Tuesday, March 01, 2005

My Theory About Russia

The prevailing theory about the Cold War is that it was a struggle based on the warring ideologies of democratic capitalism and totalitarian communism. A less widely accepted interpretation of the conflict is that the Cold War was based more on the essential differences between the East and West that would have existed even without communism. In light of the way Russia has been acting the last few years, this second interpretation makes an increasing amount of sense.

I would now like to provide my own theory: the Russians are dicks (and no, Raymond Chandler fans, I do not mean private detectives).

Putin’s behavior of late provides ample evidence to support my theory. He has been crushing democratic institutions in his country piece by piece, he has destroyed the free press, he provided support to Saddam in the run up to the Iraq war, he backed the corrupt loser in the Ukraine, he has agreed to sell weapons to the Syrians, and now he has entered into a nuclear deal with Iran. And if that isn’t enough, today the AFP reports that the Ruskies are working on missiles that will get past the missile defense systems we are only now putting in place. Apparently they are going to make missiles that zig-zag (“serpentine Shell, serpentine!”).

Russia is a shit-hole shambles. It’s a poor country with a crumbling military and yet they have decided to pour who knows how many gazillions of rubles into slippery nuclear missiles.

And it ain’t just the leadership, poll after poll in Russia shows that a sizeable number of Russians are yearning for the days of Joseph Stalin and his murderous rule.

The way things are going it makes you wonder if we aren’t headed towards a Second Cold War sans communism, a war based not on political ideology, but a naked Russian lust for power.

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