Thursday, May 19, 2005

Spontaneous Human Explosion: Is it Caused by a Fungus?

In my last post I discussed the connection between Islam and spontaneous human explosion. In an update I mentioned the possibility that there may be a link between the phenomenon of exploding Muslims and that of exploding toads in Germany. There are too many similarities between the two problems for my theory of a link to be ignored. As evidence I here provide an excerpt from a BBC story about the toad problem. I have removed all references to Germany and toads and inserted references to the Middle East and Muslims. You’ll notice that the story still makes perfect sense and reads like a war dispatch from Baghdad.

Muslims in an area of Middle East are being killed off by a mysterious
disease - they are exploding.

Thousands of the Muslims have died in recent days in Iraq’s Baghdad
district, with their bodies swelling to bursting point.

The Muslims' entrails are propelled for up to a metre (3.2ft), in scenes that have been likened to science fiction.

Scientists are baffled. Possible explanations include an unknown virus or a fungus.

"You see the animals crawling on the ground, swelling and then
exploding," conservationist Werner Smolnik told AFP news agency.

It's creepy, and I think it should be brought to the attention of the World Health Organization.

Tom adds: I can't believe it's taken this long for someone to bring up the relationship of "spontaneous human explosion" with the originators of the like phenomenon "spontaneous human combustion", Spinal Tap's drummers. Though I would be more comfortable to attribute the Spinal Tap drummers' odd meetings with fate more to their ferocity of banging on the 'skins (an obvious imperative when drumming for "England's loudest band"), than merely to randomness. But it could very well be due to the same fungus responsible for the fate that befell the frogs (or muslims), because if you recall your Spinal Tap history, Peter "James" Bond, an early Tap drummer, left behind a "little green globby one" on his drum seat (and a scarred set of drumsticks) after spontaneously combusting.

Sean blabbers: Tom, not to be a stickler for detail, but I believe that David St. Hubbins was referring to a "little green globbule" and not a "little green globby one". And didn't Joe "Mama" Besser explode like a little German frog at the end of the movie in Japan?

Tom responds: Yes, if it was in fact David St. Hubbins who made the statement, then indeed it could have been described correctly as a "globule". After all, David St. Hubbins does come from rich heritage, as his name suggests, and his correctly using a technical term should not be so suprising (his namesake, Saint Hubbins, is the patron saint of quality footwear). But sorry, I have always thought of Nigel Tufnel saying it-- so, naturally, in my fuzzy memory, "little green globby one" has always seemed more authentic in that context.

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