Wednesday, June 01, 2005

30 years for Nuttin'!!

Among the most UNinteresting news to come out this week has got to be the "Deep Throat Revealed" story. Mark Felt? Talk about an anticlimax! All this time we were wondering which White House insider/Nixon-loyalist it could have been to secretly come forward out of "consciencious" or "constitutional" duty, or whatever it was we thought, and hand Nixon over on a platter. What drama right? Wrong. Turns out to be just some disgruntled FBI man. And is it just me, or does anybody else think that the whole Watergate thing was overrated? I mean, it's generally acknowledged that Nixon didn't have pre-knowledge of the break-in, but was only involved in the coverup out of loyalty to his subordinates (i.e. his dawgs). It's been said by many that he gave staunch loyalty but expected the same in return, so I guess they were right about that one. There's no longer any mystery to me as to why the republicans went after Clinton's mistruths about his blowjobs so rabidly; they wanted a taste of sweet revenge. One interesting thing I saw on the news yesterday was the press interviewing the family of Deep Throat (his daughter and grandsons). They were grinning like they'd just won the lottery; strange. One of the grandsons, who happened to have a slight beatnik look about him, when asked how it felt to be the grandson of Deep Throat, offered that he was "very proud". Somebody knows he's getting laid at a sit-in this weekend! Or at the very least getting some digits at the Starbucks.

But for me, the best news this week by far is the slide of the Euro. I might even consider taking me self a vacation to the land of the EuroWeenies (this does not reflect on Britain, Poland, Italy or any other of our chummy coalition of the willing allied countries) if this slide keeps up. When I was there in the summer of '00, the dollar was at 88 cents to the euro (a reflection of regional currencies). So not only was I the "that's Mister Ugly American to you, monsieur," but rather, RICH Mr. Ugly American (a much more empowering feeling, it was truly a "Kid Rock" moment in time for me). I will feel this again only when Mr. Franklin's true nature comes out of hibernation and shows that baby-blue/pink/red/purple tinted Neville Chamberlain euro-note who's got the say, and who's just gay.

Update: This one could also work in that last sentence about C-notes vs. soon-to-be-wimpy Euro-notes: who's the GUY, and whose just the guy (pronounced "gee", wimpy name for French male). Any other submissions will be gladly received. The winner for best submission will win those spark plug feeler gauges from long ago that are still sitting in Sean's kitchen next to the fruit bowl.

Noah Adds: You hit the nail on the head TomAy. After all the years of mystery surrounding Deep Throat the final revelation of his true identity is a boring letdown.

The most interesting article on Mark Felt was written by Ben Stein for the American Spectator. In it, Stein blames Felt for . . . the Cambodian genocide. Now, before we knew and loved Stein for his comic turn on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (“Bueller . . . Bueller . . . Bueller . . .”) he was a Nixon speechwriter. And in his writing for the Spectator over the years he’s shown himself to be a staunch Nixon loyalist, but still . . . the Cambodian genocide?

I realize that The American Spectator is the spearhead of the vast right wing conspiracy, but you’d think that someone over there would have pulled Stein aside and said, in soft tones, “Ben, we know you mean well . . . but this piece you’ve written is squarely centered in crackpot territory.”

Sean Adds: I too was let down by the revelation of Mark Felt as the man. All this time and it turns out that Deep Throat was nothing but a chagrinned aparatchik who was passed over by Nixon in the race to replace J. Edgar Hoover, and pissed off because of it. It would be like Richard Clark being the one to break some nifty tidbit on the Cowboy.

TommAy, I agree that Watergate has become of inflated importance. But just think of it, without Watergate, we wouldn't have all those great audio clips of Nixon gettin' sloshed and wandering around the White House talking to paintings of former presidents. By the way, does anybody know if what I just said is true or a fleeting leftist dream?

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