Sunday, May 15, 2005

"F" NewsweAk!

Anybody see the latest about the possible Newsweek fuckup that's caused a bunch of deaths due to rioting. I think this is a big story because of a) the obvious, and b) because Newsweek wasted no time at all in issuing a correction most likely due to the fact that people have died as a result their "reporting", and they felt that they would preserve some face (or even create a new positive, responsible image) coming out with it themselves rather than being outed by the blogs (i.e. another victory for the blogs), I believe.
But of course this "recant" comes in the "cover your ass" format that many in the MSM have been perfecting lately, to an extent that would make the Clinton spokepeople (of past and present) proud. Read this bullshit for yourself:

Whitaker (Newsweek editor) told Reuters that Newsweek did not know if the reported toilet incident involving the Koran ever occurred. "As to whether anything like this happened, we just don't know," he said in an interview. "We're not saying it absolutely happened but we can't say that it absolutely didn't happen either."
What? Wait, backadafuckup that last sentence. It sure went to print sounding like they said it had happened. How greasy is that? One thing that dissapoints me about this is that it was Michael Isikoff who originally reported it, someone that I have held in some esteem. God bless the blogs, for what they do (both directly and indirectly) has been what this world has needed throughout the history of mankind. Seriously. There are no less than 5 major developments/scandals/shakeups out there that the blogs have initiated and/or brought to light.

Sean Adds: I think that this has to rate pretty high up on the scale of the most reckless media moments of today. You are right to point out that most of this stuff would be shoved down our pie holes and accepted as conventional wisdom if not for the blogosphere. Roger Simon and Austin Bay have been ripping this shit up pretty good as well.

Noah Adds: I suspected the whole thing was bogus from the beginning. How many times have you taken a dump that has just helicoptered around the bowl before becoming hopelessly lodged in the pipes (I would imagine it’s about 80% of the time for Brig)? One time, after I got home from a camping trip (I hadn’t done #2 for four days) I took a dump that just wouldn’t go down and I had to go outside, get a stick and poke it into smaller pieces. The point of this story being: you want me to believe that some dude flushed a copy of the Koran down the toilet? If my soft brown toilet trout won’t go down then there’s no way the Koran ever would.

I suggest we do a group INFDL experiment: go out and buy a copy of the Koran (Bantam has an edition for about five bucks) then take it to a toilet (I suggest you use a public restroom so you don’t damage your own pluming) drop the sucker in and flush. I can say with confidence that IT WILL NOT GO DOWN. This may be because Allah prevents it, but another possibility is that copies of the Koran (even the cheap-ass Bantam edition) are too big and too hard to fit down the pipes.

Apparently the folks at Newsweek only take dainty little rabbit craps and they don’t know this.

Sean Adds again: Noah, don't you know that it is not propper morning bantor to refer to ones' "soft brown toilet trout" or Newsweeks' "dainty little rabbit craps" without due warning? I now have second degree burns on my eyelids from the spit take that ensued. Now watch Newsweek backpedal like a pant-treat in a southern hemisphere toilet. Perhaps they only wiped with the holy Koran. It would still be just as damaging to the infidels, what with the words of the prophets blurred by pouty American skidmarks.

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