Friday, September 30, 2005

True Things You Are Not Allowed to Say

A few days after the catastrophe of 9/11 Bill Maher made a comment to the effect that the terrorists who hijacked the planes were courageous and that American responses to terrorism in the past (such as launching cruise missiles into the Sudan) were cowardly. No reasonable person could possibly argue that this wasn’t true. At the time outraged Americans were insisting that the terrorists were cowards, but this charge made no sense. They gave their lives for their cause, what could be more courageous than that?

The worst evils in this world are those perpetrated by people who have a combination of virtues and evil. The Nazis are an example of this. They were smart, hardworking, efficient and enormously courageous. If they hadn’t had these virtues their evil would not have caused destruction on such a wide scale. So, let’s give the terrorists their due. They are evil, but they are also courageous (thank goodness they don’t have the other Nazi virtues).

But there are some things you just can’t say. The day after Maher made his remarks I found myself thinking “he’s right, but what the hell was he thinking when he said that!” I knew he would soon be out of a job (which was good because he is the least funny person on television).

Now Bill Bennett has said something that is also indisputably true. Here it is: “If you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossibly ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down.”

No honest person can argue that this is not true. It is a well known fact that black people commit a hugely disproportionate number of this country’s crimes. If all black babies were aborted the crime rate would plummet.

The economist Steven Levitt has argued that the dramatic reduction in crime which occurred in the 1990’s was largely the effect of Roe v. Wade. Many children who would have been raised in the sort of households that produce criminals were not raised at all. These children would have reached their prime criminal years in the 1990’s. But they had all been killed before that. This is the kind of discovery that neither liberals nor conservatives want to exploit. Liberals don’t want to want to talk about it because they would be calling their constituency criminal and conservatives don’t like it because it sounds like an argument in favor of abortion.

There are some things you simply cannot say, no matter how obviously true they are. Nancy Pelosi wants Bush to condemn Bennett’s remarks, but why should the President condemn every injudicious remark made by a conservative? Especially when it is clearly true?

Harry Reid says he hopes the Republicans “will be swift in condemning Mr. Bennett's comments as nothing short of callous and ignorant.” Bennett’s words may be callous, but it is Reid who is being willfully ignorant.

A person shouldn’t be condemned for telling the truth, no matter how ugly that truth is.

Tom sayz: do you mean to tell me that it's understandable to admit that Saddam Hussein, despite his cruel and vicious gangster past, is a ruggedly handsome man?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Tender is the Loin

I’ve posted Chapter 4 of On the Bum. In this chapter Andy becomes the victim of a level five crotch chafe (those who have hiked Robber’s Roost are familiar with this ailment) and someone takes him up on the general offer of the homeless: “Will Work for Food.”

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

What it takes for me to return

Much has happened in the world since I last posted on INFDL that might have inspired me to write. There was a terrible tragedy in the gulf coast, there were Democrats who rallied behind the idea that the President needed to nominate a "moderate" to replace O'Connor and not a crazy like Roberts might be, but then when Roberts' nomination was switched to replace Rehnquist, clearly a more conservative justice, the concern is no longer the balance of the court, but some other pretext for moral indignation. I shouldn't be surprised, but even Harry Reid has come out to oppose Roberts because Roberts "has not satisfied the high burden that would justify [Reid's] voting for his confirmation based on the current record." The moral of the story that seems to be lost on the Democrats is that elections have consequences and one of them is that the President gets to pick who he likes for the Supreme Court. But enough of that.

What has brought me back to the fold is the news that Ice T is going to produce David Hassellhof's new hip hop album. Ice T reports that "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour." The website that this comes from, ananova.com, definitely has some funny stuff on it, but I think that it is legitimate. You might have to go back to Rodman and Van Damme in Double Team (1997), though you could make an argument for Marky Mark and Lou Diamond Phillips in the Big Hit (1998), to find a more promising tag team. For just a taste of how great this could be, check out this site with pictures of The Hoff and then reminisce on the words of Cop Killer. In the words of the Koala Swimwear catalogue, this could be explosive.

BQC's Update: I have heard that this is a hoax, but hopefully this hoax is exactly what was needed to make this a reality.

The Face of Kelo

The Washington Times is running a piece by Susette Kelo, the woman who lost the recent Eminent Domain case in the Supreme Court. What the liberals on the Supreme Court have done to her is an atrocity. Here she is in her own words:

I grew up in southeastern Connecticut and bought my house at 8 East St. in New London in 1997. It was just what I wanted: great view of the water, affordable price, nice neighbors. I enjoyed fixing it up and making my family's home. I invested a lot of time and energy in this house and my neighborhood.

In 1998, a real estate agent came by and made me an offer on the house on behalf of an unnamed buyer. I explained to her I was not interested in selling, but she said my home would be taken by eminent domain if I refused to sell. She told me stories of her relatives who had lost their homes to eminent domain. Her advice? Give up. The government always wins.

Why did the City and the New London Development Corp. (NLDC) want to kick us out? To make way for up-scale condos and other private developments that could bring in more taxes to the city and possibly more jobs. The poor and middle class had to make way for the rich and politically connected.

If the government was taking our property for a road or firehouse, I would be prepared to sell without a fight. But the government should not be able to force me to sell my home so someone else can enjoy my view. NLDC wants my land to market to a developer for projects to "complement" our area's new Pfizer facility. This is for private profit, not public use.

Nearly all my neighbors' homes have been bulldozed -- all but those seven families who stayed and fought not only for our rights, but for the rights of homeowners nationwide.

Like my neighbors up the street, I worked hard (in my case, at up to three jobs at a time) to pay for my home. And we should not be forced out by our own government simply because someone else who carries more political clout wants the land for a nonpublic use. Isn't that what the courts, Congress and the Constitution are supposed to protect us from?

It's hard to imagine anything more un-American than taking a person’s home in order to give it to someone wealthier. If the Developers really want Kelo's property they must offer her what SHE thinks it's worth, not what they are willing to pay. Wealthy individuals and corporations shouldn't be allowed to coerce the government into taking a person’s property. This use of Eminent Domain is not permitted by the Consitution and the Supreme Court should have opposed it.

This is America after all!

Sean Adds: Amen, brother. I believe that the combination of Kelo and Raiche will brand this particular band of liberal clowns a disaster of historic purportions.

Monday, September 19, 2005

And Now for Something Completely Different

I know that caring about the Emmys is beneath the dignity of even the most booger encrusted five year old. Nevertheless, the results of last night’s awards show have pissed me off. Why? Because Everybody Loves Raymond won for best comedy and Arrested Development did not. This is important because Arrested Development is on the bubble; its ratings are bad and Fox only holds onto it because critics like it and it wins awards (it won for best writing last night). It needs to win in order to survive. Also, it deserved to win because, unlike Everybody Loves Raymond, it’s funny.

The worst part was seeing that Doris Roberts beat Jessica Walters for best supporting actress in a comedy. Now, if there were an award for the most annoying supporting actress, Doris Roberts would win that hands down, but there is no such award. Jessica Walters’ portrayal of Lucille, the sarcastic, selfish and alcoholic matron of the Bluth Family, is hysterically funny. She's the funniest female character on television since Seinfeld's Elaine. (I loved the episode where she drives by Lindsay, her daughter, as Lindsay cage-dances for a bunch of rednecks. Lucille does not recognize her daughter and mutters under her breath “now there’s someone who could have used a good mother” before leaning out the window to shout “WHORE!”)

Best supporting actor in a comedy series went to Brad Garret of Everybody Loves Raymond instead of Jeremy Piven from Entourage. Now, I haven’t seen the second season of Entourage, but if Piven’s character, Ari, was only one billionth as good in the second season as he was in the first, he still blew the annoying Brad Garret out of the water. Arrested Development, of course, had an entire cast of people better than Garret. Jeffery Tambor was nominated, but I think that Will Arnet (who plays Gob on AD) is the funniest supporting actor on television (after Piven).

The Emmys, in short, were an atrocity.

Anyway, Arrested Development is on tonight and you must watch it!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Cindy Sheehan Imitates INFDL

A few days ago I suggested that because the City of New Orleans had come to resemble Fallujah, the U.S. should pull out. I was kidding. Now Cindy Sheehan has said the same thing. She was not kidding:

George Bush needs to stop talking, admit the mistakes of his all around failed administration, pull our troops out of occupied New Orleans and Iraq, and excuse his self from power.

“Occupied New Orleans” Wow. The woman is clearly out of her mind. After this, the latest in a long list of moronic remarks, I think there won’t be a person left in this country who can’t see straight through the grieving mother fa├žade to Sheehan’s core of Anti-American hate. Read her whole ranting post on (what else?) Michael Moore’s web site. It would be hilarious satire if she weren’t serious.

Hell’s Bell

I’ll have a Nacho Supreme, a Chicken Soft Taco and a big glass of bacteria flavored Mountain Dew . . .

Remember the good old days when Taco Bell employees didn’t have to wear biohazard suits?

Update: They didn't "have to" wear biohazard suits, but it would still probably have been a good idea.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Red Crescent Gets the Kibosh

Apparently Paul Murdoch, architect of the Flight 93 memorial, is going to have his “Prophet’s Backyard” privileges revoked. He has bowed to pressure (largely generated by the blogosphere) and says he will rethink his obscenely Islamophilic memorial design.

I have a suggestion. Instead of a red crescent, the monument should consist of a colossal statue depicting Todd Beamer as he jams a ball point pen into the eyeball of a turban wearing man of Middle Eastern origin. Captured terrorists would be brought to the statue and hung from the pen.

Mr. Murdoch, this idea is now yours, gratis.

Snnnnnnnif

Look at the picture. What do you think Condi’s fingers smell like? When I spot my four year old doing this it generally means he has had some kind of wiping-related mishap.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Ken Livingston: Jackass

The Mayor of London, Ken Livingston, has found a new buddy named Yusuf al-Qaradawi. The Daily Telegraph quotes Ken:

"Of all the Muslim leaders in the world today, Sheikh Qaradawi is the most powerfully progressive force for change and for engaging Islam with western values," Mr Livingstone told the Commons home affairs select committee.

The Sheik hates Jews and supports suicide bombing. So let me get this straight, progressives are anti-Semitic supporters of suicide bombings? Progressives have come a long way since the days of the Bull Moose Party. But that’s progress for you.

Ken stands up for the Sheik:

Mr Livingstone said that many of the comments attributed to the imam were "from translated sources hostile to him." He was also not responsible for everything on the website that operates under his name.

I’m glad we have Mr. Livingston around, with his vast knowledge of the Arab tongue, so he can set us straight about what The Sheik has really said.

The mayor conceded that he did not condemn "and may be prepared to endorse" suicide bombings in Israel because the Palestinians "only have their bodies" as weapons. His views were shared by a majority of Muslims, said Mr Livingstone.

If the Palestinians were using only their bodies as weapons, Israel would be safe. Can you imagine a Palestinian man loading himself onto a makeshift trebuchet and launching himself onto an Israeli bus? It would be a comical spectacle enjoyed by all who witnessed it, and the Islamist would go on to receive his bevy of nubile virgins in heaven. But, sadly, the Palestinians use actual bombs, and they generally use them against civilian targets. Livingston is apparently OK with this.

He also said it was easy for those in the West to condemn all violence but "I don't know what I would be doing if I was in Uzbekistan, dealing with that government."

Ahh, but we in the West do not condemn “all violence.” I consider myself a staunch Westerner and I find myself supporting violence very frequently. For example, I am in favor of violence against terrorists, such as those supported by the Sheik.

Asked about al-Qaradawi's views on homosexuality - he is said to consider it an "abominable practice" and questioned whether gays should be put to death - Mr Livingstone said that much of his website was "a series of questions of a philosophical nature".

What do you think Livingston’s opinion of a Christian would be if that Christian wondered aloud if gays should be put to death? "Oh, just the philisophical musings of Jerry Falwell . . ."

One of the most baffling aspects of the war on terror is the eagerness of the left to sell out to people who should be its worst enemies. Livingston is shilling for a violence-advocating, racist, homophobic, religious zealot. Why? It’s up to conservatives to fight people who, according to the left, hold the same views conservatives do.

Tom DeLay: Jackass

Remember a few months ago when the Democrats were out for Tom DeLay’s blood? What happened to that? My guess is that the Dems saw that if they pressed DeLay’s dubious dealings the GOP would turn around and probe them like a redneck on a UFO. So everybody in Congress sort of walked away whistling.

Anyway, I only bring this up because I almost wish the Democrats had won. Read this from today’s Washington Times:

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said yesterday that Republicans have done so well in cutting spending that he declared an "ongoing victory," and said there is simply no fat left to cut in the federal budget.

NO FAT LEFT TO CUT! Is he a moron or does he think I am? Probably both.

Mr. DeLay was defending Republicans' choice to borrow money and add to this year's expected $331 billion deficit to pay for Hurricane Katrina relief. Some Republicans have said Congress should make cuts in other areas, but Mr. DeLay said that doesn't seem possible.

Not possible? Point to any page in the budget, get out your scissors, and cut. That’s all there is to it.

"My answer to those that want to offset the spending is sure, bring me the offsets, I'll be glad to do it. But nobody has been able to come up with any yet," the Texas Republican told reporters at his weekly briefing.

So, the fact that his fellow Congressman can’t find anything to offset against Katrina relief means that there is nothing to be cut? Since when can a congressman, of any party, find something that isn’t worth spending MY money on?

Asked if that meant the government was running at peak efficiency, Mr. DeLay said, "Yes, after 11 years of Republican majority we've pared it down pretty good."

Unless “pared it down” means “stuffed its ass with sausage” DeLay should be beaten with a phonebook. As Rudy Canoza would say, “he liiies!” The government has ballooned under the Republicans. Even worse, they brag about it. Remember the last Republican convention?

Mr. DeLay said the budget this year was pared down and 100 programs or offices were eliminated in this year's spending bills. "We have been doing that for 11 years," he said. He said it's an "ongoing process" that will be more complete after this year's budget process, which calls for cuts to Medicaid and other entitlement programs.

The budget is like the hydra, for every program you cut, two more are created. We need a Hercules to destroy the beast, and as far as I can see there is none in either party.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Life Imitates Phil

A few years ago Phil Hendrie had a guest on his show named Dean Wheeler. Dean was trying to raise money for a 9/11 memorial. The problem was that the memorial was not for the victims, but for the terrorists. Dean said that the monument would include statutes of the hijackers looking off into the distance with a caption underneath that said “We Did Our Best.” As the show evolved Dean revealed that he was raising money for this project because a Muslim woman had promised to reward him with an Islamic sex act called “the Prophet’s Backyard.”

Anyway, I bring this up because apparently someone has offered the Prophet’s Backyard to a man named Paul Murdoch. He’s the designer of the Flight 93 memorial and you can find a picture of his design on Michelle Malkin’s excellent blog. It will piss you off.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Vampire Did It!

Jim Geraghty of NRO places the blame for the Katrina debacle exactly where it belongs: on the shoulders of Anne Rice. Read this excellent column!

The Nail on the Head

I just had to link to this. Iowahawk is in top form with today’s parody of hurricane news. My favorite bit was this “news niblet”:

N.O. MAYOR SLAMS FEDS FOR LACK OF INCOMPETENCE PLANNING

In a televised interview with CNN's Larry King, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin today angrily criticized government response to the Katrina disaster, noting that state and federal officials had "failed to anticipate and factor in my obvious corruption and incompetence."

"What kind of bubble do these idiots live in?" said Nagin. "For crissakes, this is New Orleans, and me, we're talking about."

Read the whole thing. It’s funny stuff.

Crass, Crasser, Crassus

Chapter 3 of On the Bum has been posted here. In this chapter a monster tries to gnaw its way out of Andy’s belly as he is given a lesson on the bargaining principles of Marcus Licinius Crassus.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

New Fallujah

Our troops are being fired upon, the citizens are enraged, lawlessness abounds and chaos reigns. Is it time for the United States to pull out of New Orleans?

I’ve always thought of Peggy Noonan as a kind-hearted lady who really loves Ronald Reagan. Here’s what she has to say about New Orleans:

As for the tragic piggism that is taking place on the streets of New Orleans, it is not unbelievable but it is unforgivable, and I hope the looters are shot. A hurricane cannot rob a great city of its spirit, but a vicious citizenry can. A bad time with Mother Nature can leave you digging out for a long time, but a bad turn in human behavior frays and tears all the ties that truly bind human being--trust, confidence, mutual regard, belief in the essential goodness of one's fellow citizens.

Amen to that. Americans have responded with remarkable humanity to recent disasters. But a shocking number of the citizens of New Orleans are behaving like animals. And not nice animals like puppies and kittens, but really creepy animals like the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider. They’ve been looting, raping and killing. They’ve even fired on rescue workers and, according to a bulletin on CNN.com, one jackass even took it upon himself to pour sniper fire into a hospital as it tried to evacuate its sickest patients.

The hurricane was bad and the levy break was worse, but the most horrifying news to come out of this disaster is the bestial way so many people are reacting to it.

Update: Just when you think Cindy Sheehan can’t get any more ridiculous she says this: "George (Bush) is finished playing golf and telling his fables in San Diego, so he will be heading to Louisiana to see the devastation that his environmental policies and his killing policies have caused."

(via Best of the Web)