Tuesday, February 22, 2005

NBA All-Star Weekend highlights, Ambassador Vince, dunk contest thievery

The highlight of NBA All-Star weekend 2005 did not end up being what I had anticipated it would be: the long awaited pairing of Lebron and Iverson to see who-knows-what (the pitiful olympics didn't count). They had a couple cool plays together, but it didn't come anywhere near the level of general nastiness that I had expected. That award goes to Vince Carter, for the "dunk of the night". Though nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will ever get as dangerously, severely filthy sick and depraved as this, i.e. the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen done in the game of basketball (2000 Sydney Olympics). That Vince Carter, he just a nasty ol' dogg.

I think it would be fair to say that these new sour relations we have with France did not necessarily start with disagreements over Iraq, but rather can be traced back to that glorious, obscenely cruel and abusive, and poetically beautiful moment in not only Olympic history, but American history.

That 'dunk heard 'round the world' was as foreboding of things to come as any piece of legislation or policy passed by Congress ever was. I believe Vince will not only go down in history as a ruthless nasty baller, but also for having carried out his titular role of 'Shaper of American Foreign Relations' with distinction, as well as a receiver of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, for that singular action that one day in Sydney.

PS The dunk contest was a farce. The dude with easily the coolest dunk of the contest, or of perhaps the last 10 years, got screwed, and then robbed. I've been looking for it online but couldn't find it, like it's a hot news story that's been intentionally buried or something. It was JR Smith's first dunk (not Josh Smith--thief of the dunk contest trophy), so if anyone can find it, post it. I promise, it's INFDL worthy.

Sean Adds: You are correct sir, The Carter dunk was the most nasty, sleazy, funky thing ever done to the French. That alone is reason enough to drop a "NO" bomb on us in the Security Council. Amare Staudamire's reverse was nasty also (I think he and Jermaine Oneal are as close to Malone in his prime as anybody). Got to give props to Iverson. That man is gifted beyond what the Lord giveth to the rest of us.

One more thing: Lebron really is the real thing. He's already better than Koby. A prediction: if he stays healthy, he'll be the first since Oscar Robertson to do the 30 point and 10 assists average.

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