Saturday, June 30, 2007

Motorcycles as far as the eye could see

As I was heading to a meeting at about 8:30am yesterday, I pulled onto I-15 southbound just as a sea of cop motorcycles, in perfect formation, passed in the two left lanes. Must have been a hundred of them. It took me a second to realize what was going on. It put a lump in my throat. God bless that guy. Fuck Allgier.

Now, I have done my fair share of bitching and moaning about the heavy hand of the law in all its manifestations. I have even been known to blast any one of the many Hip-Hop or Speed-metal anthems devoted to non-love of those in uniform. But, one look at the picture of his grandchildren kissing his coffin brings it all home. I'm eternally grateful for the guys who do that work as I surely couldn't. I'm way too big a clown-assed sissy.

As for Allgier, after they gas his ass, it would be great if the state could arrange a room in hell where he'd be forced to watch the Jeffersons for eternity while Red Fox berates him to a Notorious B.I.G. beat. Or perhaps treat him to some eternaly-blaring Mexican Polka whilst forced to view Univision with the whole affair presided over by Charo...Or is it Che? Damned if I can't keep those two straight.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fairness is toast

The house just knocked it out of the park. Good.

Something's Off

I’m off to Northern California tomorrow so it may be a while before I write again. I’d say hi to the Clubby Duck for you all but he was killed by the moss monster a long time ago. I will, however, check up on the seal that Monz suckled at his bounteous teat. I'm sure he'll be easy to spot because his coat will have the milkiest sheen in the sea.

Sean Says: Have fun Noah. I'll try my damnedest to not get us arrested till you come back. Truly one of the coolest places on Earth, that Gualala. I know that Monz will always be a better mother because of that intimate moment with the baby seal. As will I. It's sad to hear that the Clubby Duck has gone to swim with the fishes.

Common Sense from the Roberts Court

"The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discrimination on the basis of race."

The court votes to end discrimination in public schools. Now, if they would only do the same thing at the University level . . .

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

What’s Fair about That?

Democrats want to censor conservatives and call it “fairness”. This is leftist double-speak at its finest.

If we’re going to bring back the “Fairness” Doctrine why single out one form of media? Why not all of them? We should force the New York Times to give half its column inches to conservatives. We should make the Daily Kos give half its space to us INFDLs. We should fire half of the academics working in our universities and replace them with the conservative radio personalities who are going to be out of a job.

Come on, if we’re going to be fair, let’s be fair.

Sean adds: Yeah it's pretty inconceivable that they're even talking about this in this day and age. The shoddy "logic" seems to be that since the airwaves are publicly licenced, the government has the right to dictate "fairness". I even think there was a Supreme Court decision in favor of it in the sixties. If I can dig it up, I'll link to it. It truly is a remnant of the original "progressive" movement, which also opposed the teaching of evolution in schools.

Look on the bright side, presumably you'd see Victor Davis Hansen and Christopher Hitchens team up against Ben Afleck and Carrot Top on that Bill Maher shit-swirl of a show.

Viva la (cough) Revolution! (sluuuuurp)

Dude, Rocky Anderson is like sooooo revolutionary. He's like Salt Lake's Charo or something:

We have many more enemies bent on our destruction than before our invasion of Iraq. And the hatred toward us has grown to the point that it will take many years, perhaps generations, to overcome the loathing created by our invasion and occupation of a Muslim country.
You see, we are more hated now because of our invasion of Iraq. Why, we were absolutely adored before that clown took office (Bush, not Rocky). That whole 9/11 affair, the Marine barracks in Beiruit, the USS Cole, and the African embassy bombings were simply love-hugs from our Salafi/Wahabi pals. Mas:

President Bush himself finally admitted nine days ago during a press conference that there was no connection between the attacks on 9/11 and Iraq. It’s terrific that the President has now admitted what others have known for so long – but where is the accountability for the tragic war we were led into on the basis of his earlier misrepresentations?

The truth has been established. Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks on the United States. There is no evidence of any operational ties between Iraq and al Qaeda.

Damned Bush and his claims of Saddam's culpability in 9/11. There he was, like, running around with a bull-horn sayin Saddam piloted the first plane and shit. And while we're at it, why the hell would Amerikkka attack Europe and Northern Africa while we were obviously attacked by Japan at Pearl Harbor? I demand FDR answer this question: why did we attack Germany when they didn't attack Pearl Harbor man? And prove to me, Mr. Bush, that while Zarqawi was in Iraq as early as 2001, that he wasn't really there to perform humanitarian work, or perhaps enjoy some nice Kurdish tabouli?

No more inaction on stopping the genocide in the Darfur region of. No more of the Patriot Act. No more killing. No more pre-emptive wars.
That's right, Bush. I want a stop to the Sudanese genocide, but with no killing. So yeah, I want war with no war. And I wanted you to do nothing about multiple biblical-scale Iraqi genocides. You see how simple it all is? It's called nuance. And your name is slang for pussy. I know because I saw it on a bumper sticker at Wild Oats.

Heh, caugh, heh, sluuuuuurp..

Noah Adds: Saying that Bush misled the country into believing that Saddam was behind 9/11 is bogus. Bush never made such a claim. What he did say was that Saddam supported terrorism (which he indisputably did), that he had broken the terms of the Gulf War ceasefire, that he was terrorizing the Shiites and the Kurds in his own country, that he was trying to obtain weapons of mass destruction (which he was, despite all the Joe Wilson nonsense), that he was obstructing arms inspectors, and that replacing despots with democracies would, in the long run, act as an anti-terrorist stabilizing force.

It has been well established (read the Looming Tower) that Iraqi intelligence officers met with Al Qaeda and invited them to operate out of Iraq. Attacking Iraq was designed to deny the terrorists the opportunity to use the country as a base to attack the west.

We didn't attack Iraq in order to get revenge for 9/11, we attacked in order to prevent another 9/11.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A New Chance for Glory

From Yahoo News:

A Japanese man who set a world record by wolfing down dozens of hot dogs (53 dogs to be exact) within minutes has suffered a severe jaw injury due to his rigorous training, making his next title uncertain.

We have suffered national humiliation at the hands of this skinny Japanese guy for too long. Again and again we have sent our most enormous fatties after him and he has destroyed them all. Now, it looks like he will be out of the picture and for the first time in years this country has the chance to be #1 again. Glory awaits!

Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi said he can only open his mouth to make a gap the size of a fingertip after being diagnosed with jaw arthritis.

Still, it's sad to see such a tremendous athlete end his career like this. I wonder if there's some kind of Tommy John surgery for your jaw?

Sean says: If the competition was for, say, Churos, I would obliterate that Japenese dude. Or maybe Beef Meximelts.

23 Days Later

Am I the only person in the world who thinks that 23 days for driving on a suspended license is a little excessive and that if she hadn't been a (much hated) celebrity Paris Hilton would have probably gotten a lighter sentence?

Monday, June 25, 2007

That's Some Crappy Property You've Got there Jolene

How far did this douche-bag fugitive from justice think he was going to get with a face like this? Dumb ass.

My favorite of all his facial tattoos is the one arching across the forehead. There amid all the swastikas, racist symbols, and the phrase “Skin Head” you see the words “Property of Jolene”. It’s a demonstration of his cute, sweet, loving side. I’d like to see what this “Jolene” looks like. I’m guessing she’s some kind of truck stop hooker.

He reminds me of what Todd Barry says to people he sees with neck tattoos, “hey man, you forgot to not do that . . .”

Gore the Scientist

From the Independent:

In an extraordinary outburst aimed at America's failure to tackle global warming, Al Gore says that if scientific agreement on the climate crisis had been reached sooner it would have been easier to "galvanise the public and persuade Congress to act".

So, scientists should ignore the scientific method and run with half baked theories in order to “galvanize the public” to act on “problems” that they haven’t proven to be problems yet? Is that reasonable? As soon as they get the word from Gore scientists have to immediately pronounce it as scientific fact?

The failed presidential candidate claims that the stronger scientific consensus he knew was about to emerge meant "we in the US were about to shift into high gear in addressing the climate crisis". Mr Gore argues that if he had made it to the White House, he would have been able to use the office as a "bully pulpit" to achieve change.

So, it’s the president’s job to hector scientists until they agree with his position? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? This guy wrote a book called “The Assault on Reason?”

The point of no return will be reached within 10 years, the former vice president says, and we cannot wait any longer to solve the crisis. He blames a focus on instant gratification for the "exclusion of long-term consequences in our decisions and policies" and writes about his "mission of solving the climate crisis". His Oscar-winning documentary on climate change, An Inconvenient Truth, became the surprise box-office hit of 2006.

Isn’t Gore, a man with the carbon footprint of Godzilla, too embarrassed to bitch about our instant gratification society? He flies all over the place, he lives in a home that uses twenty times more energy than the average American’s, and yet he lectures us. The hypocrisy is nauseating.

Mr Gore claims that concerns over the environment formed his "principal agenda for eight years in the White House".

Ok, he spent all that time, eight years, working on this issue. What did he accomplish?

During his tenure as vice president, America's carbon dioxide emissions shot up far faster than at any time in modern history - by 15 per cent, compared to just 1.65 per cent during President Bush's first term

And he wants to be elected president (or so rumors say) based on his record with the environment? Wow.

Sean adds: I blame Global War-mongering/warmening for my burnt-to-a-crisp legs! That damned sun is getting hotter! Let's protest the weather!


Sean just left Nevada, and Lake Tahoe is on fire . . . hmm. This reminds me of the time he smacked a golf ball through that guy’s window across the street from Randy’s house. Just wondering aloud . . .

Trivia Question: What famous writer once started an enormous forest fire at Lake Tahoe? Bonus point if you get the book where he talks about it.

Sean says: I in no way was involved with the fire. The only fire I started in Nevada is in my pants. No really, my legs are fryed. I think I'll die of skin cancer before I finish responding to....

Trivia Question Answer: Not that anyone cares, but Mark Twain started a forest fire at Lake Tahoe a long, long, long time ago. You can read about it in Roughing It, his hilarious book about traveling in the western United States.

Back from the wasteland

Nevada is my favorite state. No, really. Just got back from a week in the place known to many as "that brown skid-mark that lasts for four hundred miles until you hit Tahoe". No, I didn't get a whore or get assaulted by a giant tranny in Deeth, but I did really burn my legs while kayaking/fishing on Ruby Lake. It feels and looks like they were dipped in molten Habanero sauce. Good night.

P.S. Once, my friend and I were in Carlin getting gas when he got punched in the face by an angry biker five times in rapid fashion until I could get the window rolled up. He thought he had thrown away a half-consumed can of Red Bull, but had instead thrown it at the side of an RV pulling ten Harleys. Yes, he was drunk...Ah, the mystique of the place.

Friday, June 22, 2007

From the Gut

Greg Gutfeld has the perfect answer for people who believe in 9/11 conspiracies:

When someone says that 9/11 was an inside job, I reply, "well, that's what the Jews want you to think," and walk away.

That'll get 'em thinking.

You can substitute Dick Cheney or Carl Rove for "Jews" if you want.

Having None of It

Remember when the Iranians kidnapped all those sailors from the Royal Navy? Well, apparently they tried to do it to the Australians first, but it didn’t go quite as well. The following story from the BBC is making its rounds on Australian blogs:

When Iranian Revolutionary Guards captured the British sailors and Royal Marines in March, it was not exactly their first attempt.

It turns out that Iranian forces made an earlier concerted attempt to seize a boarding party from the Royal Australian Navy.

The Australians, though, to quote one military source, "were having none of it".

The BBC has been told the Australians re-boarded the vessel they had just searched, aimed their machine guns at the approaching Iranians and warned them to back off, using what was said to be "highly colourful language".

The Iranians withdrew. . .

The British Sailors and Marines humiliated themselves and their country (though most of them didn’t seem nearly as embarrassed as they should have been). All they had to do was point their guns in the right direction and spout a few dirty words and the Iranians would have backed off.

(Via patriotic Australian, Tim Blair)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Singin’ in the Rain is the Fifth Best Movie of All Time?

AFI announced its new list of the 100 greatest movies of all time yesterday. I don’t know why I should care, but these lists always get my goat. Singin’ in the Rain was ranked fifth. Don’t get me wrong, I like the movie (even though I hate most musicals). I liked it a lot, but is it really the fifth best movie of all time?

Here’s the top 100 According to AFI:

1. "Citizen Kane," 1941. (Overrated)
2. "The Godfather," 1972. (Should be #1)
3. "Casablanca," 1942. (Three is about right)
4. "Raging Bull," 1980. (Overrated)
5. "Singin' in the Rain," 1952. (Hugely Overrated)
6. "Gone With the Wind," 1939. (I want to punch Scarlett O’Hare in the face)
7. "Lawrence of Arabia," 1962. (This movie is SOOOOOO boring)
8. "Schindler's List," 1993. (Somehow, I’ve never seen this one)
9. "Vertigo," 1958. (Number 9? Have you lost your mind?)
10. "The Wizard of Oz," 1939. (It’s crap)
11. "City Lights," 1931. (overrated)
12. "The Searchers," 1956. (Way overrated)
13. "Star Wars," 1977. (Right on)
14. "Psycho," 1960. (Right on)
15. "2001: A Space Odyssey," 1968. (I think for a movie to be #15 it has to have an ending that makes sense)
16. "Sunset Blvd.", 1950. (Right on)
17. "The Graduate," 1967. (Overrated)
18. "The General," 1927. (Overrated)
19. "On the Waterfront," 1954. (Woefully underrated. This movie is easily one of the three greatest of all time)
20. "It's a Wonderful Life," 1946. (What can I say, despite the schmaltz, I love this movie)
21. "Chinatown," 1974. (Overrated)
22. "Some Like It Hot," 1959. (Fat Marilyn Monroe and not that funny, overrated)
23. "The Grapes of Wrath," 1940. (overrated)
24. "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," 1982. (crap)
25. "To Kill a Mockingbird," 1962. (Right on)
26. "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," 1939. (About right)
27. "High Noon," 1952. (Underrated)
28. "All About Eve," 1950. (Crap)
29. "Double Indemnity," 1944. (This movie is awesome)
30. "Apocalypse Now," 1979. (Somehow, I have never seen this)
31. "The Maltese Falcon," 1941. (Should be top ten)
32. "The Godfather Part II," 1974. (About right)
33. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," 1975. (Never seen it)
34. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," 1937. (overrated)
35. "Annie Hall," 1977. (Top ten)
36. "The Bridge on the River Kwai," 1957. (about right)
37. "The Best Years of Our Lives," 1946. (About right)
38. "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," 1948. (I loved it, but 38 seems a bit much)
39. "Dr. Strangelove," 1964. (Top twenty at least)
40. "The Sound of Music," 1965. (Crap)
41. "King Kong," 1933. (Crap)
42. "Bonnie and Clyde," 1967. (overrated)
43. "Midnight Cowboy," 1969. (crap)
44. "The Philadelphia Story," 1940. (Waaay, overrated)
45. "Shane," 1953. (Overrated)
46. "It Happened One Night," 1934. (Top Twenty)
47. "A Streetcar Named Desire," 1951. (Never seen it)
48. "Rear Window," 1954. (about right)
49. "Intolerance," 1916. (Never seen it)
50. "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," 2001. (Underrated)
51. "West Side Story," 1961. (Crap)
52. "Taxi Driver," 1976. (about right)
53. "The Deer Hunter," 1978. (Never seen it)
54. "M-A-S-H," 1970. (overrated)
55. "North by Northwest," 1959. (This movie has not aged well)
56. "Jaws," 1975. (Underrated)
57. "Rocky," 1976. (Underrated)
58. "The Gold Rush," 1925. (Overrated)
59. "Nashville," 1975. (Never seen it)
60. "Duck Soup," 1933. (Marx Bro’s Best, Top 20)
61. "Sullivan's Travels," 1941. (Underrated. This movie is worth it for Veronica Lake alone)
62. "American Graffiti," 1973. (Overrated)
63. "Cabaret," 1972. (I haven’t seen it, but I think it is safe to assume this movie is crap)
64. "Network," 1976. (Underrated)
65. "The African Queen," 1951. (65 is about right)
66. "Raiders of the Lost Ark," 1981. (about right here too)
67. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", 1966. (Never seen it)
68. "Unforgiven," 1992. (Overrated)
69. "Tootsie," 1982. (overrated)
70. "A Clockwork Orange," 1971. (Overrated)
71. "Saving Private Ryan," 1998. (About right)
72. "The Shawshank Redemption," 1994. (TOP 10)
73. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," 1969. (About right)
74. "The Silence of the Lambs," 1991. (Never seen it)
75. "In the Heat of the Night," 1967. (Overrated)
76. "Forrest Gump," 1994. (Waaaaaay overrated)
77. "All the President's Men," 1976. (Waaaay overrated)
78. "Modern Times," 1936. (My favorite (mostly) silent movie. Underrated)
79. "The Wild Bunch," 1969. (Never seen it)
80. "The Apartment, 1960. (underrated)
81. "Spartacus," 1960. (about right)
82. "Sunrise," 1927. (Never seen it)
83. "Titanic," 1997. (Crap)
84. "Easy Rider," 1969. (Crap)
85. "A Night at the Opera," 1935. (I love it, but it shouldn’t be on the list)
86. "Platoon," 1986. (Crap)
87. "12 Angry Men," 1957. (Solid, but not top 100)
88. "Bringing Up Baby," 1938. (#88? Are you out of your mind?)
89. "The Sixth Sense," 1999. (Underrated)
90. "Swing Time," 1936. (Never seen it)
91. "Sophie's Choice," 1982. (Never seen it)
92. "Goodfellas," 1990. (About right)
93. "The French Connection," 1971. (About right)
94. "Pulp Fiction," 1994. (Underrated)
95. "The Last Picture Show," 1971. (Never seen it)
96. "Do the Right Thing," 1989. (Never seen it)
97. "Blade Runner," 1982. (about right)
98. "Yankee Doodle Dandy," 1942. (Never seen it, but I suspect it’s crap)
99. "Toy Story," 1995. (Come on! The Incredibles is much better)
100. "Ben-Hur," 1959. (Overrated)

And for that matter, where’s The Third Man, L.A. Confidential, Fargo, the Matrix, and The Big Lebowski? Why are there so few comedies?

I say Baaah, to the entire list.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Save the World, Buy a Hummer

Drudge links to an interesting article by a Canadian scientist who studies sunspot cycles:

Solar scientists predict that, by 2020, the sun will be starting into its weakest Schwabe solar cycle of the past two centuries, likely leading to unusually cool conditions on Earth. Beginning to plan for adaptation to such a cool period, one which may continue well beyond one 11-year cycle, as did the Little Ice Age, should be a priority for governments. It is global cooling, not warming, that is the major climate threat to the world . . .

Climate change is a normal process on this planet. Most of North America was once covered with glaciers and may someday be covered with glaciers again. So run your air conditioning full blast, take that vacation on a private jet, and trade in your Prius for a gas guzzling Hummer. If you want to save the Earth you’ve got to get as much greenhouse gas out there as possible.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The End isn't Nigh

Relax, according to Sir Isaac Newton the world won't end until at least 2060, and I, for one, plan to be dead by then.

TommAy: if there is such a code in the Bible that reveals a date that the world can have one last awesome rave in the desert before departure, like the one in Matrix 2, then Newton had the best chance at figuring it out. This guy's brain was even bigger than George Patton's old grizzled balls (and this fact in no way diminishes the size of Mr. Warface's stones). He is the greatest scientist, and mind, the world has ever known; the dude had to invent calculus to properly explain the kinds of things that were going on in his head; things such as, oh, you know, the usual bullshit: gravitation, planetary motion, force laws, energy relations, angular momentum, etc.--basically the system of the world. Physics up until the early twentieth century was all based on his theories, until quantum was discovered. However, quantum theory is empirical, and has had it's detractors, Einstein among them. But Newtonian physics is unarguable and non-negotiable. However, as for 2060, I can't be certain about anything. I mean, since people such as Bruce Willis, who is in his fifties now and still out there swingin his bat, are consistently raising the age limit of "hip" and "cool" and "hey dawg you gonna pass me that joint or am I gonna have to get gangsta", then I, at 84 years young, might still have some hustle left in me. So here's hoping Newton's abacus was whack.

Monday, June 18, 2007

More on Jason McVean

From CNN

Sean Adds: Yeah. Looks like he offed himself. I hope he gets pumped by Chomsky in hell.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Give me back my half ounce!

You know, sometimes I fell I've been robbed. (Sorry).

Noah: Who would volunteer to have someone poke their wiener until they found the most sensitive parts? And was there any possibility of suffering a cold spoon moment?

And there are people out there advocating "foreskin restoration"? How would you do that? Could I get the foreskin of some organ donor attached to my manhood? That would mean that another man was touching my wiener. Would that make me gay? The ethical implications of all this are mind boggling.

Friday, June 15, 2007

The "Peace, Justice, Equality, International, Understanding, United, People" Game

Really fun Google treasure hunt. Try it next family home evening. I call it "Orwell's Doublespeak" and it's very simple. The rules follow:
Take any of the following words:

Peace, Justice, Equality, Rights, International, Understanding, Human, United, People, Women

1) Enter any combination of at least two of the above terms into a Google search page. Scramble them in any way your heart desires.

2) Push enter.

3) Starting at the top of the page, click on the returned search results. Work your way down until your ears melt from the irony of it all.

4) Slam two beers and punch your screen.

Now wasn't that fun? Be sure to note with your children the absolute hatred dripping from each individual site. Also point out the patronizingly racist nature of the writings, the advocacy and apology for the slaughter of Jews, the excusing of the subjugation of women and homosexuals, the opposition to private property rights and self-defense....I need a beer.

Pies and Radio Personalities

Is it just me, or is the San Francisco Chronicle egging people on to throw pies at Dennis Miller?

I didn’t know Miller was starting a radio show. I heard him fill in for another radio host a few years ago and he did a great job. But it takes a special kind of person to do three hours of radio five days a week and keep things interesting. I wish him well.

The master of talk radio is coming back by the way. The new Phil Hendrie Show starts on June 25th. I have no idea how one might listen to it.

Sean adds: I've listened to a few Miller shows on 1430 Am (local SLC, Utah) and he's pretty damned good. He had some clown-assed Dem Senator (don't remember his good name) on arguing for voluntary unilateral self-imposed defeat in Iraq and Miller nearly made him cry.

And I can't wait for Hendrie! I think he was at his finest while giving unabashed opinion interspersed with his usual dark arts from 9/11 until about '04. I read an interview where he stated that he ran up against a lot of resistance because of his views and was forced to edit himself back into the prankster that everyone was comfortable with. I hope somebody in Utah is smart enough to snatch up his show.

Sean adds again: Hey he's got a blog! And it's really profane! God bless this man...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

As an occasional puffer...

I can relate to these sentiments. Lileks is untouchable:

So there's the sermon for the day: Put your butts in a little tin, and swallow your gum. Or wad up the butts in your gum, and feed it to the geese. It’ll choke ‘em. I hate those birds.

Noah Adds: I agree with the comments on butts, gum and geese. A few butts in the gutter don't really bother me, but what does bother me is seeing people toss glowing cigarettes out their car windows towards the dry brush. Unless there are geese in the brush, that is. I've had puts stop dead in their tracks by hitting piles of goose poop.

Feelin' the Blues for ol Red White and Blue?

I now give you this. Now go be a good American.

Rethinking Illegal Immigration

All the recent debate about illegal immigrants has failed to answer one vital question: where can I get some?

I’m moving Saturday, my brothers are lazy, my fellow INFDL’s all live in distant cities . . . so who can help me move? The natural answer is “illegal immigrants”. The problem is that I can’t find any for love or money.

When I lived in California all you had to do was go out to the Home Depot or U-Haul and there were always tons of day laborers. Even here in Provo you used to be able to find a small group of them huddled near Will’s Pit Stop. But they’re all gone.

I’ve been told that it’s because the job market in Provo is so hot that all the illegals have regular nine to fives and none of them have to resort to day labor anymore.

This is a tragedy. I look at my absurdly heavy television and shudder. I wonder if there are enough good shows to justify moving it. Unfortunately there are. The Sopranos may over but we still have the Office, 30 Rock, Conan, Little Britain, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Heroes, Rescue Me, Flight of the Conchords, and Entourage. Damn it, I’ll have to bring the TV with me.

Wyatt helped me move it in, but he didn’t seem to enjoy it and he’ll probably be in hiding on Saturday.

I’ve long been a strong opponent of illegal immigration, but now that the lack of illegal immigrants is about to lead to a severe spinal cord injury I will have to rethink this position.

I have found myself mournfully humming the song “Deportee” by the Highway Men.

(If you haven't seen it yet, go to HBO's Flight of the Conchords Page and watch the first episode. HILARIOUS!)

Sean says: Noah, I am sorry you couldn't find a little help when you needed it. Our immigration policy has failed you. Wyatt deserves a burrito and some horchada for his hard work with your television.

I do have to say that if we really enforced our laws, we would no longer have any good food in America. Really, all the really good cooks from Mexico are in Utah right now...Stewing delicious goat with mole. MMmmmmm. And I can't imagine my life without the taco stand at the corner of North Temple and 900 West. Or for that matter any one of the finest restaurants in the state.

Therein lies the truth about the current state of affairs: nobody in Washington or America wants to lose their favorite restaurants. For from fine-dining down to the corner stands, everybody in this country knows the act: wondering how good a place is to eat? Peak in the kitchen. No Mexicans? Run.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Peace in Palestine

The way things are going we may soon have a resolution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict: all the Palestinians will be dead. They’ve become too lazy to go out looking for Jews to kill, so they stay at home and kill each other.

From CNN:

Fatah and Hamas supporters have been tossed to their deaths from high-rise buildings; three family members were fatally shot -- one at close range -- while receiving treatment in a Beit Hanoun hospital; and Palestinian militants have been accused of disguising themselves as journalists to launch attacks.

Such instances prompted Human Rights Watch to issue a statement Wednesday accusing militants of "serious violations of international humanitarian law, in some cases amounting to war crimes."

Does Human Rights Watch really think that the kind of guy who tosses a man off the top of a high-rise is the kind of guy who gives crap about what Human Rights Watch thinks?

Sean adds:

Sound a lot like a favorite activity for Baathists as well from the days of Saddam. It's called a "Farook Toss".

"Really well thought-out massively useless waste of time" art

But it's also strangely cool. I'm still waiting for a steam-powered Blackberry.

Renewable energy?

Only if we find some decent damned batteries.

For all the talk of wind and solar power, the one issue usually glossed over is that both technologies are inseparable from a certain 18th-century invention called "Lead Acid" batteries. You know the type: heavy, temperamental, dangerous (no I'm not talking about Rosie O'Dykepants). Seriously, the use of these emerging technologies, to go along with electric and hybrid cars, has literally stalled out in anticipation of any real solution to the lead-acid problem.

That's where recent materials advances have started to make some headway in our search for efficient electrical energy storage. Sometimes technologies await complimentary technologies for their true potential to be reached. Amongst the contenders are a plethora of emerging technologies from ultra capacitors and metal hydride storage to large scale lithium-ion and lithium-polymer. All, if brought to market at reasonable prices, would be game-changers for sure.

But another school of thought within the renewable-energy debate is to avoid "game-changing" ideas all together, focusing on achievable improvements to existing technologies rather than Earth-shattering revolutions. The idea is that Earth-shattering revolutions are expensive, prone to hyperbole and rarely achieve expectations because they are usually Earth-shatteringly impractical to bring to market. Many require entirely new infrastructures and manufacturing processes. Take hydrogen: unless we can invent on-board conversion technology, where an existing fuel like natural gas can be converted to hydrogen on the spot, the delivery of pure hydrogen will require thousands of new hydrogen delivery stations and some ingenious safe hydrogen storage medium. Many of these issues are being addressed as we speak, but they are likely decades away.

So I like the approach that companies, like Firefly Energy --a spin-off of Caterpillar, are doing: bringing forth improvements in technology that will not require us to hang out in silver space-suits to enjoy. Their technology may be able to reduce the size and weight of lead-acid batteries by a factor of five, which would bring about a massive advance in all of the previously mentioned technologies. And they will have done it without billions in subsidies and the always-attached strings that come along with government scratch. They will also use existing battery factories to make their product. Sure, they may score a military contract or two, but their approach underscores how innovation should be done: market-improvement ideas brought about by real market need. And no, their batteries wont feed the poor.

Update: They do have some government-backed loans and tax breaks rolling through. What's funny is that many people on the left and right still believe it's some sort of government hand-out to let people not pay taxes or reduce their burden somewhat.

Strange things are afoot in West Valley

One more thing (along with Tongan rape) to be afraid of in West valley, Utah:

Leafy greens will never be the same

I can't wait to see what he does with "Pop-corns":

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

An interesting conversation with Noah about Africa

A few days ago, I sent out this Email:

Really interesting conversation on some very complex African problems:,1518,363663,00.html

-- Sean

To which Noah replied:


The problem is that people would rather not think. They just want to feel like virtuous folks who are “doing something”. No one gives a crap about African farmers who get screwed. Can you imagine if the Chinese just started shipping a gazillion tons of free grain to the U.S.? Our farmers would shit a brick. They don’t even like it when we don’t slap huge tariffs on incoming produce. But we screw over African farmers all the time. Paul Theroux’s newest book about Africa (Dark Star Safari) talks about a lot of this same stuff. I doubt the West will change its behavior towards Africa in our lifetime though, and the longer we wait to cut off aid (or find a smarter way to give it, like providing more small loans to farms and small businesses) the worse the situation is going to get.

Maybe we need to start the blog back up . .

And Here we are....

Blowing the dust off the old Evinrude

Just though I'd say hello to the INFDL minion (all four of em). We are in bidness again!