Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Will PETA Join the Coalition of the Willing?

The L.A. Times (linked on Drudge) is reporting that Iraq’s fascist death squads (I’m done saying “insurgents”) are putting bombs on poor little waggy-tail doggies and sending them towards coalition troops:

On a barren stretch of road in northern Iraq, a dog rigged with explosives approaches a group of Iraqi police officers. Detonated by remote control, the bomb tears the dog apart but doesn't harm the cops.

PETA needs to stop protesting Kentucky Fried Chicken (my policy whenever I read a story about PETA protesting a KFC is to eat lunch at KFC. I think KFC is disgusting and I always feel sick when I’m done, so I wish they’d turn their attentions to Del Taco). They should get their asses over to IRAQ. Maybe they can serve as human-shields to block the doggies from the paramilitaries.

Here’s the doggie-loving Muslim clerical reaction to the use of doggie suicide bombers:

Despite a common prejudice in the Muslim world against dogs, which are considered unclean, even the most virulent clerical opponents of the U.S. presence in Iraq have decried the use of canines as proxies in the war.

Abdel Salam Kubaisi, a spokesman for the Muslim Scholars Assn., a hard-line Sunni Arab clerical organization sympathetic to insurgents, called the practice un-Islamic. "Our religion does not permit us to hurt animals," he said, "neither by using them as explosive devices nor in any other manner."

By all means slaughter Iraqi children and the soldiers giving them candy, but don’t hurt a little doggie! That’s just not right!

You’d think they’d be all for doggie-suicide bombers. After all, the doggie will become a martyr and will get 70 virgin bitches in heaven.

Those fighting the terrorists are not surprised by their doggie-abusing tactics:

"Dogs have been used in many areas by insurgents throughout Iraq" to carry explosive devices, said Noori Noori, inspector-general at the Interior Ministry. "They used mentally retarded people for operations during the elections, so why wouldn't they use animals?"

They used mentally retarded people! Maybe they should get Hugo Chavez from Venezuela and load him up with a bomb-vest!

The following headline was also linked on Drudge: “Waves of Jellyfish Invade Spanish Beaches”

The trouble is that the Spanish can’t figure out which of the jellyfish is the leader so they can surrender to it.

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