Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The End isn't Nigh

Relax, according to Sir Isaac Newton the world won't end until at least 2060, and I, for one, plan to be dead by then.

TommAy: if there is such a code in the Bible that reveals a date that the world can have one last awesome rave in the desert before departure, like the one in Matrix 2, then Newton had the best chance at figuring it out. This guy's brain was even bigger than George Patton's old grizzled balls (and this fact in no way diminishes the size of Mr. Warface's stones). He is the greatest scientist, and mind, the world has ever known; the dude had to invent calculus to properly explain the kinds of things that were going on in his head; things such as, oh, you know, the usual bullshit: gravitation, planetary motion, force laws, energy relations, angular momentum, etc.--basically the system of the world. Physics up until the early twentieth century was all based on his theories, until quantum was discovered. However, quantum theory is empirical, and has had it's detractors, Einstein among them. But Newtonian physics is unarguable and non-negotiable. However, as for 2060, I can't be certain about anything. I mean, since people such as Bruce Willis, who is in his fifties now and still out there swingin his bat, are consistently raising the age limit of "hip" and "cool" and "hey dawg you gonna pass me that joint or am I gonna have to get gangsta", then I, at 84 years young, might still have some hustle left in me. So here's hoping Newton's abacus was whack.

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