Monday, February 14, 2005

North Korea and Fred Kaplan

Sean and Noey, thanks for reminding us all at INFDL of the North Korean place in the Bush Doctrine, and particularly just why missle defense is an actual necessity, and not merely something that Bush thinks is cool (though there's nothing wrong with that).
The public/political discourse on North Korea has produced some of the most phoney bullshit (required redundancy) and rhetoric ever, all for the sake of protecting Clinton's ass (and to spin "another Bush screw up" of course) . Personally I have a hard time blaming Clinton for most of his montrous foreign policy blunders, because who could have even imagined the world of shit we now live in before 9/11? Shitt, half of this country and most of Europe still doesn't believe in the world we now live in. So now we find ourselves in it much deeper now that there's new kids in town with the bomb, and nuclear politics as we knew it during the cold war is suddenly a different and more ominous game. So, quite naturally, in come the petty dickheads whose only interest is to point fingers and play I-told-you-so tag in their shittyass columns; introducing Fred Kaplan. This guy is a master of ignoring his past predictions of complete failure to only again spin the future to how his agenda sees fit. I suppose it's better than distorting the past. His latest in Slate about North Korea is a real beauty. A real laugh, actually. What he attempts to do in it is actually applaud the N. Korean policy of Clinton and spin it as something that was a major success! Here's a fun snipet:
In 1993-94, the North Koreans threatened to reprocess their nuclear reactor's spent fuel rods into plutonium—the fastest way to get nuclear weapons. After a tense standoff, Kim Jong-il and President Bill Clinton signed an "Agreed Framework." The rods were locked in a pool and placed under continuous monitoring by the International Atomic Energy Agency...By the end of the decade, the deal was collapsing...But those fuel rods, which could have processed enough plutonium for more than 50 bombs by the time Clinton left office, stayed locked up.
Man, that was a really cool idea, Kaplan. You're right, the Clinton deal to keep the plutonium rods "locked-up", in NORTH FUCKING KOREA, was sheer brilliance. That idea sounds so GAY that it had to be something Jimmy Carter whipped up. Oh wait a minute, he did! Do huge fuck ups ever get more painfully obvious? Kaplan goes on to suggest that we negotiate with North Korea, as if we're not, but to do it unilaterally. Would doing what Kaplan says exclude China from the talks, the only country that could smash North Korea for disrupting it's regional endeavors without including the nuclear destruction of Seoul? Yes it would. Is Kaplan a buttlick? Yes he is. Even worse. Here's Kaplan explaining just how Bush screwed up the "majorly successful" deal we had in place with North Korea thanks to Jimmy Carter's bold efforts:
Unfortunately, common sense was in short supply. After a few shrill diplomatic exchanges over the uranium, Pyongyang upped the ante. The North Koreans expelled the international inspectors, broke the locks on the fuel rods, loaded them onto a truck, and drove them to a nearby reprocessing facility, to be converted into bomb-grade plutonium. The White House stood by and did nothing.
Bush screwed it all up over a few shrill diplomatic exchanges? Really? Now there's a convenient premise for a bullshit conclusion. Is this the only thing he's got? So this must explain North Korea's ever unpredictability, right? A few shrill diplomatic exchanges, huh? Never mind what kind of power really plays in those parts of the world, lets just focus on feelings, right? That's what we have Jimmy Carter for, I suppose. Geez, when mere scribblers decide to start thinking actual foreign policy, do they really think that what they scribble on paper needs to be implemented? No, I don't think so. Give any one of these scribblers a job at DoD or the State Department where actual words throw around alot of weight and affect the lives of millions, and I'd bet my 3rd arm they'd choose playing I-told-you-so tag in their dipwad columns instead.

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