Tuesday, July 31, 2007

You didn't ask for it but . . .

Here is yet another of my novellas. I just finished it. It's the story of an L.A. divorce detective who gets sucked into a murder case in a small Southern Utah town. Read it at your own peril.

Sean: I shall, my fine bearded friend, I shall.

Friday, July 27, 2007

The end of fondue as we know it

Aside from the grossly overpriced dipping sauce, now there's another reason to not go to the Melting Pot in Downtown SLC. I've witnessed some weird as hell stuff in the kitchens of my former restaurant life, but this tops the list. One of my favorites:

(Disclaimer for UDABC--in no way is the author responsible for over-service of alcohol to any of the following subjects. All subjects were drunk as hell before they entered the restaurant, which became clear after I had served them each one beverage.)

Over at Fresco, I had a drunken solitary Power-Lesbian (PL for our purpose here) leave her table, sit herself at a table occupied by an elderly Italian couple, the lady of which being completely senile and plastered as Winston Churchill. PL had been mumbling something about her mom and, while I was busy in the trenches, made a b-line for the Italians.

As I emerged from the kitchen I heard a strange sound coming from the Italian table. As I got closer, it slowly became clear as to what was happening. PL had the drunk old lady cradled in her arms and was singing some kind of lullaby to her while gently stroking her hair as the old man obliviously sipped on his Chianti. In between poorly placed notes, PL could be heard saying things like "It's okay, Mommy" and "We all miss you, except that bastard so and so".

Not having ever had that happen, I flipped an abrupt U-turn into the kitchen to relay what was going on to my chef. As I was stuttering through an attempted explanation, the kitchen doors flew open and Sarah, my dear compadre in the trenches of many restaurants who has a Jerry Sloan-type command of creative language, ran directly to the garbage cans and threw in a bowl of what appeared to be really watery pasta. "The old bitch puked!" she proclaimed, face red with rage. She then relayed the goings on in her part of the restaurant:

A couple with one child and their grandma had been seated toward the front of the restaurant. Before the butts hit the chairs, the old lady grumbled loudly "Give me a scotch and water with no fucking ice... If I want ice, I'll put it in myself, goddammit!" Sarah politely asked if granny was shitfaced, and the family implied that she was simply in the "Tourette's" stage of dementia and that she would settle down with a nice beverage. Sarah obliged and brought out the appetizers and drinks. As she left the table, a spooky silence fell upon the dining room, which was packed on a busy Friday. She turned around as the father explained "It appears mother has vomited" pointing at her bowl of now-laden-with-elderly-bile strozzapreti.

As Sarah was fuming through her story, we heard a loud thump outside the kitchen door. With much fear, we peaked through to find the Italian drunk elderly lady lying face down in front of the ladies room with PL standing over her. The Lesbian, with her assertive businessman hairdo, explained that "Mommy" had fallen and that she would now leave her to our care. We peeled granny from the floor while she sang some songs lightly in Italian and we placed her in the care of the floor manager.

Not surprisingly, the remaining patrons were in no mood for some nice tiramisu following that evenings' harrowing events. Me and Sarah? Only one thing came to mind: "Give me a scotch and water with no fucking ice!"

Update: More info from the SL Trib on the unfortunate death of the Hispanic boy.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Ye Old Wolfe

Every now and then, it helps me feel sane to hear it be told exactly as it is by Tom Wolfe. Go read IN THE LAND OF THE ROCOCO MARXISTS (originally June 2000 Harper's Monthly) for his dead-on take on America pre-9/11.

Sean: You wiener. I just read the whole thing and my day's productivity is shot.

Wolfe is right on the money. I started my post-high school education at a bottom tier state college, but even that place had the kind of intellectual Wolfe describes. Except that they were even lower-rent.

Sitting in those classes where they teach garbage like Marxist Criticism and Reader Response is like going to a restaurant and eating a plate piled high with horseshit. You go there every day for three or four months, packing in more horseshit and digesting none of it. Then, on the day of the exam, you vomit it all back up onto the page and make a solemn oath never to eat horseshit again.

I remember getting into a fight once with a literature professor about the worthlessness of feminist literary criticism. We went at it tooth and nail for two straight days, with her little toadies in the class nipping at me from time to time. One of the toadies went on to write a poem attacking me in the school literary magazine that the professor edited (it didn't say my name, but it was perfectly clear who it was about). To her credit, she also published the poem I submitted, even though it was an embarassingly awful immitation of T.S. Eliot. (Maybe she did it to humiliate me.)

After that I just went back to eating the horsehit and vomiting it back out at exam time.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The NBA Officially Has a Problem

Like the pun? Me neither.

Utah Jazz fans don't need to be convinced of the incredibly shiddy officiating that permeates the league. From the infamous Howard Eisley 3-pointer that was called off in the 1997 finals to the obvious Jordan on Bryon Russel push-off that is hanging on posters world-wide, the David Stern conspiracy theories, true or not, abound in my home state.

This is an issue that has been out in the plain of day for years to the average NBA fan. The super-star treatment, the blatant change in officiating guidelines come playoff time (an obvious god-send to the Spurs) and the home-court cooking are all in constant conversation rotation for the NBA nation (and yes, I am the white Hip-Hop King). This does not help one bit.

So can we please do away with the mainstream media canned response to fan complaints about the game calling in the NBA? It goes something like this: "We, in professional media, with our incredibly balanced perspectives and layers of editorial review, put absolutely no stake in the swarthy spectators' allegations of Blah Blah Blah". So give it a rest, Monson, whose silence thus far is deafening.

Strangely enough, the usual local suspects really are either completely silent or in knee-jerk defense mode on this. Hence, we turn to the blogosphere. Over at Pajamas Media, they aren't above the fans perspective at all:

But even more troubling than this is the fact that hardly anyone was surprised. I know I wasn’t. To many sports fans, the question of whether NBA refs have been dirty in the past was never an issue. The question has always been how much of the horrid officiating in the NBA game was the result of incompetence and how much was due to the gamblers?

Yeah, that does come to mind, doesn't it? Bill Simmons at ESPN Page 2, commenting on the superstar thing, puts it like this:

This perpetual leeway allows gifted athletes like Wade, Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to drive recklessly into traffic in crunch time, knowing they can either score or draw a foul. (Even when Michael Jordan won the '98 Finals on what everyone believed was his final shot ever, he famously shoved Utah's Bryon Russell to the ground before launching that jumper. No whistle.) If anything, LeBron's pre-2007 game depended on this leeway so much that he was completely ineffective in the 2006 World Championships; he kept bowling his way into the paint and waiting for calls that never came. The international refs almost seemed amused by him. The NBA refs would have been bailing him out.

So how does the NBA recover from the worst scandal in league history? My proposition is pretty simple: give each team one instant replay per game and up to two after that, with each one consuming a time out. That measure wouldn't really gum up the game any further than it already is with the incessant fouls called and disturbing instances of Manu Ginobili-style flopping, which I'm convinced is a remnant of European soccer-flopping. Each team would have to think long and hard about expending a time out. And on the Ginobili problem, assess a "one warning then technical shots" penalty for flopping.

But even these measures will do nothing to dispel the common fan laments. In particular, any measure will surely fail when it comes to fan perception of past wrong-doing. You'll never be able to fix the Jazz fan who "knows" he was wronged a decade ago. Stern, you're really screwed now.

Noah: Amen.

You've been complaining about this for as long as I've known you (about 20 years) and I can't believe it took you this long to post on the bent ref.

And everyone LOVES a pun. Never apologize! The other night Conan O'Brien told a joke about James Hetfield being detained at the airport after setting off "the heavy metal detector". The audience booed him but I laughed for about five minutes straight.

Sean: Alas, I am an ass-clown. Monson was on vacation. He hit it pretty hard today.

Ward Churchill Shitcanned

For plagiarism and general ethical clownishness. Take that, you fake Indian.

Also, on a similar note, I am constantly corrected by my anthropologist/sociologist/whatever-ologist friends when ever I utter the word "Indian". The common refrain is thus: (in between sips of a nice bubbly Proseco) "Ahem! I believe the proper nomenclature is Native American".

My ass. I've spent a fair amount of time on the reservations of the West and the word from their mouth is Indian. American Indian for the more sensitive. This is what they prefer. I've had many of them complain that the word native is inherently insulting and I have to agree for the obvious "savages" implication. More proof that the sacred PC nomenclatures are more about appeasing the lily-white professor-conscience than protecting the anointed.

Noah Adds: In commemoration of this event Iowahawk has reprinted his classic Chutch piece. While you're over at Iowahawk make sure your vote for your favorite Hoosegow Honey

Monday, July 23, 2007

But at least they provide healthcare in Iran!

This pleasant little nugget over at Charles Johnsonland reminds us that, despite what the Multi-Cult spews daily, some cultures are inferior, that's right I said it, In-Friggin-Ferior to our own.

Noah: Sean’s absolutely right about some cultures just being better than others. Check out how crappy things in Iran are. Hey lefties, this is what a real theocracy looks like. It’s tough to be a cute Iranian girl when nasty old biddies like that are part of the theocratic police state.

By the way, I read a great book about the Iranian revolution a few weeks ago. It was a graphic memoir called Persepolis. I strongly recommend it.

Also, if you are interested in the question of cultural superiority you need to read Thomas Sowell.

Sean: Noah, I still have a copy of that excellent Sowell book you mentioned. I received it from you years ago and need to come clean about that fact. So if you wondered, there you have it.

Noah: Even as I was writing my addition to your post I found myself thinking, "I wonder what ever happened to my copy of that book . . ." mystery solved! I don't remember if I loaned it or gave it to you, either way its your's now, you bastard. I don't have the bookshelf space for half my books anyway. If you want, you can steal my copy of this book as well. It amplfies a lot of what's in Race and Culture.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Give me a phone that can do what my TV can do

You know how you don't have to change out your TV set every time you switch from Cable to Dish and back to take advantage of start-up discounts? Sure you change the service, but the TV itself works whether its Dish or Comcast. I thought this article presented an interesting point about how you and your wallet generally have to do gymnastics to switch phone services. You generally can't use the same phone with other services even if you paid $500 for the unit and it's exactly the same unit with another provider. That sucks.

Another thing: I've been a "smart phone" user since its inception and have found them, without exception, to be anything but "smart". Constant hang-ups, strange unpredictable behaviour, crappy reception, etc. I can't wait yo have a real computer in my hand and sometime this century would be nice. Moore's Law my ass.

Noah: The solution to your problem is easy. Throw away your phone! Who do you want to talk to anyway? People are fountains of aggravation and a cell phone is just a way of letting them spit on you no matter where you are.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

We have survived Dick Cheney's term as acting president

I'll bet there were a lot of left wing nutjobs who though that Cheney would launch an attack on someone, anyone, while the president was under anesthesia. I'll bet they're actually kind of disapointed he didn't. There's nothing they enjoy more than some good outrage.

Sean: I was waiting for Cheney to jail some Democrats and instate marshal law, or outlaw books. Come on Dick, at least crucify Chomsky upside down or something!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Former Exalted Cyclops of the Klu Klux Klan Condemns Black Football Player . . .

That’s the headline I would like to have seen with this CNN story.

Apparently Robert Byrd gave a speech condemning dog fighting. Here’s an excerpt:

"Barbaric," shouted the senator. "Let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain and from valley to valley across this broad land. Barbaric!"

My guess is that what the former Exalted Cyclops really wanted to say was this:

“Niggers! Let that word resound from hill to hill and from mountain to mountain and from valley to valley across this broad land. Niggers!”

Luckily for him he’s a Democrat, so such insinuations won’t make it to the mainstream press.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Nice Buns

The cardboard-Chinese bun story I linked to the other day may be a hoax. It's also possible that the Chinese are sick of stories about tainted food and are now concocting a coverup of Cardboard-bungate. Either way, this is the last time I will ever post on this story (unless they shoot the reporter who put the original story together).

Get a Grip, People!

Now, I know New Yorkers have been through a lot. And I understand that their city is a bigger target for terrorists than any place in the United States . . . but should people run screaming and crying down the street every time they hear a loud noise? You know all the terrorists are out there in their caves giggling about New York’s reaction to a burst pipe. Get a grip New York. You guys are supposed to be the toughest in the country, so set a good example.

Of course, this story is nowhere near as embarrassing as Boston’s reaction to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force marketing campaign. One little Mooninite flips them the bird and all of a sudden everyone’s standing in a puddle of urine . . .

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

This Congress Sucks

A 14% approval rating for the new carriers of the flame. Serves them right. Bastards. They even make Bush look like a political genious at 34%. (Got the link to Don Surber from Instapundit).

Noah: The press can't mention Bush's name without bringing up that 34%, but we hear very little about the even more embarassing 14% that congress has managed. Fourteen percent is the kind of number that David Duke would get from a poll of the NAACP.

Europe, You're Next

The black hand of Sharia continues to creep across Africa. If Christian, Jewish, Pagan, Hindu, and Atheist Europeans don't start having more babies it won't be too long before we see this phenomenon in France & Co.

Sean adds: It doesn't really surprise me as Africa has a long and bloody history of Sharia, but it still scares me. And I love how the BBC still manages to contradict itselft once every other sentence, in one breath stating:
More than a dozen Muslims have been sentenced to death by stoning for sexual offences like adultery and homosexuality since the Sharia legal system was introduced in 2000.
And the next:
He says his men will soon launch a raid on Sabon Gari to cleanse it of all "instruments of sin". But Mr Abdulkarim also understands the complex cultural nuances of his environment.
Yeah, lots of understanding of "complex cultural nuances" going on there.

Bottle it Up

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Modesto police have arrested a man and a woman on felony charges of child endangerment after discovering that a miniature horse lived in their home's kitchen and dining room, which were covered with trash and feces . . .

"The conditions were horrendous," said John Bear, animal control supervisor for the Modesto police. "This miniature horse had been housed indoors for I'm guessing a good length of time by the amount of animal waste that was built up inside the house."

A boy who lived in the house told police he had been sleeping in a tent inside his bedroom to protect himself from the infestation of flies, Bear said.

As a person who hates pets, I just don’t see the upside to having a horse crapping all over your house. The horse lives in your house and you have to sleep in a tent to get away from the flies? How is this a good deal?

This happened in Modesto, and it may help explain a lot about TommAy . . .

Also from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Constant teenage venting over crushes, popularity or other personal problems may lead to anxiety and depression in girls . . .

Amanda Rose, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Missouri at Columbia and lead author, said the results may reflect a cultural tendency of girls to blame themselves when they aren't invited to parties or when boys don't call back.

"The more they talk about it, the more depressed and anxious they feel," she said.

The study's findings add a cautionary note to the perennial advice to the young that they should always talk out their problems instead of bottling them up.

So remember, when you tell her to shut the hell up you’re not being a jerk, you’re doing her a favor.

Sean adds: Dude, is that first story from the Onion or something? I've seen some strange stuff in the real estate world but nothing like that. Well a few unfortunate situations in Magna and Kearns maybe, but I'm eating right now and don't want to foul my lady's keyboard.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

More on Africa from an African. And other stuff.

I've always wondered how Africans (or any of the anointed minority) are made to feel about all the filthy-rich lily-white people who are constantly "saving" them. Instapundit linked to this editorial that rather plainly asks Hollywood to get the hell out of Africa:

Perhaps most interesting is the language used to describe the Africa being saved. For example, the Keep a Child Alive/" I am African" ad campaign features portraits of primarily white, Western celebrities with painted "tribal markings" on their faces above "I AM AFRICAN" in bold letters. Below, smaller print says, "help us stop the dying."

Such campaigns, however well intentioned, promote the stereotype of Africa as a black hole of disease and death. News reports constantly focus on the continent's corrupt leaders, warlords, "tribal" conflicts, child laborers, and women disfigured by abuse and genital mutilation. These descriptions run under headlines like "Can Bono Save Africa?" or "Will Brangelina Save Africa?" The relationship between the West and Africa is no longer based on openly racist beliefs, but such articles are reminiscent of reports from the heyday of European colonialism, when missionaries were sent to Africa to introduce us to education, Jesus Christ and "civilization."

We at INFDL have with great glee over the years pointed out the directly racist underpinnings of leftist advocacy. The thought that all the swarthy little brown people need is some white dildo-muncher to trounce about holding a giant paper-mache doll of Dick Cheney has more to do with the insecurities found within leftists themselves. I know as I used to bite that pillow myself awhile back.

In many ways this tendency is psychologically similar to the ways of the conspiracy mongers that we all too often have to suffer. There's this idea that only they have some incredibly important piece of information that needs to be brought out to the world and that because only they have this information, the powers that be will do anything to silence them.

It's a well-worn tradition on the left to portray themselves as some sort of lone guardian of truth. A good example was a few years ago when a friend insisted that I read this book. Here's the book in a sentence: GE and other "multi-nationals" (codeword for Boooogie-man) had acquired all the patents to solar power and keep prices high because it would threaten their stranglehold on the energy markets. There's little mention of the cost of raw silicon wafers, whose prices and scarcity have skyrocketed because of the advent of what are known as "computers". But in the world of the conspiracy-left, markets elements like supply and demand, or the earlier mentioned concept of self-determination don't exist except to keep the people down.

Noah Adds: The progressive types have nothing but derision for that old imerialist Rudyard Kipling, but their attitude towards anyone with a dark tint of skin seems to be a lot like his:

Take up the White Man's Burden --
The savage wars of peace --
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought
Watch Sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hope to nought.

The irony is that if his much-derided imperialism hadn't been killed off by progressive dogoodery Africans would be doing a million times better today. You can say, "yeah, but they wouldn't have self-determination". But do they have it now? Would Zimbabwe be better off under the rule of Gordon Brown or Robert Mugabe? I'm not saying that the colonization of Africa was right but . . .

Monday, July 16, 2007

"With women, communication is everything"

Here is an inspiring link for lovelorn INFDL's. Don't ever give up.

It takes very little prodding . . .

to get me to post my newest story. All TommAy did is ask about the novel I'm currently working on and here it is. It's a noirish sort of comedy/thriller about an ex army ranger who gets caught between two warring drug lords on the Texas/Mexico border. It is tentatively titled "Laredo Lowdown" but the alliteration is too cute and will have to go when I think of a good title.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Random Tombstone in Fields, Oregon

Twins. Born in 1914, died in 1917. Took this one in a break between the great monsoons of '05. Also the first picture on this blog... Just sayin'.

The City of Salt, Yo!

Vegas got nothing on Salt Lake. The mean streets of Utah, Beotch!!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The asshats that run this country...

sometimes make me want to pluck out my ass hair one curly at a time. I'm speechless... No I'm not:

Listen, Mr. congressman/woman,

We all know that the main reason that most of you are in office is because you just couldn't hack it in the private sector. You sucked at what you did then and BIG SURPRISE, you suck at what you do now. We, the American public, know that Acme Dildo Co., which you used to run, could only produce big, floppy, soft phallus. And you know the old saying: "when you can't make a dildo that stays hard, then you shouldn't set out to run this fucking country."

Lousy punks. I feel better now. Sorry.

Noah Adds: What the Democrats have demonstrated on their various war votes is a lack of leadership and a severe political cravenness.

After 9/11 President Bush was enormously popular (hard to believe these days) and it would have been extremely difficult politically for the Democrats to go against him in his desire to crush the evil and dangerous regime of Saddam Hussein. So they voted for war. (Though they now claim that they only voted to give Bush the option to go to war, they never really thought he’d do it!)

Now Bush is as popular as a syphilitic serial rapist at a NOW convention. The war is actually more popular than he is, but is still a political loser. So they’ve all jumped ship.

For the Democrats, foreign policy is nothing more than an extension of domestic politics. But that isn’t leadership. F.D.R. did everything he could to help the allies and to prepare the U.S. for war before the country woke up and realized that WWII was our fight as well. That was leadership. The modern Democratic Party is allergic to that sort of thing.

My guess is that a lot of Democrats didn’t believe in the war even when they were voting in favor of it. If I’m right, that means that members of the Democratic Party are willing to send soldiers to their deaths in an unwise and unjust war just to stay in office. It’s hard to imagine anything more immoral or cowardly.

Hillary Clinton has turned in one of the most despicable and hypocritical performances on the issue. She refuses to say that her vote in favor of going to war was a mistake while at the same time she says that the war is a disaster and we have to get the troops out. But if the war is a debacle that has ground up the lives of thousands of troops, maimed thousands more, killed tens of thousands of Iraqis and devoured billions of hard earned American dollars all to no end, how is that not a mistake? But Hillary knows that her trick of doublespeak is her best political play at the moment, so she runs with it.

Sean Adds: Noah, you are correct about the cynical nature of Democratic actions (inaction) on national defense. I had this conversation with TommAy the other night as well. They constantly invoke the name of JFK while simultaneously shitting upon his legacy. There was probably one president in history as willing to use force to thwart the Communist effort, and that was Truman. JFK devoted his entire short political career to confronting the communist threat (Bay of Pigs, Cuban Missile Crisis, invasion of Vietnam, etc.).

The Democrats of today have no interest in the defense of this nation and now some of the weak amongst the Republicans have sensed that Iraq is a political loser and are bailing ship. This disgusts me. If the conservative base can be mobilized to defeat the recent immigration "reform" bill, then the time is now for that same base to bitch-slap the ill-advised concept of voluntary surrender. A plague of Bleggorhea upon both houses.

A Bunch of Crap

Yesterday I received a pin from my company for “two years of service”. The pin was presented in a quick ceremony that involved a lot of forced clapping and insincere hand shaking. What kind of award is a pin commemorating two years of service anyway? It is an award that says two things: A) you are competent enough to not get fired, and B) you are not competent enough to get a better job. Needless to say it went directly into the trash the moment I got back to my office.

Yesterday I also discovered that in contrast to my phony distinction, a certain INFDL has a very real one . . . his own page on IMDB. Look it up.

Have you ever eaten something (at an airport perhaps) and said, “Wow, this is as flavorless as cardboard.” Well, if you live in China it might actually be cardboard.

I’m going to go golfing with TommAy tomorrow. He better plan on a thorough ass kicking.

Sean Says: Noah, I did the search and came up with a few near hits, but nothing direct. And give that TommAy kid a swift kick in the pants for me.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Protein Wisdom in Repose

Whilst perusing my favorite blogs a couple of days ago, I noticed a strange occurrence over at Goldstien's place, which in and of itself doesn't say much, as Goldseins place is usually chock full of strange occurrences. I often arrive there in pursuit of some heady-cheeky psycho-political commentary that is unmatched on the net. This was a bit more than usual though. As the comments unfolded, it became clear what was happening. For the last year or so, Jeff, his wife and young son have been stalked and threatened by a lesbian commie troll named Deb Frisch, a former University of Oregon Psychology teacher, who says unspeakable things, usually of a violent sexual nature about anybody who disagrees with her. To let Jeff G. tell it:

Comment by Jeff G. on 7/11 @ 10:37 am #

I guess I should note that Frisch has recently taking to making “jox”– and posting pictures — of the dead child of a blog commenter on another site.In addition to this, she’s made “jox” about the epileptic wife of another blogger. Something about herbeing “twitchy” — and wondering what it must be like to “hump” or “phuque” her. This is what used to teach children and work as a consultant in decision science for the FBI.Bask in its warmth.

Comment by Jeff G. on 7/11 @ 10:46 am #

And yes, I’ve been dealing with this stuff CONSTANTLY, which has caused me to take time off, lose readers, etc.Early on, I had a lot of support from other bloggers. But lately, not so much. Loss of traffic has meant lost revenue.Not everyone has abandoned me entirely, though. So let me take the time now to say thanks to, among the bigger bloggers, Glenn Reynolds, for continuing to keep me afloat with his shows of support and encouragement.Frisch has once again — with no provocation — stepped up her assault on me, my site, my family and my friends.Which means I am simply going to redouble me efforts to put a stop to it.

Obviously, Frisch is a very sick individual. It's also obvious that if the sexual roles were reversed, Jeff could probably get the clown-ass authorities in Oregon to do something. Who knows, perhaps she's had a floppy installed recently, upgrading her status to male v2.0? As Charles Johnson is fond of saying, "There is a very bad craziness loose in the world."

P.S. I just dropped a twenty on Jeff G. I encourage all others with extra weed money to do so as well.

Update: Jeff gives an update. Good luck, and may you somehow get rich from this shit. Also, from Brian J. in the comments, we here that PW contributer Dan Collins is now being harrassed as well:

Brian J.said...
In addition to restarting her harassment of Jeff she has posted the work information of PW contributor Dan Collins and has started making phone calls and sending E-Mails to his place of employment.This creature has left the bounds of reason and is now traveling in loopy world. It would be sad if she weren't such a vicious little ferret.

Sean said...
Incredible. Any resident INFDL lawyers (you know who you are) care to take a swipe at this one? There must be some kind of recourse.
12:07 PM

Well, Mr. Lawyer pants?

Noah: Yes, there is recourse. It's little known precedent in the common law called "beat her to death with a hammer and make sure the body is never found". I've translated it from the Latin so you laymen can understand it.

Other than that there are always restraining orders.

Update: I think Goldstein has gone the RO route already. And Sinner in the comments has done the Latin thing for you, Noah:

Sinner said...
That would be:pello pepulli pulsum suus ut nex per a pango quod planto certus somes est nunquam instituo

Sinner is also the husband of the the woman who Frisch, in her mastery of lefty-mongoloid sardonic whit, has labeled "twitchy":

Sinner said...
We have been following the antics of Dr. Frisch for a year now. First at DHD and now at Teh Squeaky Wheel

I happen to be the husband of "twitchy".

This bitch be CRAYZAY!

Monday, July 09, 2007

The Prince of Darkness,

better known as Miles Davis, knew exactly what he was saying when he pointed out the brilliance of another Prince, you know, Prince Prince. Aside from the wicked falsetto and ripping licks, who would have thunk it that he would also become the industry's foremost market experimenter? Last week, he up and pissed off the entire music industry again and inked a deal with the Globe and Mail in London to distribute his new album Planet Earth for free with three million Sunday editions.

His record label nixed the conventional distribution of his album in the UK, likely sighting saturation issues when 3 million hard copies hit the street, and Virgin Records, already reeling from shitty sales along with the rest of the industry, blew a testicle over the revelations. The U.K.’s Entertainment Retailers Association co-chairman Paul Quirk (unfortunate name) said:
“The Artist formerly known as Prince should know that with behavior like
this, he will soon be the Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores.”
That sounds an awful lot like a threat, Mr. Quirk. Not the kind of thing you should be saying if your skippering a ship that is going the way of the 8-track. It's very interesting for me to hear an entire industry whine about their entitlement to not only existence, but to absolute control over production and distribution of a product. A good parallel might be the anger surely caused to compass makers once GPS was privatized. Of course that argument was probably short, as the usefulness of the new technology became clear to everybody.

This isn't the first time Prince has smeared poop on the walls of the record industry. In the Warner Brothers dispute years (Artist Formerly Known as , etc), he released multiple albums on the internet only, a completely unheard of concept at the time, and banked gazzillions of bux. In fact, he makes more now than he ever did in his "big years" of '82-'86, officially becoming the top industry earner in 2004. And it probably wont be the last revolutionary business move for the fem-funk prince. All hail the King! Besides, any body heard of Michael Jackson lately without it being a setup for a boy-ass joke?

Update: Wired has it right.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Toby Kieth and Ricardo Montebon agree...

That this country is a pretty damned cool place to be...Wow, that was like some nightmarishly bad white Hip-Hop right there. Not any worse than Kid Rock or say, Snow (who, of course, is a Kannuck) mind you, but pitiful none the less.

I also think that Kerry King might agree, between serenades to dead bodies, as well. Come to think of it, so might conservative talk radio host Alice Cooper. Zack De La Rocha, not so much. I'll leave that self-conscious revolutionary as the only hater I mention today as it is not very difficult to find haters of us in the world right now. Really, I just saw a guy outside of my window who bares more than a passing resemblance to De La Rocha, Bob Marley wannabe all, and I decided to just type it. That charlatan and Tom Morrelo squeezed as much life as humanly possible out of that one riff (you know the one) with only slight variations. Don't get me wrong, that one riff was wicked bad-ass, but there's only so much you can do with the afore mentioned one riff, trouncing about being Marxist revolutionaries, while at the same time being masters of hyper-capitalism, replete with full-line merchandising, marketing campaigns and millions of bux. The only thing separating them from N'Sinc was that Rage failed to make a Happy Meal box. That is also to say nothing of Zach's simplistic lyrical flow and unpleasing nasal delivery. Morello is the real tragedy here, as he has no excuse for not being "the great modern guitarist". RAGE, YOUR DEAD TO ME!

But I digress: Gary Oldman is a non-American who might dig this place a bit. So is Christopher Hitchens. In fact, despite his overall crappy domestic policy, Tony Blair has been a pimp for us evil Americans for some time. And god help Britain without him, judging by the early performance of his successor.

Me? I'd be dishonest if I didn't declare myself among those who vilified this incredible country until about 10:30 Am on 9/11/01. This is the way things shook down for me: it took the proletariat only about three days to form its preferred narrative, which we are all familiar with, and it caused a deep gagging reaction within my belly. I knew what they said was an outright lie and that caused me to do an internal review of almost all the information I had digested as an adult. The ultimate irony became clear: here I was, a relatively coddled clown who had lived an overall easy life with all the opportunity in the world before me, could only blame America for the "cruelty" of life.

It's clear to me, after my sixth year of patriotism, that I was dead wrong on all that. In reality America is the birthplace of all the pet projects I had latched on to. The conservation movement? Check. Civil rights? Check. Jazz music? Check. The A Team? Check. And I can't wait to see what else we come up with.

Update: Hitchens is a recent citizen. Welcome aboard, you cheeky patriot.

Monday, July 02, 2007

London Bridge is Burning

But pay no attention...Er.. This is obviously a plot to distract the public form GWB's refusal to sign the Kyoto protocol. Blah, slurp, Halliburton, blah...

Charles Johnson has a good series on the interconnected London bombings from last week. One thing I'd like to point out is that these bombings are incredibly crude. Anybody else out there think that Al Qaida is enjoying some much deserved opporational disaray? Propane bombs? Bush-league.

Big Love, son

Finally broke down and watched the first season of HBO's Big Love . My prognosis: fantastic television. And I mean fantastic, as in a lot of fantasy. To their credit, they must have some Utahrds on the production and writing crew as there is a whole lot of true Utahism going on in the series beyond the obvious "heck, gosh, goll", etc.

The main accuracy issue is probably due to the need to create "proximity" in the show. An example: "Roman", the series obvious Warren/Rulon Jeffs character is shown getting medical check-ups in what appears to be his building in downtown Salt Lake. That building is the Joseph Smith Memorial building. We all know that if Warren Jeffs was seen in the JSM building, he'd be immediately arrested and sent to the big house with no tasty muffins. The show is flush with many other inaccuracies, but surprisingly many spot-on recreations of suburban Utah life, mixed with the usual HBO-bizarro flourishes. And they handle the separation between the LDS faith and the Polygs very thoroughly.

Back here in reality, the Salt Lake Tribune has an interesting real-life Big Love multi-media from some unspoken (cough, Herriman, cough) locale in Salt Lake County. In all, polygamy looks like a major pain in the ass.

Oh, the tedium

This post may or may not be readable to the INFDL minion. It's basically an on-line high school level debate that took place in the Salt Lake Tribunes' comments section for this piece about the Topaz interment camp north of Delta, where Japanese Americans were held during WW2. The dude calls himself Roross (Rocky???). He and I go back and forth for way too long and it is basically a rehash of the conversations we've all had a tragabazillion times since the invasion of Iraq. Here it is.