Wednesday, April 20, 2005

"Now butter your bacon!"

I was kidding yesterday when I said that I was going to ratchet up my sausage consumption. But then I read this story and discovered two things: 1) obesity doesn’t kill nearly as many people as we had formerly been told by the government and the media, and 2) “People who are modestly overweight but not obese have a lower risk of death than people of normal weight.”

Now aside from the fact that the foregoing sentence is patently untrue (everyone has the same risk of death: 100%) I still find that this is exciting news. What the writer was trying to say, I think, was that the slightly portly man lives longer than the thin guy. The health researchers have been even more wrong than I thought. At 5’9” and 170 pounds I figure I can pack on at least another twenty pounds worth of pork-product related girth.

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