Thursday, June 09, 2005

What has Robert Charles Been Smoking?

Generally I’m not a guy who cares very much about the medical marijuana issue. I think that pot should be legal for medical uses, and even for recreational use. But I’ve never smoked pot and I don’t intend to ever do so (unless I get sick and marijuana will help me manage pain and increase appetite. In which case you’ll find me with a huge Bob Marley stogie stuffed in my pie hole).

Despite my history of apathy however, I’m steamed about the Supreme Court’s outrageously anti-federalist medicinal marijuana decision. And today a Washington Times op-ed by some character named Robert Charles pissed me off even further. There’s hardly a sentence in the entire piece that isn’t a distortion, half truth or an outright lie.

Take, for example, the following:

The so-called "medical marijuana movement," led by cleaned-up former hippies and underwritten by three or four wealthy anti-establishment millionaires, including George Soros, seems to have been intended to find a back door into the federal legislative, federal law enforcing, and federal regulatory process -- one that logically, sensibly and thankfully forbids the production, sale and distribution of narcotics.

First of all, dragging George Soros into the argument in order to discredit the proponents of medical marijuana is pathetic. Has Charles forgotten that his little article is appearing in The Washington Times, a publication owned by Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the founder of the Moonies? Talk about a pot with a glass house writing a note on a brick and throwing it at a kettle (“Dear Kettle: You’re black.”)

And what’s this “back door” to federal law that Charles is talking about? He considers the Constitution of the United States of America - the greatest political document ever written - to be nothing more than a “back door” to federal law and regulation? Excuse me while I vomit in the trash can next to my desk . . .

The janitor is going wonder what the hell happened when he empties it later (he’ll also wonder how I can be alive while subsisting entirely on Mike & Ikes and Diet Pepsi.)

But it gets worse:

To the clever few, a possibility of tricking the vast majority of Americans into supporting a colossal change in society's approach to a substance that measurably lowers human immunities, thus leading to early death for those with AIDS; (Shouldn’t AIDS patients decide for themselves if the benefits of Marijuana outweigh the risks in their specific situation?) creates direct and polydrug addition; (If you’re dying of cancer a possible marijuana addiction is the least of your problems. And the “polydrug addiction” argument is pure horseshit) accounts for the greatest number of young people in drug treatment today; (medical pot laws wouldn’t provide teens with drugs, unless they were sick) contributes to tens of thousands of emergency room incidents annually; (The people benefiting from medical marijuana laws are always in the hospital anyway so what’s the problem?) and alters personalities and brain function (for the better in the case of Ms. Raich, the Defendant in the recent case) -- seemed just too good to be true (It was too good to be true, thanks to Congress and the Supreme Court).

Charles goes on and on in this vein before ending with this:

As a people, we have long respected those we elect to craft federal criminal laws, and we rightly revere those who defend us by enforcing them. Unsurprisingly, the U.S. Supreme Court takes a similar view. Neither our reverence for the rule of law and medical science, nor the Supreme Court's, is likely to change. You cannot fool all the people all the time.

Accordingly, the "medical pot" hoax is over.

As a people, we have respected the Founding Fathers, who crafted the Constitution, a hell of a lot more than we have revered the well-meaning jackasses who have crafted our federal drug policy.

And Charles is deluding himself if he thinks the so-called “’medical pot’ hoax” is over. Someday Congress will overturn its prohibition on medical marijuana. When that happens the federal government will impose its pro-pot view on the entire country and the states will not be able to decide for themselves whether or not they will ban the medicinal use of marijuana. On that day the decision in Gonzales v. Raich will become a trap for short-sighted buffoons like Robert Charles, and a psychedelic haze will enshroud America from coast to coast.

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