Thursday, March 31, 2005

SHOCK! Prince Charles Hates the Paparazzi

Prince Charles has been hit with a minor scandal. On a ski trip to Switzerland he was heard referring to the press as “bloody people” and, apparently referring to one specifically, said “I can't bear that man. I mean, he's so awful, he really is.”

Like so many stories that are told in the media, I don’t know why anyone cares about this. Is it a surprise that he hates the paparazzi? What did they ever do for him (except kill his ex-wife, to whom he was constantly compared unfavorably)? They plague him and his children night and day, following them around, digging up embarrassing secrets.

The worst thing they ever did to him was publish this transcript of a conversation he had with his mistress, Camilla Parker Bowles. If you’ve forgotten about this famous bit of dialog you have to check it out. It’s hilarious. Here’s my favorite bit (and I am NOT making this up):

Charles: What about me? The trouble is I need you several times a week.

Camilla: Mmmm, so do I. I need you all the week. All the time.

Charles: Oh. God. I'll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!

Camilla: (laughing) What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers?

(Both laugh)

Camilla: Oh, You're going to come back as a pair of knickers.

Charles: Or, God forbid a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)

Camilla: You are a complete idiot (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea.

Charles: My luck to be chucked down the lavatory and go on and on forever swirling round on the top, never going down.

Camilla: (Laughing) Oh, Darling!

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