Friday, February 25, 2005

Leave My Potato Chips Alone!

Perhaps the most annoying wing of the modern left is the nanny-state wing. I know they mean well, but that’s no excuse for heaping all of our freedoms one by one on the pyre of safety (maybe “pyre” isn’t the best safety-related metaphor) and tossing a lighted match. People should be able to do dangerous things if they want to, and that includes eating at MacDonald’s.

Now the nannies want to take away our salt. An organization called the Center for Science in the Public Interests is suing the FDA to get them to declare salt a food additive in order to give the FDA power to “regulate salt in food, whether through warnings on packages and menus or mandatory or voluntary limits”

First of all, who made them the arbiters of “the public interest”? There is no “public interest” there are only private interests, and I don’t want them screwing around with my private interest to eat French fries dipped in the Dead Sea or to lick the ice melter off the bumper of my Toyota.

Everybody knows that too much salt isn’t good for them, and those who have been diagnosed with high blood pressure have been given ample warnings by their doctors. We don’t need fascist do-gooders literally depriving us of the savor of life.

And notice the way the nanny staters operate. They don’t petition congress and try to pass laws. They use the most undemocratic hammer in the lawmaking toolbox: the lawsuit. This is the same tactic that they use against cigarette companies and gun makers. They know they can’t pass legislation. They know that their school marmish hen pecking and nagging are not exactly popular with the general populace. They can only win in the undemocratic courts.

If the people at CSPI succeed in getting the FDA to limit salt I swear this oath: I will break into each and every one of their homes and loosen the lid on their salt shakers. My Doritos will not be tampered with!

Sean Humbly Adds: Yeah! Don't you dare touch my sodium or partially hydrogenated oils! So I'm going to die of ASS CANCER (a great name for a speed-metal band, by the way), we'll all die some day anyway! I might as well enjoy these synthetic chips before my colon starts spewing polyps all over the place. This post by Noah reminds me of the common refrain of many of my co-activists when I was making no money while giving my life to a certain local enviro non-profit. The scene usually went something like this: we would leave the office for a breath of "fresh air" (a smoke). While sitting there consuming our cancer stix, somebody would pipe up about the poor air quality in Salt Lake and how it was due to ignorant, flamboyant driving habits of Mormons (code word: swarthy Americans). Interesting, I thought, how these words were being pooped out of one side of their mouths while the other side grasped a personal smokestack. That, in a nutshell is the problem with the current fleet of activists. I can take self-righteousness, but not hypocrisy.

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