Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Concert review: high-speed running amok and anti-penis-envy

Question: What does one do when attending a concert featuring a Led Zeppelin tribute band where "Robert Plant" looks like Michael Bolton and and "Jimmy Page" looks like Paul Stanley? And a "John Paul Jones" that insists on playing on a keyboard more than his bass? Answer: you squint your eyes a little and just hope they play "hot dog". To fill you all in, I went down to the Orlando House of Blues on Saturday with some peeps to catch the Zep tribute band along with a GnR tribute band for some nostalgia. A double header like that for the low, low price of 17 chonies is a no-brainer for me. At least I'd get to hear the music played live if nothing else. Besides, cheesy, stuggling and simply-for-the-love tribute bands have a warm place in my heart, bless their souls. Well, apart from the Bolton-Stanley-keyboard-guy triad, the Bolton-esque "Robert Plant" also had some really short legs, as opposed to the more long-legged real Robert Plant. I only bring this up because it was, in fact, very funny to see this "Robert Plant" try to mimic the real Robert Plant's on-stage moves (you know, the package-and-dong shaking in tight jeans) with his little short stubby ones (also adorned in tight jeans). There you go, ladies. That was all for you! The Guns tribute band was very, very authentic. "Axl Rose" could have been the real Axl's twin, in all seriousness. The only problem here is that to be a good "Axl Rose" you'd need to perform with the same energy as if playing in front of 30-50,000 (you know, with all of Axl's running around and stuff). This "Axl Rose" attempted to mimic this by leaving the stage for a short while only so that he could come running back out (at absolutely full speed) onto the stage. He must have done that 50 times. They played the song "Civil War", which made me happy since that song was practically the only song that wasn't played when I saw the real Guns in '93, where they did one of their famous marathon 3-hour shows. Geez, what a time. Too bad GnR will never play again. But I think that the story and the times of Guns n Roses is one of those extraordinary "shooting star" moments in history that makes legends. And GnR hit so fast and so hard that they never had much of a chance of lasting more than a few years. In some ways I wish that Metallica could have followed their example. I still enjoy seeing them live, but they ain't the same. Btw, way to go, Noay, for all the posting. Keep it up (that's not a double entendre).

PS Next up, I'm gonna catch a tribute band of the Doors, with Creed's Scott Stapp as "Jim Morrison". Wtf? Whoever told that guy that he's some Jim Morrison figure is an asshole! The Morrison-Stapp comparison has got to be the worst comparison ever made! I challenge all INFDL junkies out there (I know you're out there, you're just hiding!) to come up with a worse comparison than that.

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