party line for a long time now, and I kind of like to see them take a boot to the teeth. At the same time, I love newspapers, and I don’t want them to see them go. The Rocky Mountain News will die on Friday, and the San Francisco Chronicle looks like it may be breathing its last as well. This is sad. There’s got to be a way to make the newspaper business work.

More on Computer Game Evil

2009-02-26T13:51:00.002-07:00

The talking heads at the Onion argue about whether violent videogames are adequately preparing our children for a violent zombie-infested post apocalyptic world.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

Also from the Onion, if you are a fan of the Utah Jazz, this is too true to be funny.

Technology Is Murdering our Children!

2009-02-24T16:13:00.003-07:00

Hello? Anybody here? I’ve been gone for a while, but I thought I’d check in with a report on the computers-and-videogames-are-making-us-stupid crowd. The latest fear monger is a neuroscientist named Susan Greenfield. Here’s what the Mail has to say about her worries.

She argued that exposure to computer games, instant messaging, chat rooms and social networking sites could leave a generation with poor attention spans.

I can’t see how instant messaging and chat rooms shorten an attention span any more than sitting around talking with people, and, if anything, computer games help increase attention spans. My seven year old will spend hours at a time trying to beat the evil forces of the Covenant. He works through frustrations, he thinks of new strategies to overcome problems, and he challenges himself with increasing levels of difficulty. How could any of that be bad for his mind?

“I often wonder whether real conversation in real time may eventually give way to these sanitized and easier screen dialogues, in much the same way as killing, skinning and butchering an animal to eat has been replaced by the convenience of packages of meat on the supermarket shelf” she said.

So, wait, is she arguing in favor of screen dialogues here? Because it seems pretty clear to me that simply buying a steak at the store is a hell of a lot better than butchering your own cow.

Lady Greenfield told the Lords a teacher of 30 years had told her that she had noticed a sharp decline in the ability of her pupils to understand others.

Why do I suspect that this teacher simply no longer understands her pupils?"

It is hard to see how living this way on a daily basis will not result in
brains, or rather minds, different from those of previous generations,” she said.

Ah, but different can be better as easily as it can be worse. As Steven Johnson has pointed out in his book “Everything Bad is Good for You”, average I.Q.s have been going up for a long time, and new technology may be responsible for this.

She pointed out that autistic people, who usually find it hard to communicate, were particularly comfortable using computers. “Of course, we do not know whether the current increase in autism is due to more increased awareness and diagnosis of autism or whether it can –if there is a true increase – be in any way lined to an increase in prevelance among people of spending time in screen relationships. Surely it is a point worth considering.”

No, it is not a point worth considering. Autism begins to manifest itself in children when they are around three years old, long before any of them ever log onto Facebook or play Mariokart for the first time. The Baroness’ previous arguments were poor, but here she ascends to Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Educational psychologist Jane Healy believes children should be kept away from computer games until they are seven. Most games trigger only the ‘fight or flight’ region of the brain, rather than the vital areas responsible for reasoning.

Of course, because if my child weren’t playing a videogame, he’d be sitting around “reasoning”.

What crap these people come up with.

Here’s why I have allowed, nay, encouraged, my boy to play videogames since he was five years old:

1) He likes playing videogames.
2) Videogames are father and son time. A bond is created between father and son when they battle side by side against the Nazis hordes or evil alien invaders. And it is a proud moment in any father’s life when they are playing Slayer on Halo against each other and the son blows his father up with a sticky grenade to win his first match. Excuse me, I have to wipe the tears from my eyes.
3) Videogames help my son get comfortable with technology while having fun with it.
4) As I mentioned above,he has learned to set goals (“I’m going to win this game”) and to overcome difficulties (“How the crap are you supposed to kill that brute with the hammer?”). Videogames have been nothing but good when it comes to his attention span.

Unicorns

2008-11-08T22:16:00.002-07:00

Hey, Obama, where's my Unicorn? You promised me a fucking Unicorn.

President Elect Obama

2008-11-08T22:05:00.003-07:00

The importance of his election cannot be overstated on a cultural level. Our country has some nasty boogie men in the closet for sure. We do, however, tend to do the right thing. Perhaps this event will help our confused, dizzy lefty-buddies come to that realization. However, that doesn't stop me from thinking he is an overflowing douche nozzle. Listen, there are two possibilities here:

1) He pulled a stealthy one on all of the faux revolutionaries and leftist hangers-on that form the inner sanctum of the Chicago scene, and he is really a centrist.

2) He pulled a stealthy one on all of the malleable and Utopian pantywaists that form the young electorate nowadays, and he is really a faux revolutionary and a leftist hanger-on.

I think the latter is more probable. We shall see soon.

Karl adds: Best case scenario, imho, is that he ends up being another Jimmy Carter (a conventional liberal president and a shitty administrator without a whole lot of backbone). Bill Clinton was pretty liberal when he came in with both houses in a democrat majority, but moved toward the center when, imho, he realized what the practicalities of governing were; plus the repub takeover in '94 helped. But I have no idea how Obama would react to similar strong repub showing in 2010, he ain't Bill.

God no

2008-11-08T22:04:00.002-07:00

Barf me with a dick.

Karl: Gag! I appreciate the message, and hope the same sentiment is more pervasive nationally than I believe it is, but there is more syrup in those messages than in all the love letters that those douchey english dandies wrote to chicks in Wuthering Heights and all that other Jane Austen shit!

Obama and Shit

2008-11-08T22:01:00.001-07:00

Wow. I feel like a major burden has been lifted from the shoulder of my homeland. Not.

This should be the major election bitchslap, we'll see...

2008-09-30T08:13:00.005-06:00

This shit is all over the internet right now but its presence is required on INFDL for religious reasons, er, ideological, er, ok, partisan reasons. Really though, here is definitely one case where I can be proud of Republicans and of my tendency to vote for them. True fiscal conservatives are what the Republican party seems to have lost lately. But these Republicans here on the House Financial Services Committee seem to represent well the fiscal conservative spirit that should be manifest in all Republicans, since that has historically been the unifying theme in this party. And how there are even people like Joe Lieberman still left in the Democratic party I have no idea!

Ever wonder what happened to the dinosaurs?

2008-09-18T16:47:00.004-06:00

Turns out that the universe that hosts our short visit here is a very violent place, and no amount of money in the bank can change that fact. One interesting thing about this is that if massive meteor impacts that end all life such as these happened at least 65 million years ago (known as the "K-T extinction event"), then how long has our species supposedly been evolving? How long did it take for the salamander-to-human conversion process to occur, if the multi-billion year ranges that evolutionists cite to explain this mystery is not a possibility? I have many problems with evolutionary theory, not with micro-evolution which is actually provable, but with the speculative nature of species-wide macro evolution.

Slow posting to continue...

2008-05-28T10:58:00.005-06:00

On account of Jess heading to Cedar City for a Master's in Forensic Psychology in August (scholarship- woo hoo! Way to go, Jess!), my dropping a ring on her finger, her saying yes, the loss of her associated stream of income and our cats, Charles Mingus and Ella Fitzgerald, converting to nasty strain of Feline-Wahhabi Islam, well, my plate is full. I apologize in advance for the advancing rigor mortis of INFDL, but it will creep along like it always has, albeit at a new, even slower pace.

Sordid Utah - Naked Crazy Lady Edition

2008-05-28T10:43:00.004-06:00

Gotta love Sandy. From the Salt Lake Tribune:

A woman was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault Tuesday morning after
she allegedly attacked the two passengers of the car she slammed into - all
while naked. The 38-year-old Sandy woman, who has a long history of mental
illness, was driving near 7600 S. 460 East at about 7 a.m. when she
intentionally hit a Bronco being driven on the wrong side of the road by a man
who was looking for his cat, said Sandy Police Sgt. Victor Quezada. After
everyone got out of their vehicles, the woman began pushing, hitting and kicking
the two men in the Bronco, police said. The woman got into the vehicle she hit
and attempted to drive off. When it wouldn't go, she got out and retrieved her
car keys and began walking. She followed a 14-year-old girl who was walking out
of a nearby house, until a bystander told the teen to get back inside, police
said. The woman pounded and kicked opened the door of the house, police said.
There was no relation between the woman and the people living in the house.
Police arrived, but said the woman accused them of being fake officers and
resisted arrest. They quickly took her into custody. Authorities admitted her
into Alta View Hospital and later to the University of Utah Hospital where she
is being evaluated. The two men in the other vehicle suffered only minor
scrapes. Police arrested the woman on suspicion of aggravated assault, leaving
the scene of an accident, trespassing and lewdness.

Sandy. The land of Zany Nekkid Ladies and Meth.

Yep, the world hates America, especially Europe...

2008-05-02T18:29:00.010-06:00

...Hmmm, that must be why the people of Germany, France, and most recently Italy have elected leaders who ran, RAN, on a pro-American agenda as part of their campaign platforms. Well, you can never really tell with those fickle and silly Italians with all their wine and fine lovemaking and esquisite dishes to think about all the time, because they did oust Berlusconi at a time when it wasn't fashionable (in the truest sense, as is everything when it comes to that silly, silly people) to have a pro-American leader, before they put him back in control a couple weeks ago. Now England is following the same trend, in an election where conservatives delivered the worst beating to leftists in 40 years, and where, most appropriately, the anti-American intergalactic asshole mayor of London gets his shit kicked by Gary fucking Busey of the Tory Party. Hope he starts a family political dynasty, then we'll get to see more of Jake Busey in the future.

Sean: Dude. That guy looks just like Busey. I wonder if he just wants a little kiss from Johnny Depp. Well, Euros aren't completely stupid. For all the base anti-US preening, they know deep down what's up in their neck of the woods. They see it every day. I mean does Belgium even exist anymore? Barely.

Uranium- the New Blow

2008-03-27T17:03:00.002-06:00

Geez. I had no idea you could snort that shit. Well, we know what I'll be doing this weekend...Was that chills that just went up my spine or is that just a side effect of me nose-vacuuming a Z of yellowcake off some shiny titties?

Rumor of war

2008-03-26T15:46:00.020-06:00

Hopefully this will finally conclude the far overdone saga of He who looks like Cartman (nod to Natureboy for the title of the saga). By all accounts this is a different Iraq, and I get the feeling that Monsignor Orangutan-teeth is gonna get whacked, fast, either by our boys or, most likely, by Iraqis themselves, as people are probably tired of his bullshit by now.
Was watching a program about American Marines based in the formerly deadly, and now pacified, areas of Iraq; peaceful areas where they complained that they couldn't "be Marines" in. They talked of their need to be in Afghanistan now that they've done their job in Iraq. Maybe now they'll get their wish and "get some" with He who looks like Cartman to alleviate the blue balls that have set in in peaceful Anbar.

Sean: Sweet. Kill that fat fucker and do it YESTERDAY!

One of the greatest additions to the internet since youtube

2008-03-25T21:28:00.008-06:00

Trey and Matt have created a free website providing every episode of South Park in high quality streaming video, as well as clips from all of the episodes for emailing and embedding. Here's a good one from the episode "Smug Alert".

Sean: Sweet. Vid quality is actually good. I'm beginning to hate Youtube because of that. Full disclosure: I sometimes sniff my own farts when I'm feeling righteous too.

Tom: yeah I'm beginning to hate Youtube as well. Quality mostly sucks and they're now censoring--banning way too much stuff for PC and seemingly other political reasons. Thanks, Youtube, for making it your duty to protect us.

Grim Milestone of Grim Milestones

2008-03-25T11:14:00.005-06:00

(AP 2008, Scipio). Five years and almost 20,000 Grim Milestones after the invasion of Iraq by George Bush, Halliburton and some destitute black teenagers from the inner city with no other opportunities, Americans are marking the Grim Anniversary by holding Grim Milestones of their own across the country.

The Associated Press caught up with a vibrant and colorful flock of Hippies, known properly as a "protest", marking the Grim Milestone in the bustling metropolis of Scipio, Utah.

Luna Moonpants, a local peace envisionist, when questioned about the purpose of the event replied, "What with all of the Grim Milestones going on, it only seemed appropriate to bring to the attention of all Amerikkkans this approaching Milestone of such Grimness. That and the weed. It's bomber wicked...Cough."

Much of the same somber tone of remembrance could be found among the other attendees. Stinky McGee, a local juggling stick artisan, echoed the poignant sentiment so prominently on display, stating, "Where's Phish? I heard that Phish was gonna be here! Wooo Hooo!", he said, pausing only to vomit a little between the "Woo" and the "Hoo".

Later today, in the apex of events here in Scipio, a mass "Head-Tilt of Compassion" will mark the exact moment of of the 20,000th Grim Milestone, signifying the sadness and sorrow of this group of solemn Americans, who prefer to be called by the more compassionate sounding "Earthicans".

With a Grimness bought only with years of Iree bong-rips, the Grim Milestone of Grim Milestones, now 20,000 and counting, marches on, lock-step with the horribly unsyncopated drum-circles and whirly dance stylings witnessed here today. Oh, and Abu Ghraib.

Happy... Er, Pagan-Christian Day!

2008-03-23T18:59:00.002-06:00

Got this from Ace. Thought it was gooood:

Happy Easter!

Attacked by Plastic

2008-03-17T10:33:00.005-06:00

Is anybody else absolutely mortified by the current trend of butchering perfectly good gargoyles? Don't get me wrong, we all want our ladies looking like a Shera doll (left), but the sheer amount of silicon is now officially threatening the computer industry. Forget about Peak Oil, I'm talking about Peak Silicon.

So imagine my dismay at the discovery of yet another set of pumped 3M uber-mammories that destroys one of my prized adolescent obsessions. None other than the Sacred Twins of Salvation themselves.

The link shows that this information is more than a few years old, proving that even those of us blessed with the Natural Spidey Sense can be fooled. The Mamocide must be stopped!

Tom: yeah bro, I know what you mean (don't click link if you are easily induced to nausea).

Obama is Toast

2008-03-17T10:30:00.002-06:00

Just sayin. Unfortunately that doesn't bode well for the RethugliKKKans. I think Billary does much better against Mccain than the Second Coming of Hopyness.

Justice for Blues Singer

2008-03-14T09:48:00.007-06:00

Famed blind homeless guy turned singer of the blues, Robert Bradley, to become next Governor of New York. When the "gubbna" just won't leave a poor man alone, or keep his damn hand out of a man's pocket, what is a man to do? Answer: tear that muthafucka down and become the gubbna. Congrats Mr. Bradley. I, for one, have been hoping for this day to come for you, your cat and dog, and your car in the garage.

Sean: Sweet. I love Robert Bradley. Saw him a couple of times at Ye Old Zephyr (Peace Be Upon Her). Seems like the perfect fit for a once-proud state that's singin' the blues.

Holy Crap. No friggin way.

2008-03-13T10:37:00.003-06:00

Got this from Frank J.:

I, like IMAO, thought this was some fancy video edited parody, but apparently not. This guy really is delusional. Selling Universal Disarmament as a campaign promise in the middle of WW3? I always knew that lefties spent waaaaay too much time in the echo-chamber, but thought their political front runners at least smart enough to recognize a dog rectum when they see one. I guess not. This guy will get his chode punched in the general. This, along with this, points to why I am now officially pulling for Obama. His face will get ground into the dirt by a rightfully fearful electorate. Hillary isn't this stupid and has a good chance at Mccain. "YES WE CAN!*"

*- Turn into well-done graham crackers by 2012.

McCain as Churchill figure

2008-03-09T16:30:00.012-06:00

Could be the best political ad I've ever seen, actually. McCain to provide a Churchill-style leadership--pretty good idea.

Sean: Wow. Pretty powerful evocation of Churchill and Teddy. Incredibly emotional, and I mean that in a good way. I think McCain realizes that the other side will be tugging on the heart-strings pretty hard. Love the shot of him enjoying a rare cigarette while in purgatory

Sordid Utah: Cap'n Nemo

2008-03-05T10:03:00.005-07:00

Part one in an ongoing series about unique persons of Utahdom, INFDL takes a look at Eugene "Captain Nemo" Woodland:

From the Deseret News:

The killer known as "Captain Nemo" is proclaiming his innocence in the 1990 murder of a Sandy contractor, insisting he was framed in a fantastic story of world record-setting jet boats, stolen money and a suspect in Spain.

Sweet. Just... Sweet. It continues:

In 1990, he shot and killed Bruce Larson at a Holladay building that Woodland had sought to turn into "Captain Nemo's Dinner Theater Atlantis & Fitness Center." Woodland had lost the building in a bankruptcy proceeding and Larson later bought it. Woodland confronted Larson and shot him five times in front of six people at the construction site. A construction worker was shot trying to tackle Woodland.

But to hear Woodland tell the story on Tuesday, he was framed. He blamed Larson's death on the man's business partner, whom he accused of stealing money and hiding out in Spain to thwart Woodland's attempts at proving his innocence.

Dude. "Captain Nemo's Dinner Theater Atlantis & Fitness Center."? Anybody for some nice squats between fried fish-chunks and slaw?

Questions have been raised about Captain Nemo's mental state. After being arrested, he was sent to the Utah State Hospital after his own defense attorneys raised questions about his competency. Woodland continues to insists he is not mentally ill and has refused any treatment.

"Medicine might be able to help you," parole board vice-chairman Clark Harms told him.
"No, I take vitamins and I don't drink coffee and carbonation. It gives you tumors and tumors turn cancerous," he replied. "So I'm a health nut. I really am." "Without appropriate mental health treatment, you are likely to stay here for the rest of your life," Harms told him. "The board is not going to release you until we think you're safe. The folks here at the prison ... are telling us you still represent a danger to yourself and others."

During his hearing Tuesday, Woodland tried to reason with Harms and blame questions of mental illness on a world record-setting jet boat ride. He once owned a fish-shaped, jet powered boat called the "Nautilus Missile." "When they started to listen to my jet boat and what I did, they thought I was crazy," he said. "My daughter sent letters to the board saying, 'You ought to keep dad in there, 'cause he'll get back in the boat to try to capture the record."'

You can't cook this shit up. Perhaps there is a conspiracy, though. "Nautilus Missile" was my nickname in high school. I love Utah.

Sordid Utah: An Ongoing Series

2008-03-05T09:59:00.005-07:00

We Utahrds at INFDL would like to celebrate our states' storied and colorful history of crazies with an ongoing series called Sordid Utah. We don't know if there's something in the water, or if there's just too much water in our beer, but we've had some real fukkin pinwheel-hat doozies.

Tom: Although alot of people assume that most of the nutbags of america live in the state of my current residence, Florida, many are unawares of Utah's colorful tradition in this category...I look forward to contributing to this ongoing series.

Confusion in Enviroland

2008-03-04T10:42:00.005-07:00

Everybody who knows me has, at one time or another, called me by my alter ego Nature Boy. Perhaps it was the big fro (for a mostly white guy) or perhaps it's just the way I smell. In any case, I tend to get all riled up on issues concerning the environment. Having abandoned the old stale model of environmentalism, instead focusing on market-based solutions, I often take great enjoyment in torturing my former brothers-in-arms, still dutifully slaving away for the cause, living on soybeans and brown rice. For the most part, they are all very serious about what they do. They live meager lives on purpose, to show their dedication to Gaia and to prove a point that I happen to agree with; that we need to live as efficiently as possible, so that our species can go on living for another two or three thousand years.

But there's the rub. Many in the movement don't want humans to be around for the next few millennia. Instead, they want us to be sacrificed at the alter of a vengeful Mother Goddess Gaia and to really teach us a lesson. In this camp we find groups like Earth Liberation Front, who have taken on the self-appointed role of Gaia's KGB, jealously guarding her honor, even if it means kicking her ass twice instead of once. This article will clarify my point:

Federal authorities strongly suspect that the Earth Liberation Front is responsible for a series of fires that have destroyed four multi-million dollar show homes in a suburb north of Seattle, sources told ABC News. Officials said the fires are being investigated as acts of domestic terror, but they cautioned that it's too early in the investigation to make any solid determinations. The blazes began before dawn Monday and were still smoldering by late morning.

So, in an effort to cleans the Earth of its burden of human filth, ELF has decided to have these massive homes built not once, but twice. Have these chode-punchers ever heard of insurance? Make no mistake, those homes will be rebuilt, just like all of the other ones they've torched, effectively doubling the impact on the Sacred People's Mother Goddess Chumalungma. This is to say nothing of the toxic burnt-plastic runoff that will surely find its way into the trout stream that they are "protecting". Brilliant, but then logic usually doesn't hold serve against emotion, especially when those emotions are being harbored by socially stunted, semi-homeless free loaders with nothing of importance to say.

This brings me to my second point. Where the hell is the Sierra Club or Greenpeace in all of this? Why no decisive denuciation of such senseless harm to the Mother Womb-Queen of Dirt? Could it be that, deep in the black, hardened enviro-heart, they are secretly cheering them on? Is this too many questions in a row?

Waterboarding in Utah County

2008-02-28T09:19:00.006-07:00

Dude, some of the shit coming outa down south gives me the creepazoids. For mad reals. Who's running the show down there, the CIA? Or Halli-evil-devil-burton?

Tom: gotta love those Utah Co. entrepreneurs--all of 'em fighting for the same small piece of the pie. X-treme sales pep rallies are pretty common down in Cougar Country, if I recall, and most of the dudes that I knew who were in those kind of businesses were already pretty turbo to begin with.

World's Shittiest Guitar Solo

2008-02-28T08:02:00.003-07:00

Feast on this!

Sean: Holy shit, that sucked. I love how he just abandons the solo and runs some back-up riffs instead. Well, nobody ever accused him of being a good guitarist and it doesn't make him any less fabulous. It almost reminds me of the "shredding" solos that guy did that got banned on Youtube. You, know, he'd take an Eddie solo and dub in his own really shiddy licks. I'll try to find them.

Update (Sean): Wired has all of the "Shredder" videos posted here. Truly hilarious and well worth your time. Word is that Steve Vai's agent had them pulled from Youtube.

William F. Buckley Jr. RIP

2008-02-27T13:00:00.004-07:00

Reportedly passed away at his desk. The man started the modern conservative movement. Modern as in non-Birch. He had that rare combination of being graceful and devastating as a commentator. NRO has republished his seminal first piece from National review in 1955. RIP.

Tom: may he rest peacefully in the great debonaire gentleman's club in the sky.

Scary Jesus

2008-02-25T10:18:00.003-07:00

Pretty much sums up my twenties. Thanks to American Digest.

One example of the value of AP analysis

2008-02-24T09:32:00.005-07:00

Wow, the AP has some real fucking nincompoops churning out that Sinclair-esque sausage they like to call "news". Last night, SNL had Mike Huckabee do a guest spot, which was actually funny, to his credit. The AP was on it thusly:

Even though Mike Huckabee is still battling for the Republican presidential nomination despite long odds, he said Saturday he won’t “overstay his welcome.” Then he did precisely that, lingering on the “Weekend Update” set of “Saturday Night Live” despite repeated cues to leave the stage....he remained seated at the “Update” desk even though [the host Seth Meyers] made it clear it was time for him to leave.

Problem is, it was clearly a scripted part of the segment, as anyone with a minimalist sense of humor can plainly see (this would even qualify the Amish, as well as Bevan Briggs, but not Junior over at AP).
Conclusion: Don't ever invite one of those AP bore-a-phyls to your party, they are blood sucking comedy killers, man.

Deseret Industries, Land of the Strange

2008-02-24T01:05:00.007-07:00

I've seen some wicked weird shit at Deseret Industries in my time. From masturbating homeless people to fully-grown people defecating in their pants in the checkout line, but this really takes the cake. It ends with a turn for the macabre:

Emery said she returned with her husband to discuss the incident with store managers and call police. When officers arrived, the man appeared in the store parking lot, wearing his own white jumpsuit under a trench coat and a hockey mask on his face. Police arrested him and are seeking a charge of unlawful detention.

As a person who has spent many an hour spooking about the local D.I., mostly in search of rare vinyl, I must say that for some reason, this doesn't surprise me.

Tom: bro, you tend to see more wierd shit than any other person (such as the time when that polygamist family's kid shat his pants in your van out in the desert). It must have something to do with all the whack places you choose to spend your time, in addition to the Deseret Industries. Places such as Delta, Utah; Elko, Nevada; and Death (F'n) Valley. Actually sounds sorta fun, I do love me some of them Twilight Zone moments mysselff.

Return of the Salt Lake Sharia

2008-02-22T12:13:00.006-07:00

This just won't go away. Somali taxi drivers, almost exclusively driving for Yellow Cab, the worst taxi service in the country, and a rogue shuttle driver, have locked horns over the use of a so-called "quiet room" at SLC International Airport. This Brueningsen guy is obviously more than a little sensitive to the situation and is probably a poster-boy of how not to integrate an immigrant population, but what he brings up is really a question of separation of church and state. You know, the same separation that the ACLU depends upon to collect their checks.

Brueningsen wasn't the only one who complained over the years, although he was the only one to do so formally, but Gann says the airport was generally able to address people's issues. For example, when some cabbies complained about Muslim drivers washing their feet in the bathroom, the airport opened a janitor's closet so the mop sink could be used for ritual washing. The airport spoke to the taxi company owners, telling them to convey messages of concern. But between degrees of separation, language and cultural barriers, it's hard to know what every Muslim driver understood.

So, is it really appropriate for quasi-public institutions like airports to convert mop closets into Islamic foot-washing stations? We also get the message pounded home that Brueningsen is a xenophobic, aggressive redneck:

The whole situation befuddles Clancy Prescott, 60, a Marine veteran who's driven a cab for nearly 20 years and is called "Grandpa" by a group of young Somali drivers who hang out and share food with him. "Other than this guy, I don't know anyone else who's complained," he says. "Why should he care if they pray or not? It don't bother me." The shuttle driver's antics don't surprise Thomas Howard, a Park City attorney who represented one of Brueningsen's former employers starting in 2002. He recalls the incessant harassment of his client, which required the lawyer to file for a restraining order. "The guy's an absolute troublemaker, in my opinion," Howard says.

Good, now we are finished being all "balanced" and shit. The "quiet room" has been closed and we can all move on, right? Well, there are those types of spaces scattered about airports all across America, but most with completely different set-ups:

This saddens Tarek Nosseir of the Islamic Society of Greater Salt Lake, who says he's used "quiet spaces" inside some of the country's largest airports. If he can use them as a passenger, shouldn't drivers serving passengers be entitled to the same? The difference, explains Rutan, is that nondenominational chapels in airports are leased to a third party. If a third party wanted to lease a space for drivers, such a facility would be cleared for takeoff. Meantime, port-o-potties with little sinks are the best Muslim drivers, all drivers, can expect.

Seems reasonable enough to me to have a third-party lease account for this demand to pray in public. I for one don't care if and when people pray to Allah/God/Gaia or Oprah, but I do object to one side or the other prohibiting the others' own displays of piousness. I should point out that, based upon my own limited experience, many Utah Muslims from Somalia are quite traditional, much more so than their more established Pakistani and Middle Eastern counterparts (if I may indulge myself with a gross oversimplification). But as they mature in their new lifes as Americans, I hope we see them integrate. I'm not asking them to abandon their faith, just to realize that along with their new life comes the peculiarly American tradition of derision and satire that the Jews, Evangelicals, Mormons, Atheists, etc. have endured for the last century. It's the time-honored tradition of sarcasm and childish name-calling that makes this country great.

It's really just a matter of time. Just the other day I was leaving the grocery store and as I approached my car, I was assaulted by the bone-crushingly crappy beat of Lil John, they're all the same damned beat, cranking at about 120db. It was the car next to mine and the racket had knocked the front bumper off the car. It was chock full of teenage African immigrants, all decked out in Dirty South Garb, obviously high as fuck, laughing their asses off. Maybe that integration will be complete sooner than I thought, whether their Imams like it or not.

That Didn't Take Long

2008-02-21T10:38:00.004-07:00

We always knew that the press would turn on their darling McCain when he won the Republican nomination, but I'm surprised they didn't wait at least until the race for the democratic nominee was over.

Did McCain trade political favors for sexual ones? If so, icky. I'm witholding judgement though.

SEAN: You're right Noah. Icky indeed. What this exposes is the NYTs' utter confusion as an institution and lack of tact. Didn't they just endorse McCain? If you read through the comments, even utter lefties are disappointed with their trusted source for news. Ace of Spades links to The New Republic, of all places, for the background on the story about the story. A reporter resigns, the entire newsroom in battle, etc. Weird stuff that probably helps McCain in the long run methinks. Hell of a way to ring in the general election, though. I think this fires up the base and gets McCain rolling.

Exit question: Was I way off in thinking McCain gets knocked out by Obama? The more I see Obama, the more I think he's a lightweight.

Picture of the Month February

2008-02-20T16:28:00.004-07:00

Fat Down Syndrome lady Micheal Moore wants to bring Fidel to the Oscars. Then he ate a bowl of ketchup and two sticks of butter, slowly rocking back and forth in his favorite slippers, moaning lightly.

Tom: pretty damn funny.

Castro's Beard Resigns

2008-02-20T09:18:00.002-07:00

No statement yet from John Bolton's Mustache. No saying how he'll find a new home for all of the Revolutionary People's Beard-Termites.

Asshat Tinpot Dictator Going Fishing

2008-02-19T07:48:00.002-07:00

If only he could buy a fishing pole. See you, sucker. If there was any justice in the world, his people would have skinned him and hung him upside down from a broken lamp post in Havana fifty years ago. Now his brother is king. I hope they both die soon. Assholes.

Iowa's Holy Rollers

2008-02-18T17:52:00.003-07:00

What did they accomplish? One downed eligible candidate. Captain Ed Morrissey lays it square.

Please, no more government solutions

2008-02-17T19:00:00.002-07:00

In these times, with the ever-present media blitz that the plummeting Real Estate market has caused, many politicians think what the people really want is some kind of government-based solution to the markets' woes, as shown in the bullshit stimulus package that slipped out of congress and Bush’s' asses last week. At the same time hearing, even from the GOP frontrunner, the same old crap about "corporate responsibility" and "greedy corporate interests", it's important to recognize the disasters that have befallen the business world following the implementation of these so-called solutions. Sarbanes-Oxley, the infamous Enron laws, have had a lasting negative impact on all sectors of our economy and I'm sad to report that the corporate business environment in Europe and Asia are thriving compared to the USA. This article at City Journal lays it all out there for your inspection. Then you can grieve with me about the sad state of business in this country.

Mitt Bows Out

2008-02-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

This is how it's done. No fanfare, no wobbling along for six more weeks. Mitt was a fine candidate and this move might be his most deft. He now puts the impetus on Fuckabee to do the same or be exposed for what he is: a Republican Jimmy Carter whose raw lust for power overshadows any policy stances that he might possess, all in the name of Jesus. Mitt's not VP material and he knows how McCain will be slaughtered come November. He then positions himself, as McCain did this year, as a more familiar face for 2012, but with more money and no crappy record in the Senate to deal with. That is, if we survive until 2012.

The great unspoken? The root cause? Most Evangelicals hate Mormons. The result? GOP is toast in November. Happy day.

Tom: agreed that Mitt's move was a good strategic one. And now Mike Fuckeefuckee, McCain's little buddy, has lost his reason of being. In a way, it's as if Mitt has called him out, leaving him to now actually run against McCain. It'll be fun to see him squirm, though I imagine he'll end his little game pretty soon now. A debate between those two would be absolutely pathetic, both would be rubbing each other's balls the whole time.

Why Young People Don't Listen to Classical Anymore

2008-02-06T16:10:00.000-07:00

Short answer: because of humorless "Charles Winchester the Third" butt-punchers like this. Speaking on the oh, so annoying propensity toward scurrilous "expression" that so many young classical performers possess, Wendle K. Douchepants, Jr., writing in the Old Saggy Nutsack points out, rather down-the-nose:

Wandering from one television channel to the next the other day, I came across young people playing the piano. One man, bearded and a little hefty, rippled through a Beethoven sonata, sharing with the camera complicit smiles, exultant grimaces, gazes to the right and left, and a gentle swaying from side to side.

Arthur Rubinstein was known for keeping his head and torso still while playing.
The next, a young woman, sat down to Schumann, bending her back, lifting her head and gazing straight up. Maybe God was sitting in the rafters just above her, and she was using the opportunity to say hello. Both pianists were perfectly fluent. They kept time, played the right notes and sounded expressive when they were supposed to.

I had to turn away. I could listen, but I couldn’t watch. Two performers, four glazed eyes and four waving arms were too much for my stomach. And if someone with a lifelong love for the piano repertory has this kind of reaction, what about those coming to classical music from the outside? Think of the smart young people ready to believe, filled with curiosity and good thoughts, and imagine with what astonishment and amusement they must come away from such scenes.

It’s another reason classical music is not reaching more young people: not because of how it sounds, but because of how it looks. Even worse, lugubrious gymnastics like these advertise the feelings of performers, not of Beethoven or Schumann. Music is asked to stand in line and wait its turn.

No, my snooty clueless pantywaste, YOU are the reason young people aren't flocking to Classical like they used to. The "old guard" of Classical (and the New York Times itself) simply needs to die. Diatribes like these do nothing to catch the imagination of young people, in fact they do the opposite. Classical music has a rich history of rebellion and base expression and the current mantra of publicly subsidized, politically correct orchestras fails to acknowlege this history. Faced with the stale, moth-ball sensibility of the old "Stoic Granduer" set, creative young people give a collective yawn. They then open up an instance of Nuendo, send a chat message to their Polish counterpart and create complete collaborative scores of fantastic music in real-time, only to return to finish off the enemy in Halo 3 two hours later. And that drives Winston, Buffy and crew fucking crazy.

Sharia in SLC

2008-01-31T10:01:00.001-07:00

Thanks to LGF for pointing this out. It seems some Taxi drivers have had enough Sharia at the SLC airport to last a life time:

Shuttle driver Jeff Brueningsen took photos inside the building he and other drivers share at the airport. "It was definitely an Islamic center." He said it didn't feel right, so he filed a complaint with the FAA against the airport.

"In proper, polite company you never bring up politics or religion. And they introduced both instantly into what's supposed to be a professional, secular transportation-aviation facility," Brueningsen said.

In the complaint he details claims that he was harassed by a group of Muslim drivers who he says have threatened to kill him. It came to a head earlier this month when Brueningsen says Mohammed Alahmed and other drivers attacked him.

"They were going like this, using their fingers, saying, ‘You F-ing Jew, you don't want us to pray here,'" Brueningsen says.

Alahmed says it was the other way around, that Brueningsen tried to stop him from praying.

"He say the F word against me, and I didn't do anything. And he grabbed me from my shirt and hit me with his hand," Alahmed said.

Airport police investigated and charged only Brueningsen with assault. Shortly after, the airport closed the building, and Muslim drivers began praying outside. No one was happy.

You don't say. Here's part of what I posted in the LGF comments:

In the 90's, Salt Lake became a haven for many refugees because of the cheap cost of living and surplus of jobs. As a commercial Real Estate Broker I can tell you, there re quite a few wealthy upstanding Muslim citizens in town. The Islamic society of Salt Lake is generally a very patriotic and law-abiding entity on the scene. The West Valley Mosque is one of the largest in the West. That being said, I can tell you exactly where these aggressive cab drivers are from: Somalia. Not Pakistan, Saudi Arabia or Iran, Somalia. The Somalis are some of the most pious and traditional Muslims I've ever dealt with. I once had a Somali tenant that I was forced to drop because he made a request something along the lines of:

"We need the landlord to install a separate window to the butcher room for women to stand in line separate form the men."

Assimilation is the main problem here. A simple refusal to integrate into the community. Perhaps it has something to do with being "new" or recent immigrants, I don't know, but I felt like I was standing in Mogadishu for a few minutes.

Review - There Will Be Blood - Now With More Shiny Spoiler

2008-01-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

I still feel sort of icky. This flick hit me like that slasher/sex-with-fat-chick-nightmare one has after a night cuddling a bottle of cheap Sherry after snorting an Ambien. Never mind. At once horrifying and calming, I can say with assurance that I've never had an experience like this at the multiplex. Much has been said of PT Anderson's quest to demonise capitalism and religion with this movie, but those elements didn't compute for me. Instead, on purpose or not, he ends up creating an engrossing mood so powerful that the mood overshadows the plot, sometimes to it's detriment. More often than not, what I felt I was watching was an experiment to see how alternately uncomfortable and comfortable he could make the experience for the viewer, but with such thematic and visual flair that one easily forgets the "rules", whatever they are, of movie making.

The landscapes and set pieces are gorgeous. In one scene, some of the most innovative work I've ever seen involves simple silhouettes as we see the oil derrick ablaze with the alien outlines of oil workers set against massive flames. Soon, we're on the bucolic central California coast, swimming under golden hills. Then a brutal act of violence. Scene after scene, Andersen sets out to disturb the viewer, with the help of RadioHead guitarist Johnny Greenwood's at times ultra-dissonant score. I was happy to pick out moving passages from Estonian composer Arvo Part and some Brahms as well. I must say that much of the score seems heavily derivative of Hungarian composer Gyogi Ligetis' work with quartets. Massive passages seem like they owe themselves to Ligeti's 3rd Quartet in particular. I don't know if it was part homage to the man or not, but I couldn't help but notice the raw similarity. The score mostly succeeds, and does so very well. I liked that against the more jarring passages, we also have some nice theme work to provide respite. It follows the film with incredible accuracy, many times becoming a charachter in the scenes alongside the absolutely bat shit, insanely incredible performance by Daniel Day Lewis as Daniel Plainview. No wonder he so rarely makes a film. It looks exhausting. Completely restrained one moment and a torrent of rage the next, his will be a performance that's studied by movieheads (like me) and actors for decades to come.

Paul Dano has been hailed in his portrayal of Eli and Paul Sunday in the film. Me, ehh, not so much. While Dano does an admirable job and plays the part within his abilities, he fails to convince in the more flamboyant scenes. It's in these moments that we are supposed to take Sunday on as the films' counterweight, but Dano fails to convince. His visage is all prairie-Bakersfield, but his delivery is anything but evangelical. In fairness, there are very few souls who could counterweight Day Lewis in this meaty opportunity.

As a person familiar with Central Valley/NW Mojave oil and mining history, it was disappointing to see the plot-tool treatment of the religious congregations. The pious, rather than playing an essential role in the development of the region, are like the "unknown" Smurfs that littered the background behind Papa, Smurfette and co., just so much blue in the background. Reduced to stiff mannequins shouting hallelujah, we get nothing from their presence other than people for Daniel Plainview to hate and Eli Sunday to con. On to the last movement, we see Daniel Plainview as a wretched-old-rich-man cliche ending with the cherry on top, when PT Anderson exorcises his personal hangups with religion as Plainview simply bludgeons them to death with a bowling pin in a fit of rage that had many audience members laughing out loud.

Despite its shortcomings, what unfolds is an absolutely singular movie experience that sticks to your ribs for a long while, on par with Aguire the Wrath of God and Badlands, neither of which were perfect either. I highly recommend this movie. I know it's a cliche, but it is a masterpiece. As I left the theater, I half expected to see caked-up oil gook under my fingernails and I still, three days later, feel a little dirty.

Uno Mas, Por Favor

2008-01-28T17:36:00.000-07:00

This made my day. If proven true, I'll live longer than Moses.

Somebody call the goal post moving crew

2008-01-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

When Iraq started getting ghoulish in about mid 2005, the left was quick to point out that what we where witnessing was a Civil War. By doing so they denied the truth, which was often observed by us gleeful civilian slaughterers like myself who supported the invasion, that what we where watching was anything but. Observations that the bulk of the suicide bombings and head choppings where being carried out by foreigners pointed to more of a war-by-proxy for the various asshole Islamofascist entities in the region. The reaction of the peace-mongers to this truth tended to discount or minimize the presence of foreign elements in order to fit the narrative chosen by, well, whoever the hell makes those decisions for the lefties. Somebody makes those calls, right? They all think the exact same things at all times.

This article paints a new portrait of the insurgency. New to whom? The Washington Post of course. In the northern Iraqi town of Sinjar, U.S. forces found the records of 606 foreign Jihadis who entered Iraq to get a little piece of the action. It turns out that Al Qaeda in Iraq keeps records like any beaurocracy. This cache of records has inspired U.S. authorities to tick up the estimate from 75% to 90% of all suicide attackers are foriegners. Expect the media/leftist narrative to shift from "There are no foreigners fighting in Iraq, and Al Qaeda in Iraq has no connection to Al Qaeda proper" to something like "Well, they weren't there until we invaded." Whether they were or not makes little difference to me. They are there now and we are Barbequeing them at a rate and with such succulent juicyness that Micheal Moore should drool at the very mention of Foreign Jihadi.

Coal Corruption

2008-01-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

Mr. Reynolds has an IBD editorial linked that has some really bad implications for Billary. If true, this could be the end (how many times will THAT be said about those damned Hill-Billies?). Speaking of Hill-Billies, close your eyes if you don't want to be disturbed (don't know who to credit with this nightmare):

Back in the pack

2008-01-24T16:38:00.001-07:00

Just got my current business project online and can now do some posting. It's been a real bugger to get going and took up most of my time for the last three months (other than basic bodily functions). Thanks to all two of you who read this space for your patience.

Alas....

2007-12-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am a codfish. I have been tied up in a work project and must apologize for the lack of posting. I will continue to be tied up for a while and will be posting sporadically, but Noah's posts have been excellent and negate my lack of sophomoric mumblings.

Hitler had Gas

2007-10-31T12:14:00.000-06:00

And really bad gas at that. He was also an avowed pseudo-vegan, which makes an amount of poetic sense. Vegans are Nazis.

Exit question: Did Hitler's flatulence make him the anti-Christ, or did being the anti-Christ give him flatulence? Because if it's the former, I shall soon conquer France.

Blah Blah Blah ENRON! Blah Blah

2007-10-12T12:16:00.000-06:00

That's basically how every conversation that involves energy goes when being dicussed with a commie. Doesn't matter if we're talking about a new technology, efficiency, energy politics, or subsidies, "Enron" has been to the energy debate what "Halliburton" has been to the war debate. It's the final say, the ultimate debate ender.

Problem is, it turns out the whistle-blower is a fraud. Kudos to USA Today for forgoing, however momentarily, more stories on Brittany's vagina and getting to some real reporting.

A short history: Enron was a bunch of crooked sewer-dwellers who made lots of money manipulating the energy markets. They're out of business and people are in jail. Period. Since then, Enron has been the calling card for everybody from the anti-deregulation clowns to the anti-"clean coal" technology advocates in the Sierra Club. All of this bothers me nicht. What bothers me is Sarbanes-Oxley, which the Enron debacle created, along with Worldcom, Tyco and a clueless Congress.

SOX can be blamed for the massive outflight of IPOs to London and Hong Kong, among other nasty side-effects. It can also be partly blamed for the lack of movement of alternative energy ideas to the mainstream in this country. It's just a lot more business friendly for new upstart technologies to go where the regulatory nightmare machine can't destroy them. I am constantly reminded of this fact when I read of new alternative tech companies whose first forays into the market are almost always in Europe or the second/third world.

The same enviro groups that lauded SOX can be blamed for the massive nightmare that any car maker must endure to bring a new, high-efficiency model to market in the USA. One example of many would be Volkswagen, who have a 70 mpg diesel model that is already on the road in Europe. It will take VW many years to bring this puppy to us, all the while kicking out a fortune into the bureaucratic nightmare that is the US DOT, EPA and various other alphabet soup agencies. What? Did he just say that environmentalist have kicked their own ass so they can feel publicly righteous about the evils of the free market? Yup. That's also why I don't work with them anymore.

The Sacred Keeper of our Safety

2007-10-12T11:48:00.000-06:00

Al Gore is probably stoked as hell that he didn't succeed in Florida in 2000. He's gotten hella wealthy being the soothsayer. "The ides of March", he says, sipping Mai Tais on a private jet. Good for him. He now joins such luminaries as Jimmy "Malaise" Carter, Yassir "Chode Puncher" Arafat and Rigoberta "Fake but not Accurate" Menchu, as keepers of the most worthless pat on the back ever invented.

He won't run for Prez, thank the devil, because even the devil wouldn't turn down a gazzillion dollars in the "private" sector to be the world's whipping boy. I'm not saying that anthropogenic global warming isn't real, just that the data is heavy on computer models and a light on actual beakers-and-bunsen-burners research. You know, the way Edison and Tesla (those swarthy dreamers) used to do it.

You see, we're supposed to take what the models say as if it were followed by "Thus saith the lord", but you know what? That Eubanks bastard isn't accurate out beyond 48 hours, let alone thirty years.

Update: I've ordered Lomborg's newest and can't wait. His Sceptical Environmentalist was a great read, if not completely accurate.

Turkish Troofer Movement

2007-10-11T10:19:00.000-06:00

I guess the sickness is spreading. The house moves to condemn the Armenian Genocide of 1915. Turkish Communists are wiggin':

the youth branch of the extreme leftist Workers’ Party laid a black wreath at the entrance to the United States Embassy and spray-painted the Turkish flag onto an Embassy wall. The group held Turkish flags, posters of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, the founder of the Turkish Republic, and banners reading, “Armenian genocide is an imperialistic lie,” the Anatolian agency reported.

This is why I like the resolution. Anything that pisses off groups with titles like "Workers’ Party" makes me horny. Also, Turkey is an "ally" that refused to allow us to fly through their space in the initial invasion of Iraq. They just elected an Islamist as President. Screw them. I'm sick of us pandering to our second-world allies. They should be pandering to us and begging for us not to vaporize them.

But interesting how useless this whole gambit is: us condemning the Armenian Genocide while ignoring the dozen or so genocides that came afterwards. How about a resolution condemning the Khmer Rouge or Mao? No no no, their hearts were on the right place.

We and They

2007-10-02T16:38:00.000-06:00

Frank J. distills it like no other. It begins thus:

Katie Couric said that using "we" when referring to America makes her uncomfortable. That's stupid and I hate her.

Me too.

See ya Dre

2007-09-21T14:04:00.000-06:00

Fantastic. Now we have it all laid out before us:

Andre Kirilenko wants out from under Sloan. Scratch that, AK wants out from under Deron Williams. Er, AK wants out from under the Jazz system. Hell who can even follow what this disturbed young man has floating around his strange Sputnik-shaped melon.

Let me relate a rough observation from the 2003-2004 season, when Andre was "the Man" for the Jazz, even making the all-star team. On many occasions that year, I watched Adre tank it on purpose because Mo Williams or Raja Bell (or whoever), took more shots than him in a game. It happened all the time. You'd see Dre wind up to block a shot and pull back at the last minute or some shit. He'd then mope around the court like he was on a different planet. Like all of last year. Friggin clown.

A word to the Jazz: Sit on your thumbs, call his bluff and see if he'll really walk away from that contract if the Jazz don't trade him. ESPN lays out the odds on that one.

Update: Deron calls him out. Rips on his works ethic and shot. Well, judging by his stringy body over the years, AK definitely hasn't been ripping the weights. I think Deron is one of the great ones. Friggin P.I.M.P.

Funny

2007-09-14T00:13:00.000-06:00

I like Frank J. He's funny.

The Rage

2007-09-11T11:03:00.000-06:00

It's still here in all its original power. Alas, it won't go away. A therapist would probably instruct me "exercise" it by writing a letter and burying it or some bullshit. Instead, I harbor it and keep it in a safe place. On purpose.

We constantly say things like "Never Forget", but we always do to some degree. We can't help it. The human mind is hard-wired to drop significant potions of difficult memories. This is how we deal with trauma, by personalizing it. This is why we constantly recall where we where at the time, much like the generation before us remembers with vivid detail, where they where when JFK was assassinated by a Communist extremist.

For some, the only objective is to "get beyond" events like these. I have a friend who, upon my inquiry of his thoughts bout 9/11 six years removed, explained to me "No, I don't think about it. Why would I dwell upon something that happened six years ago? I've got enough shit to worry about in my own life." For a few minutes, I strongly considered smacking him across the face, but I refrained. But maybe I should have. He had just unconsciously repeated what is surely the rallying cry of my generation: It doesn't matter. I'm not dead and neither is my family so it just doesn't matter. This is a sickness. Not only does it show an inability to see past ones ten foot person visual sphere, it illustrates an ignorance of the historically unprecedented, absolutely charmed existence that we live in the modern day. It illustrates how the vast majority of the current generation believes that this charmed existence is a natural birthright, handed down to them from the universe because they simply deserve it. To them, it wasn't born of fire and blood and treasure. It exists in spite of those things. It goes beyond Nihilism, or Narcissism to belie a truth about this generation that is as scary as 9/11 itself: it's suicidal.

So here we are, six years later on and no more cohesive as a nation than Belgium. Some believe that what we need is another 9/11 to really pull us together. What a crock of shit. People have made their decision. All another 9/11 would do is create a more deluded batch of conspiracy theorists and table-side psychologists and we don't need any more of either. A good start would be a discontinuation of our nations more macabre suicidal tendencies. How do we do that? Teach them history. Of all of the failures of our education system, there is not one that comes close to the failure to teach history and the critical thinking skills to interpret history in context. After all, what is a conspiracy theorist (which is the majority of our generation, believe me on this) but someone who can't seem to separate reality from fantasy? They simply can't process that things like 9/11 can really happen without a cheesy political thriller story line being present. It is a direct failure of historical knowledge and contextual thinking skills.

This week, I can guarantee that you will be outraged by the sight of some clown on TV declaring this or that about 9/11 and our nation and those who defend it. I would recommend we resist the urge to punch them in the face and take that rage and put it in the same spot that you reserve for the remembrance of this day. Six years later, it still resonates an internal dissonance as beautiful, complex and powerful as Ligeti's Second Quartet (songs 10-13 on the Amazon sampler), which is my choice for the day. Admittedly, it can be a little hard to swallow at first but it might be the perfect allegory for our confused brothers and sisters inability to swallow reality when it resembles a video game.

TommAy adds:
Pure excellanz, Nature Boy. The way that many have acclimatized themselves to the most insane thing to ever happen on American streets, normalizing it such that they don’t have to carry the burden of knowing that easy American living is now extremely fragile, has led me to believe that if one of our cities, say Minneapolis or St. Louis or any other city not immediately on everybody’s minds, was suddenly vaporized by 60 year old technology, that that new reality too would be mostly purged from their consciousness within about a year’s time, so as to continue the delusion that nothing in their state-of-being has to change and that all things shall remain convenient. Pure and simple, it’s laziness with some retardation involved. I think one of the definite factors that Pearl Harbor unconditionally united the country back then was that that generation had just come through the great depression, and were anything but lazy, taking for granted nothing, even their food to eat. There is something to be said for working for everything you’ve got. The spoiled generation started with the Boomers, and sadly continues. Much of the anti-war movement, in my personal opinion, can be explained by this.
Siegfried’s Funeral March from Wagner is a fitting one as well.

Patraeus and the Defeatists

2007-09-10T12:48:00.000-06:00

Patraeus is on the hot seat right now and doing a fine job. He's obviously a student of war, specifically counterinsurgency, and his changes in strategy have nowhere born more fruit than in Anbar, where Totten continues his unparralelled independant work in Iraq.

I can't help but think that this current political theater surrounding Patraeus is just that, political theater. It's largely a stage for entrenched politicians to bark out platitudes on CSPAN. Most interesting will be the reaction of those whose heads will be on a platter with an apple stuffed in their grill by Kos should they acknowledge the progress that has been made recently.

Oh, how I love watching the idiots break-dance around their serpentine Iraq policy stances, which seem to change daily. And I remain convinced that this session of Congress will go down in the books as the most inept of the last half-century.

Oh no! Not the Mighty Mos!

2007-09-10T10:47:00.000-06:00

Warning: this post is way too long and swears a lot.

Crap. One of my all-time favorites must now be written off as DTM- Dead To Me (tm).... Er, Maybe just his current shitty album, not previous ones as I hold Blackstar too close to my heart. I'm confused and hurt right now, but as a tried and true Hip-Hop fan and musician, it causes great pain for me to utter the following words:

HIP-HOP IS DEAD. As a mainstream phenomena that is. Or at least it's coughing and wheezing it's way back to obscurity, where it belongs and I mean belongs in a good way. Let me explain myself:

Mos Def, Common and Talib were great partly because they weren't Lil' John or 50 cent. There was something exciting about them when they had the urgency and vibrancy (read: chips on their shoulders) of youth. Rhymes about the difficulties of life rang honest, even if I knew they were mostly framed by bullshit. They were speaking of their experience. Now they are not speaking of their experience, because rhymes about the sparkling new estate in the Hamptons only work for people like Snoop Dogg, who, in fairness, has been mining that territory since the beginning.

Hip-Hop is and always has had a large dose of fraud mixed in with its sincerity. Open mindedness was always the catchphrase, but the message is undercut by the clarity with which Hip-Hop discriminates. There are no female MC's or DJ's worth talking about. Many are patently antisemitic, as Mos Def himself expresses on The New Danger- "The tall white Jew is running this rap shit". They generally deride homosexuals, as Common states in Like Water for Chocolate- "In the circles of faggots, your name is mentioned". And of course, they deride their main audience, white people (too many references to mention).

All of this doesn't necessarily make their art moot, as it is the raw expression and flow of words over bad ass beats that can be downright moving, not necessarily the message. It just gets a bit tiresome when you realise that these millionaires think they're being "oppressed".

So, on the bright side, maybe it'll continue as it truly should, as an under-the-radar idiom free to be what it wants, like Jazz is now; no longer selling millions of albums, but with fine musicians kicking out some fine material, with much of jazz being more free and important than ever.

So with any luck, Hip-Hop will not end, it will simply evolve past its cro magnon beginnings, recess back to the shadows where it belongs and become brilliant again.

Update: Mos Def's screed is strangely reminiscent of this Chapelle piece on jury duty.

Chinatown

2007-09-10T09:57:00.000-06:00

It could be argued that the current set of ridiculous campaign finance reform laws, you know, the ones that killed McCain's presidential run, not only infringe on the solemn right of Americans to belittle the fuckers in DC, but open the door to incredible feats of cheesy Chinese pulp fiction.

Guys with names like “Shrimp Boy” Kwok Chow and Winkle Paw. A delirious Chinese man on Amtrak running around mumbling nonsense in his underwear. A "rubber glove" business. Child prostitution rings and heroin dealers. The Freemasons. Hillary Clinton.

This one's a real popcorn popper and I'll be back in a minute with a big buttery bag of Orville.

OBL/OLBY Convergence

2007-09-08T12:15:00.000-06:00

Alas, another shameful embarrassment for the Left. Sans the shame of course. There is no shame left on the Left.

Back from the bowels of the Earth

2007-09-05T17:32:00.001-06:00

I just got back from a place in a remote corner of the great state of Idaho (been there since last Thursday). I've been going there for five years now and really enjoy the place. I figured I'd post some pictures to balance out the negative gay-bathroom pub our neighbor to the north has seen as of late:

Really weird formations and lighting effects are the norm:

If you look really closely at the bottom of the dry river bed, you can see my compadre Mike. He's the little yellow dot:

I did make a few new friends down there. I am here to testify that none of them tapped their feet in "that" way:

I'm now in re-entry/decompression mode and trying to gather the willpower to open my inbox to see the hundreds of unopened messages about whatever crap was important last week. I think I'll have a beer instead.

Musings

2007-09-04T21:27:00.000-06:00

Okay, has anybody else noticed lately the relationship between big huge sunglasses and really dumb bitches? Here in Florida, the relationship has been found to be this: the bigger the sunglasses, the dumber the bitch...

There’s a huge condo crash at the moment in Florida, so we’ve now got a whole load of carpetbaggers/transplants (i.e. New York greasebags, and some real one-percenters from Jersey--link NOT SAFE for work) who came here to get rich quick by investing hundreds of thousands of dollars in uncompleted condos, and who are now unable to hold on to their high-priced South Beach trophy slutbuckets because they can’t even afford to fill up their Hummers. Now, I’m no economist, but doesn’t it affect the rest of us, as it affects the wider economy, when tens of thousands of these bozos take out huge loans and then default en masse? But I’ll let one of these Einsteins defend himself:

"All my guys in New York were like, 'Yeah, flipping condos in Miami.' It was a sexy commodity, and it was fun to make money."

So I was up in Tennessee this past week visiting my sister while I had other family in town. I visited the local place of historical interest called the Carter House, a little inconspicuous vintage looking house on the main road in Franklin, TN. Turns out it was the epicenter of the Battle of Franklin: a five-hour long battle that constituted “the bloodiest few hours of the entire American Civil War,” and the death blow to one of the South’s two main Armies (six southern generals were killed there). The curator there gave an amazing tour and description of the events; one of those rare personalities with expertise and animation. There weren’t any of the surrounding houses back then, just surrounding. Now it’s just a two acre, non-federally owned property, and on top of the list of most endangered Civil War battle sites. One very interesting story, among about 10 others, from the tour: two officers, one from each side, had become engaged in a personal contest with each other for some reason (I cannot remember what the curator said was the reason). Unable to see amidst all the thick smoke, they were hunting each other. The southern officer then appeared from out of the smoke, shooting the federal officer in the chest with a revolver. The federal then ran the confederate through with a saber, mortally wounding him, but as he fell down to die, shot the federal officer in both kneecaps. The federal officer, having lived through it, became the father of the great WWII general Douglas MacArthur--just a hair’s difference then and there might have completely altered history. Strange that is.

Sean: Wow, I didn't know that about Macarthur. Great point about how history constantly hangs on a dime, TommAy. Just think if Peter Ivy had succeeded with cold fusion for the chemistry merit badge.

Belated Scheisse

2007-08-30T11:27:00.000-06:00

Hey fellas. How’s it (and they) hangin? I think I remember Noah’s diarrhea-speed output on the blog a couple years back was attributed to being ass bored at work. Well, that be the damn truth! I am one bored wegro right now, so I'ma get started expressin’ maself.

I got started on a lengthy review of a Libertarian convention more than a month ago, but became so bored doing it that I got an old man’s wang for blogging. So I’m just going to paste it unfinished and not deal with it anymore, so that my junk will remain crunck (to maintain virility in the johnson) for blogging. I will then post some of my other musings from the past little while.

Went to a Libertarian conference in Las Vegas this past week; 3 full days of speeches by anarchists, those who like to think that they are anarchists, and conservatives who tend to like the "Libertarian" label more (there were also a number of speakers of other persuasions speaking on other topics, including, humorously, a tiny shrimp of a British guy describing himself as "a hard core Darwinist"). Anyway, the highlight of the whole deal was a Libertarian vs. Conservative debate on foreign policy and Iraq between Ron Paul and Dinesh D'Souza. Ron Paul was joined by Doug Casey, a true anarchist and apparent non-believer in the Constitution. D'Souza was joined by Larry Abraham, a life-long Libertarian who supports the Bush Doctrine. Simply put, D'Souza owned Ron Paul and co. The Libertarian side did make some good points (common-sensical reasoning but severely outdated for this conflict), but I couldn't even believe some of the other stuff that passed as worthy of our consideration. This Doug Casey guy, savvy investor sensei he may be, could have been the worst arguer I've ever heard (apart from those who resort to lies to make their points). For example, this is, verbatim, what passed as serious debate material from this dude: "And let's bring home all our troops from all foreign bases, all they do is bring home bad habits anyways!" Great reason, you dimwitted old fart! I do have a great deal of respect for Ron Paul though, if not for his views, then because the guy is principled to the core, as opposed to the flaccid penises who make up 98% of the reps in DC. Larry Abraham was good too, his best point being, basically (and simply) that, "all the foreign policy and other bullshit from the past 90 years does not matter. All that matters is the hand we are dealt right now." On the way out I overheard some real numbskulls patting themselves on the back as they regurgitated one of Ron Paul's talking points-- that over the past 50 years the largest percentage of suicide bombings have been in Sri Lanka (or some other bullshit that I don't even care to remember), and those cases have nothing to do with America, and so terrorism is all just being overblown. Hey, let's see what happens to that percentage when we only consider the last 10-15 years, DICKHEADS!!

State-controlled Industry

2007-08-25T09:39:00.000-06:00

Let's do this again:

When the State controls an entire industry, that industry will experience two things: shortages and a healthy black market. Utah is learning this about booze. Not that watery piss at 7-eleven. I'm talking about the delicious stuff that tastes as its creators intended.

Although there is no actual shortage of fluids of libation in this great country, the weird and unfathomable dance that Utah does with liquor has created an actual shortage of licenses. Yes licenses. They sport a quota system that's too stupid to quote, but it is being tapped at too fast of a pace to issue many more.

I'm not arguing against a state's right (or a county or city in some cases) to regulate unseemly and unsightly things such as liquor, nuclear waste, drugs and fat bitches, and while I'm a fairly strong federalist-dude, it is my duty as a drunk to point out things that piss me off. So I am posting a point-counterpoint to the top five standard issue arguments about Utah's lacivious libation and liquor laws:

1) If you don't like it, then leave. - Fuck off, I like it here.

2) Look over there, that other state/county/city has even more rediculous regs on liquor than Utah! - Yeah, they suck too.

3) These regs reflect the opinion of the majority of Utahns. -That's fine. Set that in stone. You should be aware of the "bite you in the ass" effect of such populist arguements. As the demographic constitution of this state continues to change, the majority opinions in Utah may just change. Then I will say to you "These regs reflect the opinion of the majority of Utahns".

4) So you have to go to the liquor mart to buy drink. Big friggin deal! - The selection, being controlled by the state, sucks ass.

5) Making people do a little dance discourages people from lascivious behaviour. - Maybe. We do know it greatly enriches our neighbors in Evanston and Wendover. Just go count the Utah license plates when you enter those locales. The levels of contraband entering the state at any given point probably rivals the Texan Border towns, although laden with different cargo. It's simple economics. Three or four trips to Evanston saves, depending on level of alcoholism, hundreds of dollars a year to intrepid shoppers.

A parting note: you think we would've won WWII without Churchill getting his gallon of scotch per day? I think not. I know it's a lame argument, but I get to say things like that because I'm arguing with myself here.

I love talking to myself. I always win that way.

Noah: I don't drink, but I agree with Sean. Making people go to state liquor stores or Wyoming is ridiculous. I hate the state liquor stores. I buy stuff for cooking every once in a while and somehow I always feel like a criminal in there. It's like buying your booze at the DMV.

Any true Conservative should hate the situation in Utah. When is a government monopoly ever a good idea? The law does nothing but cause hassle, expense, and annoyance for taxpayers.

BOOOOO! BOOOO I say!

Sean, I have a solution. Let's go into business together making moonshine and bathtub gin.

Something that looks bad from a distance...

2007-08-24T12:57:00.000-06:00

...is usually going to be bad up close. I wasn't planning on seeing September Dawn because the previews made it look like a Lifetime Network battered wife show with Meredith Baxter-Berney being replaced by the Fancher party and John Voight as the monstrous husband.

I may change my mind now that it is being reviewed as one of the worst films of the last 30 years. The New York Times puts it thus:

But these aspects are eclipsed in the film by the Mormons’ Snidely Whiplash-like treachery. Their evil is established in an early sequence that cross-cuts between two dinner-table prayers: the travelers wishing the Mormons well, and Jacob urging God to please send Satan’s children to hell, amen — in a grimly righteous tone that begs for the punch line, “Now please pass the ham.”

Now this is starting to pique my interest. An anti-Mormon Reefer Madness? Pretty much:

Cain has turned the Mormons into baby-eatin’ Nazis to suit his argument, parading around these black-clad, chin-bearded, testicle-slicing gunslingers without any thoughtful consideration. To Cain, the Mormons were hulking, borderline insane fundamental gorillas who flung excrement at anyone daring to besmirch the name of Joseph Smith (played by…oh man…Dean Cain), and led around on a dog collar by a Zod-like deity in Brigham Young.

And when you have the Village Voice defending Mormons, you've a certified historical anomoly, up there with the original Dream Team and discovery of a very much alive Elizabeth Smart:

September Dawn has the ham-fisted lyricism of political ads and pharmaceutical commercials.

With renewed Mormo-phobia being bandied about thanks to the Romney run, it's interesting that the filmmakers have been running around proclaiming this movie to be a warning about all forms of religious fanaticism. Of course, they didn't have the courage to make a flick about, oh say, Beslan.

So Hollywood gets to smack around a slow-moving and harmless target, secure in the knowledge that they will not be subjected to Fatwas or stabbings. This is modern courage.

I have to see this, so I will be the official INFDL guinea pig, plug my nose and plop down six bux to wade through this dogshit flick. Now that's courage.

Don't Rock the Vote

2007-08-22T21:53:00.000-06:00

Noah pointed out a few weeks ago how we really shouldn't be encouraging kids who can't identify America on a map to vote. Or youth who know what Crunk is, but Federalism not so much. In fact, I'd preffer P-Pufster-Pantaloons-Diddy himself to die before he votes too.

Now, now. I'm not talking about denying these clowns their rights, just maybe hiding them a little. McCain Feingold could be adjusted ever so slightly so that instead of blatantly protecting incumbency and infringing on free speech, we ensure that Lil John doesn't get the write-in candidacy locked up every year.

The words vote, ballot and other electiony words would only be uttered on stations like C-Span or PBS and would be strictly prohibited on MTVs 1-13 and the Cartoon Network within six months of an election.

A more eloquent opinion on the matter can be found here.

Eeesh

2007-08-22T21:50:00.000-06:00

Nobody needs to know this, I don't care if it's true.

Picture of the Month (August)

2007-08-21T14:42:00.001-06:00

High heel racing. From the Manolo:

Opium

2007-08-20T16:32:00.000-06:00

I've often wondered why Afghanistan's cash crop can't be put to use as a supply for the multi-billion dollar medical opiate market, ala Turkey in the early 80's. Instead, we are actively destroying thousands of acres of the only real income-producer in Southern Afghanistan and in the process empowering our enemies there with a lucrative black market cash source for the continued slaughter of locals and NATO troops.

This guy has a few ideas about the possibility of drastically reducing the inordinate amount of economic power our current strategy in Afghanistan has created for the bad guys.

It would be a good start, but why not consider other places in the world where our snazzy War on Drugs has empowered some really shady dudes. Like, say, our southern border. I would love to see some data on the exponential increase in border crossings since the 1980's with its attendant crime wave. I'm more than curious to see if the advent of drug paranoia helped create that beast. Anybody else wonder if one of the many elephants in the room, along with political chaos in Mexico and the ineptitude of our bureaucracy in handling immigration effectively, is our obsession with looking "tough on drugs"?

Update: Volokh Conspiracy has a good post on this (Via Instapundit).

The Transformation

2007-08-20T01:54:00.000-06:00

I've never been able to rightly describe my personal transformation in the aftermath of 9/11. I've touched on it a few times, but never put it to paper in any comprehensive manner. This guy (at the damned Guardian, no less) nails it in a way that almost scared me in it's similarity to my experience. Read all three parts if you don't feel like being productive at work for a couple of hours.

Coal mining is an ugly and thankless job...

2007-08-17T18:18:00.000-06:00

and if it weren't for those who do it, we wouldn't be pontificating endlessly online about whatever pet concern we have for the day. I hope they find those guys and I hope those rescuers are remembered for their sacrifice. We'll be tippin' one back tonight in their honor. The SL Trib has the ongoing drama covered pretty good.

But he was ELECTED, man...SLuuuurrp, cough...Halliburton..

2007-08-17T17:50:00.000-06:00

Hugo Chavez has now declared himself the supreme ruler of Venezuela. Super. It will be interesting to see how his sycophants will react to this latest development. Anyone for some bong-accentuated twister? (Thanks, Charles Johnson, hallowed be thy name).

Update: Took me thirteen seconds to find a lunatic over there who loves her Chavez cherizo! Oh, how the ignorant seem to think alike.

Satan Has Left the Building

2007-08-14T10:41:00.000-06:00

Olympus High's most notorious alum has called it quits and the tinfoil hat brigade is out in full force at the Salt Lake Tribune. Apparently, the very men who made this monster are ashamed of their creation:

The former Utahn excelled in the realm of politics, rising to President Bush's deputy chief of staff. But he never learned the ethics of the game, says J.D. Williams, a former U. political science professor who taught Rove. "He certainly demonstrated a command and love for politics," Williams, a Democrat, said Monday. "He loved politics. [But he] missed out on the other critical aspect of it and that was . . . the ability to play the game fairly and with honor."

You see, the game in Washington is all about playing "fairly and with honor". Right. When I think of Washington, I think of it being all "fair and with honor" and shit. No more comment on that one.

I've never quite understood the fervor with which the left hates this man, who was an excellent electioneer, as evidenced by his ability to repeatedly win for the prez despite the big man's inability to speak English and a certifiably shiddy policy guy, as evidenced by the big man's many craptastic ventures into big government. Is the source of hatingness the Voodood Majik he whipped out in 2000 and 2004? I certainly once thought so, but I think it goes deeper. A small sampling of the rabid Rove-Haterz over at the Trib:

powerofone: 8/14/2007 4:29:00 AM
Rove was nothing more than a political hit man for the republican mafia. His job was to take out the opposition. He excelled. Now he must pay for his indescretions.

booker: 8/14/2007 10:21:00 AM
Creep, no other word for this jerk. Ruin our country, will be years before this great country can recover if ever from all the damage this cretin and GWB had done to it. All in the name of power! Ruin lives, taken lives (mistake of war, Iraq) ethics, this quy doesn't know the meaning of the word. He has none. I like what a guy said on Countdown last night, with this guy gone from the White House, it's lame brain, instead of Bush's brain.

Why do angry leftist always sound like either Darth Vader or Gomer Pile on human growth hormones? Bad spelling, heavy breathing, black cape, etc.

One positive: I think I've just chosen my Halloween costume. I'll get really fat and keep my hair a little too long, get that Rove-style chemotherapy hairdo and lurk in the shadows. And I'll only trick-or-treat on the east side of Salt Lake for full effect.

Noah: The reason they hate him so much is because they think Bush is a retard. And you can't really hate a retard (although, come to think of it, they do) but you can hate the person who gives a retard the nuclear football. Also, the Left is addicted to conspiracy theories, and in any good conspiracy theory there is a front man (Bush) and then the shadowy figure behind that man. They decided a long time ago that Rove was the puppet master.

"President Bush Hangs His Head in Shame for His Crimes Againgst Everything"

2007-08-09T11:07:00.000-06:00

That's what the headline should read for this little kicker from the AP/NYT. The message is clear: Bush is personally responsible for our failing infrastructure for the last thirty years. I don't know how, but we all know it's true, right? Notice how the media projects its vile shame fantasy by carefully selecting the photographs that are attached to stories:

Looking down camera-left, biting lip, head bowed and heavy with the guilt of obvious sins. Sins we all know about.

But the award for most adventurous and clever blaming of Bush goes to the Chicago Tribune, who manage to tie Muslim-backlash exploitation, 9/11 and the Minneapolis bridge-collapse into one quivering suicide-stew of Bush blaming. Beautiful and absurd at the same time. Like Woody Allen.

Movie Review- Little Dieter Needs to Kick Some Ass

2007-08-06T12:55:00.001-06:00

Werner Herzog is famous for his almost B-movie disregard for special effects and slow-motion over-theatrics. His better films (Aguire the Wrath of God, Grizzly Man, Fitzcarraldo, etc.) have instead relied upon the sheer scale of natural setting, escalating madness and human isolation to convey his ideas. At his best, he can put the viewer directly into the impossible surroundings of his mad-man characters, whether it be Klaus Kinski or Timothy Treadwell. At his worst, he can put you in the car driving home half-way through a really boring movie about a Jewish wrestler-strongman guy (from what I can remember). Thankfully, his lapses into the latter are rarely the case.

Rescue Dawn is the story of Dieter Denglers' real-life imprisonment and escape from a Laotian prison camp in the run-up to full blown conflict in Vietnam. He is the only American survivor of the Laotian camps as detailed in Herzog's 1997 Documentary Little Dieter Needs to Fly. His story is friggin incredible.

Christian Bale and the usually comedic Steve Zahn form an on-screen friendship as genuine as I can remember. Bale once again makes Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise look like zit-faced Degrassi Junior High actors and Zahn should be nominated for best supporting role for his incredibly real take on a man who has had the life sucked out of him, but not quite all of it.

But the most pleasant surprise of all has to be Herzog. His matter-of-fact style is still at the forefront, but the film almost has a decidedly sunny bent about it that I have never before seen him display. The jungle scenes have an awesome majesty (no surprise here, as Herzog has a storied history of jungle films), but he almost always balances the claustrophobic jungle-struggles with bits of humor or almost religious appreciation of the incredible natural landscape. He never lets the joy sink out of the film and pays scant attention to the obvious torture that Dengler endured. Many contemporary directors would undoubtedly be lured into the trap of showing, with great glee and close-up detail, the various cliched and obvious offenses.

As a fan of Herzog, I was struck with the tone of the film. There is no introspective moment of the realization of the horrors inflicted upon innocent indigenous peoples of Laos. No scenes of guilty stuffed-suit white senators drooling over the prospects of slaughtering more innocents (I find it sad to say that I fully expect modern movies to preach to the viewer constantly about the various and sundry evils of our country), but Herzog makes an obvious choice not to take the conventional route. Instead he tells an inspiring story, stripped of bullshit and in all its patriotic glory. That's also why it won't get any awards.

Pickled fish rating: Four kipper snacks out of four. Best flick yet in 2007.

Preserving the Cultural Heritage of Africa

2007-08-03T10:55:00.000-06:00

Does somebody at the Onion read INFDL? Don't be silly, but this is really funny anyway. Most important observation:

"We don't want to introduce plumbing, electricity and housing and doorknobs because that's going to take away what it means to be inherently African"

Straight out of Taiwan

2007-08-03T09:47:00.000-06:00

This scene displays the current crop of clown-bags "in charge" of Congress in full regalia. The Politico gives more detail (via Instapundit):

The rancor erupted shortly before 11 p.m. as Rep. Michael R. McNulty (D-N.Y.) gaveled close the vote on a standard procedural measure with the outcome still in doubt.
Details remain fuzzy, but numerous Republicans argued afterward that they had secured a 215-213 win on their motion to bar undocumented immigrants from receiving any federal funds apportioned in the agricultural spending bill for employment or rental assistance. Democrats, however, argued the measure was deadlocked at 214-214 and failed, members and aides on both sides of the aisle said afterward.
One GOP aide saw McNulty gavel the vote to a close after receiving a signal from his leaders – but before reading the official tally. And votes continued to shift even after he closed the roll call - a strange development in itself.

Yes, very strange indeed. It does bring to mind some of the more fantastic bouts in the Taiwanese Parliament, though without any actual bloodshed (Dammit!). It is, however, sad that one might compare this Congress to the Taiwanese Parliament. Sign of the times, I guess.

P.S. I would pay good cash too see a Bono-Boxer inter-league bout. So would Vegas.

The Logical Conclusion to Hate-Crime Legislation

2007-08-01T19:30:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a bit late to the game, but this is the direct result of the thought-control legislation movement. We can't really be surprised when opportunistic Terror Apologists seize upon attempts by our, um, sissy-class to protect the anointed from the evil 1st-world. This is to be expected in Europe, where prophetess Oriana Fallaci (may Allah bless her soul) was on trial in Italy for having the audacity to question Islam.

I suspect that in America, there is only so much of this that can be gnawed upon. There has to be a breaking point where we refuse to be silenced. This seems to be just the job for.... Well, you know who (QUINTUPLE CONTENT WARNING!!! NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR BAR MITZVAHS).

Noah: My question is, if putting a copy of the Koran in the toilet is a hate crime, why aren't works of "art" like Serrano's "Piss Christ" hate crimes as well? Does hate crimes legislation only protect Muslims? If Shmulevich had taken a dump on it, taken a picture, and then called it "art" would he have been all right? Probably not, but if he'd used a Bible everything would have been a-okay.

And if putting a Koran in the toilet is so awful, why doesn't anyone care that the Saudis routinely destroy all non-Wahhabi approved versions of the book that they find at their borders?

You didn't ask for it but . . .

2007-07-31T16:35:00.000-06:00

Here is yet another of my novellas. I just finished it. It's the story of an L.A. divorce detective who gets sucked into a murder case in a small Southern Utah town. Read it at your own peril.

Sean: I shall, my fine bearded friend, I shall.

The end of fondue as we know it

2007-07-27T09:27:00.000-06:00

Aside from the grossly overpriced dipping sauce, now there's another reason to not go to the Melting Pot in Downtown SLC. I've witnessed some weird as hell stuff in the kitchens of my former restaurant life, but this tops the list. One of my favorites:

(Disclaimer for UDABC--in no way is the author responsible for over-service of alcohol to any of the following subjects. All subjects were drunk as hell before they entered the restaurant, which became clear after I had served them each one beverage.)

Over at Fresco, I had a drunken solitary Power-Lesbian (PL for our purpose here) leave her table, sit herself at a table occupied by an elderly Italian couple, the lady of which being completely senile and plastered as Winston Churchill. PL had been mumbling something about her mom and, while I was busy in the trenches, made a b-line for the Italians.

As I emerged from the kitchen I heard a strange sound coming from the Italian table. As I got closer, it slowly became clear as to what was happening. PL had the drunk old lady cradled in her arms and was singing some kind of lullaby to her while gently stroking her hair as the old man obliviously sipped on his Chianti. In between poorly placed notes, PL could be heard saying things like "It's okay, Mommy" and "We all miss you, except that bastard so and so".

Not having ever had that happen, I flipped an abrupt U-turn into the kitchen to relay what was going on to my chef. As I was stuttering through an attempted explanation, the kitchen doors flew open and Sarah, my dear compadre in the trenches of many restaurants who has a Jerry Sloan-type command of creative language, ran directly to the garbage cans and threw in a bowl of what appeared to be really watery pasta. "The old bitch puked!" she proclaimed, face red with rage. She then relayed the goings on in her part of the restaurant:

A couple with one child and their grandma had been seated toward the front of the restaurant. Before the butts hit the chairs, the old lady grumbled loudly "Give me a scotch and water with no fucking ice... If I want ice, I'll put it in myself, goddammit!" Sarah politely asked if granny was shitfaced, and the family implied that she was simply in the "Tourette's" stage of dementia and that she would settle down with a nice beverage. Sarah obliged and brought out the appetizers and drinks. As she left the table, a spooky silence fell upon the dining room, which was packed on a busy Friday. She turned around as the father explained "It appears mother has vomited" pointing at her bowl of now-laden-with-elderly-bile strozzapreti.

As Sarah was fuming through her story, we heard a loud thump outside the kitchen door. With much fear, we peaked through to find the Italian drunk elderly lady lying face down in front of the ladies room with PL standing over her. The Lesbian, with her assertive businessman hairdo, explained that "Mommy" had fallen and that she would now leave her to our care. We peeled granny from the floor while she sang some songs lightly in Italian and we placed her in the care of the floor manager.

Not surprisingly, the remaining patrons were in no mood for some nice tiramisu following that evenings' harrowing events. Me and Sarah? Only one thing came to mind: "Give me a scotch and water with no fucking ice!"

Update: More info from the SL Trib on the unfortunate death of the Hispanic boy.

Ye Old Wolfe

2007-07-26T18:21:00.000-06:00

Every now and then, it helps me feel sane to hear it be told exactly as it is by Tom Wolfe. Go read IN THE LAND OF THE ROCOCO MARXISTS (originally June 2000 Harper's Monthly) for his dead-on take on America pre-9/11.

Sean: You wiener. I just read the whole thing and my day's productivity is shot.

Wolfe is right on the money. I started my post-high school education at a bottom tier state college, but even that place had the kind of intellectual Wolfe describes. Except that they were even lower-rent.

Sitting in those classes where they teach garbage like Marxist Criticism and Reader Response is like going to a restaurant and eating a plate piled high with horseshit. You go there every day for three or four months, packing in more horseshit and digesting none of it. Then, on the day of the exam, you vomit it all back up onto the page and make a solemn oath never to eat horseshit again.

I remember getting into a fight once with a literature professor about the worthlessness of feminist literary criticism. We went at it tooth and nail for two straight days, with her little toadies in the class nipping at me from time to time. One of the toadies went on to write a poem attacking me in the school literary magazine that the professor edited (it didn't say my name, but it was perfectly clear who it was about). To her credit, she also published the poem I submitted, even though it was an embarassingly awful immitation of T.S. Eliot. (Maybe she did it to humiliate me.)

After that I just went back to eating the horsehit and vomiting it back out at exam time.

The NBA Officially Has a Problem

2007-07-25T10:42:00.000-06:00

Like the pun? Me neither.

Utah Jazz fans don't need to be convinced of the incredibly shiddy officiating that permeates the league. From the infamous Howard Eisley 3-pointer that was called off in the 1997 finals to the obvious Jordan on Bryon Russel push-off that is hanging on posters world-wide, the David Stern conspiracy theories, true or not, abound in my home state.

This is an issue that has been out in the plain of day for years to the average NBA fan. The super-star treatment, the blatant change in officiating guidelines come playoff time (an obvious god-send to the Spurs) and the home-court cooking are all in constant conversation rotation for the NBA nation (and yes, I am the white Hip-Hop King). This does not help one bit.

So can we please do away with the mainstream media canned response to fan complaints about the game calling in the NBA? It goes something like this: "We, in professional media, with our incredibly balanced perspectives and layers of editorial review, put absolutely no stake in the swarthy spectators' allegations of Blah Blah Blah". So give it a rest, Monson, whose silence thus far is deafening.

Strangely enough, the usual local suspects really are either completely silent or in knee-jerk defense mode on this. Hence, we turn to the blogosphere. Over at Pajamas Media, they aren't above the fans perspective at all:

But even more troubling than this is the fact that hardly anyone was surprised. I know I wasn’t. To many sports fans, the question of whether NBA refs have been dirty in the past was never an issue. The question has always been how much of the horrid officiating in the NBA game was the result of incompetence and how much was due to the gamblers?

Yeah, that does come to mind, doesn't it? Bill Simmons at ESPN Page 2, commenting on the superstar thing, puts it like this:

This perpetual leeway allows gifted athletes like Wade, Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to drive recklessly into traffic in crunch time, knowing they can either score or draw a foul. (Even when Michael Jordan won the '98 Finals on what everyone believed was his final shot ever, he famously shoved Utah's Bryon Russell to the ground before launching that jumper. No whistle.) If anything, LeBron's pre-2007 game depended on this leeway so much that he was completely ineffective in the 2006 World Championships; he kept bowling his way into the paint and waiting for calls that never came. The international refs almost seemed amused by him. The NBA refs would have been bailing him out.

So how does the NBA recover from the worst scandal in league history? My proposition is pretty simple: give each team one instant replay per game and up to two after that, with each one consuming a time out. That measure wouldn't really gum up the game any further than it already is with the incessant fouls called and disturbing instances of Manu Ginobili-style flopping, which I'm convinced is a remnant of European soccer-flopping. Each team would have to think long and hard about expending a time out. And on the Ginobili problem, assess a "one warning then technical shots" penalty for flopping.

But even these measures will do nothing to dispel the common fan laments. In particular, any measure will surely fail when it comes to fan perception of past wrong-doing. You'll never be able to fix the Jazz fan who "knows" he was wronged a decade ago. Stern, you're really screwed now.

Noah: Amen.

You've been complaining about this for as long as I've known you (about 20 years) and I can't believe it took you this long to post on the bent ref.

And everyone LOVES a pun. Never apologize! The other night Conan O'Brien told a joke about James Hetfield being detained at the airport after setting off "the heavy metal detector". The audience booed him but I laughed for about five minutes straight.

Sean: Alas, I am an ass-clown. Monson was on vacation. He hit it pretty hard today.

Ward Churchill Shitcanned

2007-07-25T10:27:00.000-06:00

For plagiarism and general ethical clownishness. Take that, you fake Indian.

Also, on a similar note, I am constantly corrected by my anthropologist/sociologist/whatever-ologist friends when ever I utter the word "Indian". The common refrain is thus: (in between sips of a nice bubbly Proseco) "Ahem! I believe the proper nomenclature is Native American".

My ass. I've spent a fair amount of time on the reservations of the West and the word from their mouth is Indian. American Indian for the more sensitive. This is what they prefer. I've had many of them complain that the word native is inherently insulting and I have to agree for the obvious "savages" implication. More proof that the sacred PC nomenclatures are more about appeasing the lily-white professor-conscience than protecting the anointed.

Noah Adds: In commemoration of this event Iowahawk has reprinted his classic Chutch piece. While you're over at Iowahawk make sure your vote for your favorite Hoosegow Honey

But at least they provide healthcare in Iran!

2007-07-23T16:24:00.000-06:00

This pleasant little nugget over at Charles Johnsonland reminds us that, despite what the Multi-Cult spews daily, some cultures are inferior, that's right I said it, In-Friggin-Ferior to our own.

Noah: Sean’s absolutely right about some cultures just being better than others. Check out how crappy things in Iran are. Hey lefties, this is what a real theocracy looks like. It’s tough to be a cute Iranian girl when nasty old biddies like that are part of the theocratic police state.

By the way, I read a great book about the Iranian revolution a few weeks ago. It was a graphic memoir called Persepolis. I strongly recommend it.

Also, if you are interested in the question of cultural superiority you need to read Thomas Sowell.

Sean: Noah, I still have a copy of that excellent Sowell book you mentioned. I received it from you years ago and need to come clean about that fact. So if you wondered, there you have it.

Noah: Even as I was writing my addition to your post I found myself thinking, "I wonder what ever happened to my copy of that book . . ." mystery solved! I don't remember if I loaned it or gave it to you, either way its your's now, you bastard. I don't have the bookshelf space for half my books anyway. If you want, you can steal my copy of this book as well. It amplfies a lot of what's in Race and Culture.

Give me a phone that can do what my TV can do

2007-07-22T17:48:00.000-06:00

You know how you don't have to change out your TV set every time you switch from Cable to Dish and back to take advantage of start-up discounts? Sure you change the service, but the TV itself works whether its Dish or Comcast. I thought this article presented an interesting point about how you and your wallet generally have to do gymnastics to switch phone services. You generally can't use the same phone with other services even if you paid $500 for the unit and it's exactly the same unit with another provider. That sucks.

Another thing: I've been a "smart phone" user since its inception and have found them, without exception, to be anything but "smart". Constant hang-ups, strange unpredictable behaviour, crappy reception, etc. I can't wait yo have a real computer in my hand and sometime this century would be nice. Moore's Law my ass.

Noah: The solution to your problem is easy. Throw away your phone! Who do you want to talk to anyway? People are fountains of aggravation and a cell phone is just a way of letting them spit on you no matter where you are.

We have survived Dick Cheney's term as acting president

2007-07-21T10:14:00.000-06:00

I'll bet there were a lot of left wing nutjobs who though that Cheney would launch an attack on someone, anyone, while the president was under anesthesia. I'll bet they're actually kind of disapointed he didn't. There's nothing they enjoy more than some good outrage.

Sean: I was waiting for Cheney to jail some Democrats and instate marshal law, or outlaw books. Come on Dick, at least crucify Chomsky upside down or something!

Former Exalted Cyclops of the Klu Klux Klan Condemns Black Football Player . . .

2007-07-20T10:01:00.000-06:00

That’s the headline I would like to have seen with this CNN story.

Apparently Robert Byrd gave a speech condemning dog fighting. Here’s an excerpt:

"Barbaric," shouted the senator. "Let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain and from valley to valley across this broad land. Barbaric!"

My guess is that what the former Exalted Cyclops really wanted to say was this:

“Niggers! Let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain and from valley to valley across this broad land. Niggers!”

Luckily for him he’s a Democrat, so such insinuations won’t make it to the mainstream press.

Nice Buns

2007-07-19T13:59:00.000-06:00

The cardboard-Chinese bun story I linked to the other day may be a hoax. It's also possible that the Chinese are sick of stories about tainted food and are now concocting a coverup of Cardboard-bungate. Either way, this is the last time I will ever post on this story (unless they shoot the reporter who put the original story together).

Get a Grip, People!

2007-07-19T10:30:00.000-06:00

Now, I know New Yorkers have been through a lot. And I understand that their city is a bigger target for terrorists than any place in the United States . . . but should people run screaming and crying down the street every time they hear a loud noise? You know all the terrorists are out there in their caves giggling about New York’s reaction to a burst pipe. Get a grip New York. You guys are supposed to be the toughest in the country, so set a good example.

Of course, this story is nowhere near as embarrassing as Boston’s reaction to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force marketing campaign. One little Mooninite flips them the bird and all of a sudden everyone’s standing in a puddle of urine . . .

This Congress Sucks

2007-07-18T23:09:00.000-06:00

A 14% approval rating for the new carriers of the flame. Serves them right. Bastards. They even make Bush look like a political genious at 34%. (Got the link to Don Surber from Instapundit).

Noah: The press can't mention Bush's name without bringing up that 34%, but we hear very little about the even more embarassing 14% that congress has managed. Fourteen percent is the kind of number that David Duke would get from a poll of the NAACP.

Europe, You're Next

2007-07-18T14:34:00.000-06:00

The black hand of Sharia continues to creep across Africa. If Christian, Jewish, Pagan, Hindu, and Atheist Europeans don't start having more babies it won't be too long before we see this phenomenon in France & Co.

Sean adds: It doesn't really surprise me as Africa has a long and bloody history of Sharia, but it still scares me. And I love how the BBC still manages to contradict itselft once every other sentence, in one breath stating:

More than a dozen Muslims have been sentenced to death by stoning for sexual offences like adultery and homosexuality since the Sharia legal system was introduced in 2000.

And the next:

He says his men will soon launch a raid on Sabon Gari to cleanse it of all "instruments of sin". But Mr Abdulkarim also understands the complex cultural nuances of his environment.

Yeah, lots of understanding of "complex cultural nuances" going on there.

Bottle it Up

2007-07-18T09:51:00.000-06:00

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Modesto police have arrested a man and a woman on felony charges of child endangerment after discovering that a miniature horse lived in their home's kitchen and dining room, which were covered with trash and feces . . .

"The conditions were horrendous," said John Bear, animal control supervisor for the Modesto police. "This miniature horse had been housed indoors for I'm guessing a good length of time by the amount of animal waste that was built up inside the house."

A boy who lived in the house told police he had been sleeping in a tent inside his bedroom to protect himself from the infestation of flies, Bear said.

As a person who hates pets, I just don’t see the upside to having a horse crapping all over your house. The horse lives in your house and you have to sleep in a tent to get away from the flies? How is this a good deal?

This happened in Modesto, and it may help explain a lot about TommAy . . .

Also from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Constant teenage venting over crushes, popularity or other personal problems may lead to anxiety and depression in girls . . .

Amanda Rose, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Missouri at Columbia and lead author, said the results may reflect a cultural tendency of girls to blame themselves when they aren't invited to parties or when boys don't call back.

"The more they talk about it, the more depressed and anxious they feel," she said.

The study's findings add a cautionary note to the perennial advice to the young that they should always talk out their problems instead of bottling them up.

So remember, when you tell her to shut the hell up you’re not being a jerk, you’re doing her a favor.

Sean adds: Dude, is that first story from the Onion or something? I've seen some strange stuff in the real estate world but nothing like that. Well a few unfortunate situations in Magna and Kearns maybe, but I'm eating right now and don't want to foul my lady's keyboard.

More on Africa from an African. And other stuff.

2007-07-17T17:06:00.000-06:00

I've always wondered how Africans (or any of the anointed minority) are made to feel about all the filthy-rich lily-white people who are constantly "saving" them. Instapundit linked to this editorial that rather plainly asks Hollywood to get the hell out of Africa:

Perhaps most interesting is the language used to describe the Africa being saved. For example, the Keep a Child Alive/" I am African" ad campaign features portraits of primarily white, Western celebrities with painted "tribal markings" on their faces above "I AM AFRICAN" in bold letters. Below, smaller print says, "help us stop the dying."
Such campaigns, however well intentioned, promote the stereotype of Africa as a black hole of disease and death. News reports constantly focus on the continent's corrupt leaders, warlords, "tribal" conflicts, child laborers, and women disfigured by abuse and genital mutilation. These descriptions run under headlines like "Can Bono Save Africa?" or "Will Brangelina Save Africa?" The relationship between the West and Africa is no longer based on openly racist beliefs, but such articles are reminiscent of reports from the heyday of European colonialism, when missionaries were sent to Africa to introduce us to education, Jesus Christ and "civilization."

We at INFDL have with great glee over the years pointed out the directly racist underpinnings of leftist advocacy. The thought that all the swarthy little brown people need is some white dildo-muncher to trounce about holding a giant paper-mache doll of Dick Cheney has more to do with the insecurities found within leftists themselves. I know as I used to bite that pillow myself awhile back.

In many ways this tendency is psychologically similar to the ways of the conspiracy mongers that we all too often have to suffer. There's this idea that only they have some incredibly important piece of information that needs to be brought out to the world and that because only they have this information, the powers that be will do anything to silence them.

It's a well-worn tradition on the left to portray themselves as some sort of lone guardian of truth. A good example was a few years ago when a friend insisted that I read this book. Here's the book in a sentence: GE and other "multi-nationals" (codeword for Boooogie-man) had acquired all the patents to solar power and keep prices high because it would threaten their stranglehold on the energy markets. There's little mention of the cost of raw silicon wafers, whose prices and scarcity have skyrocketed because of the advent of what are known as "computers". But in the world of the conspiracy-left, markets elements like supply and demand, or the earlier mentioned concept of self-determination don't exist except to keep the people down.

Noah Adds: The progressive types have nothing but derision for that old imerialist Rudyard Kipling, but their attitude towards anyone with a dark tint of skin seems to be a lot like his:

Take up the White Man's Burden --
The savage wars of peace --
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought
Watch Sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hope to nought.

The irony is that if his much-derided imperialism hadn't been killed off by progressive dogoodery Africans would be doing a million times better today. You can say, "yeah, but they wouldn't have self-determination". But do they have it now? Would Zimbabwe be better off under the rule of Gordon Brown or Robert Mugabe? I'm not saying that the colonization of Africa was right but . . .

"With women, communication is everything"

2007-07-16T16:23:00.000-06:00

Here is an inspiring link for lovelorn INFDL's. Don't ever give up.

It takes very little prodding . . .

2007-07-16T12:44:00.000-06:00

to get me to post my newest story. All TommAy did is ask about the novel I'm currently working on and here it is. It's a noirish sort of comedy/thriller about an ex army ranger who gets caught between two warring drug lords on the Texas/Mexico border. It is tentatively titled "Laredo Lowdown" but the alliteration is too cute and will have to go when I think of a good title.

Random Tombstone in Fields, Oregon

2007-07-13T17:13:00.000-06:00

Twins. Born in 1914, died in 1917. Took this one in a break between the great monsoons of '05. Also the first picture on this blog... Just sayin'.

The City of Salt, Yo!

2007-07-13T17:03:00.000-06:00

Vegas got nothing on Salt Lake. The mean streets of Utah, Beotch!!

The asshats that run this country...

2007-07-12T20:52:00.000-06:00

sometimes make me want to pluck out my ass hair one curly at a time. I'm speechless... No I'm not:

Listen, Mr. congressman/woman,

We all know that the main reason that most of you are in office is because you just couldn't hack it in the private sector. You sucked at what you did then and BIG SURPRISE, you suck at what you do now. We, the American public, know that Acme Dildo Co., which you used to run, could only produce big, floppy, soft phallus. And you know the old saying: "when you can't make a dildo that stays hard, then you shouldn't set out to run this fucking country."

Lousy punks. I feel better now. Sorry.

Noah Adds: What the Democrats have demonstrated on their various war votes is a lack of leadership and a severe political cravenness.

After 9/11 President Bush was enormously popular (hard to believe these days) and it would have been extremely difficult politically for the Democrats to go against him in his desire to crush the evil and dangerous regime of Saddam Hussein. So they voted for war. (Though they now claim that they only voted to give Bush the option to go to war, they never really thought he’d do it!)

Now Bush is as popular as a syphilitic serial rapist at a NOW convention. The war is actually more popular than he is, but is still a political loser. So they’ve all jumped ship.

For the Democrats, foreign policy is nothing more than an extension of domestic politics. But that isn’t leadership. F.D.R. did everything he could to help the allies and to prepare the U.S. for war before the country woke up and realized that WWII was our fight as well. That was leadership. The modern Democratic Party is allergic to that sort of thing.

My guess is that a lot of Democrats didn’t believe in the war even when they were voting in favor of it. If I’m right, that means that members of the Democratic Party are willing to send soldiers to their deaths in an unwise and unjust war just to stay in office. It’s hard to imagine anything more immoral or cowardly.

Hillary Clinton has turned in one of the most despicable and hypocritical performances on the issue. She refuses to say that her vote in favor of going to war was a mistake while at the same time she says that the war is a disaster and we have to get the troops out. But if the war is a debacle that has ground up the lives of thousands of troops, maimed thousands more, killed tens of thousands of Iraqis and devoured billions of hard earned American dollars all to no end, how is that not a mistake? But Hillary knows that her trick of doublespeak is her best political play at the moment, so she runs with it.

Sean Adds: Noah, you are correct about the cynical nature of Democratic actions (inaction) on national defense. I had this conversation with TommAy the other night as well. They constantly invoke the name of JFK while simultaneously shitting upon his legacy. There was probably one president in history as willing to use force to thwart the Communist effort, and that was Truman. JFK devoted his entire short political career to confronting the communist threat (Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis, invasion of Vietnam, etc.).

The Democrats of today have no interest in the defense of this nation and now some of the weak amongst the Republicans have sensed that Iraq is a political loser and are bailing ship. This disgusts me. If the conservative base can be mobilized to defeat the recent immigration "reform" bill, then the time is now for that same base to bitch-slap the ill-advised concept of voluntary surrender. A plague of Bleggorhea upon both houses.

A Bunch of Crap

2007-07-12T16:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I received a pin from my company for “two years of service”. The pin was presented in a quick ceremony that involved a lot of forced clapping and insincere hand shaking. What kind of award is a pin commemorating two years of service anyway? It is an award that says two things: A) you are competent enough to not get fired, and B) you are not competent enough to get a better job. Needless to say it went directly into the trash the moment I got back to my office.

Yesterday I also discovered that in contrast to my phony distinction, a certain INFDL has a very real one . . . his own page on IMDB. Look it up.

Have you ever eaten something (at an airport perhaps) and said, “Wow, this is as flavorless as cardboard.” Well, if you live in China it might actually be cardboard.

I’m going to go golfing with TommAy tomorrow. He better plan on a thorough ass kicking.

Sean Says: Noah, I did the search and came up with a few near hits, but nothing direct. And give that TommAy kid a swift kick in the pants for me.

Protein Wisdom in Repose

2007-07-11T18:11:00.000-06:00

Whilst perusing my favorite blogs a couple of days ago, I noticed a strange occurrence over at Goldstien's place, which in and of itself doesn't say much, as Goldseins place is usually chock full of strange occurrences. I often arrive there in pursuit of some heady-cheeky psycho-political commentary that is unmatched on the net. This was a bit more than usual though. As the comments unfolded, it became clear what was happening. For the last year or so, Jeff, his wife and young son have been stalked and threatened by a lesbian commie troll named Deb Frisch, a former University of Oregon Psychology teacher, who says unspeakable things, usually of a violent sexual nature about anybody who disagrees with her. To let Jeff G. tell it:

Comment by Jeff G. on 7/11 @ 10:37 am #

I guess I should note that Frisch has recently taking to making “jox”– and posting pictures — of the dead child of a blog commenter on another site.In addition to this, she’s made “jox” about the epileptic wife of another blogger. Something about herbeing “twitchy” — and wondering what it must be like to “hump” or “phuque” her. This is what used to teach children and work as a consultant in decision science for the FBI.Bask in its warmth.

Comment by Jeff G. on 7/11 @ 10:46 am #

And yes, I’ve been dealing with this stuff CONSTANTLY, which has caused me to take time off, lose readers, etc.Early on, I had a lot of support from other bloggers. But lately, not so much. Loss of traffic has meant lost revenue.Not everyone has abandoned me entirely, though. So let me take the time now to say thanks to, among the bigger bloggers, Glenn Reynolds, for continuing to keep me afloat with his shows of support and encouragement.Frisch has once again — with no provocation — stepped up her assault on me, my site, my family and my friends.Which means I am simply going to redouble me efforts to put a stop to it.

Obviously, Frisch is a very sick individual. It's also obvious that if the sexual roles were reversed, Jeff could probably get the clown-ass authorities in Oregon to do something. Who knows, perhaps she's had a floppy installed recently, upgrading her status to male v2.0? As Charles Johnson is fond of saying, "There is a very bad craziness loose in the world."

P.S. I just dropped a twenty on Jeff G. I encourage all others with extra weed money to do so as well.

Update: Jeff gives an update. Good luck, and may you somehow get rich from this shit. Also, from Brian J. in the comments, we here that PW contributer Dan Collins is now being harrassed as well:

Brian J.said...
In addition to restarting her harassment of Jeff she has posted the work information of PW contributor Dan Collins and has started making phone calls and sending E-Mails to his place of employment.This creature has left the bounds of reason and is now traveling in loopy world. It would be sad if she weren't such a vicious little ferret.

Sean said...
Incredible. Any resident INFDL lawyers (you know who you are) care to take a swipe at this one? There must be some kind of recourse.
12:07 PM

Well, Mr. Lawyer pants?

Noah: Yes, there is recourse. It's little known precedent in the common law called "beat her to death with a hammer and make sure the body is never found". I've translated it from the Latin so you laymen can understand it.

Other than that there are always restraining orders.

Update: I think Goldstein has gone the RO route already. And Sinner in the comments has done the Latin thing for you, Noah:

Sinner said...
That would be:pello pepulli pulsum suus ut nex per a pango quod planto certus somes est nunquam instituo

Sinner is also the husband of the the woman who Frisch, in her mastery of lefty-mongoloid sardonic whit, has labeled "twitchy":

Sinner said...
We have been following the antics of Dr. Frisch for a year now. First at DHD and now at Teh Squeaky Wheel
I happen to be the husband of "twitchy".

This bitch be CRAYZAY!

The Prince of Darkness,

2007-07-09T12:02:00.000-06:00

better known as Miles Davis, knew exactly what he was saying when he pointed out the brilliance of another Prince, you know, Prince Prince. Aside from the wicked falsetto and ripping licks, who would have thunk it that he would also become the industry's foremost market experimenter? Last week, he up and pissed off the entire music industry again and inked a deal with the Globe and Mail in London to distribute his new album Planet Earth for free with three million Sunday editions.

His record label nixed the conventional distribution of his album in the UK, likely sighting saturation issues when 3 million hard copies hit the street, and Virgin Records, already reeling from shitty sales along with the rest of the industry, blew a testicle over the revelations. The U.K.’s Entertainment Retailers Association co-chairman Paul Quirk (unfortunate name) said:

“The Artist formerly known as Prince should know that with behavior like
this, he will soon be the Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores.”

That sounds an awful lot like a threat, Mr. Quirk. Not the kind of thing you should be saying if your skippering a ship that is going the way of the 8-track. It's very interesting for me to hear an entire industry whine about their entitlement to not only existence, but to absolute control over production and distribution of a product. A good parallel might be the anger surely caused to compass makers once GPS was privatized. Of course that argument was probably short, as the usefulness of the new technology became clear to everybody.

This isn't the first time Prince has smeared poop on the walls of the record industry. In the Warner Brothers dispute years (Artist Formerly Known as , etc), he released multiple albums on the internet only, a completely unheard of concept at the time, and banked gazzillions of bux. In fact, he makes more now than he ever did in his "big years" of '82-'86, officially becoming the top industry earner in 2004. And it probably wont be the last revolutionary business move for the fem-funk prince. All hail the King! Besides, any body heard of Michael Jackson lately without it being a setup for a boy-ass joke?

Update: Wired has it right.