Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Rather was always Brokaw's handmaid....

I wonder how many times over the last two decades Tom Brokaw has back-handed his crazy Texan couterpart. I venture to say, not just once. What a contrast in personalities and what a contrast in exits. While Brokaw leaves his post with the respect of most Americans (even this rather conservative one), with a lifetime of achievement and challenge under his belt, Dan Rather leaves his post as the posterboy for bad journalism, if you can call it that. Never slipping into rank Euro-logic or the leftist clairvoyance of his compadre, Brokaw always had a dignity that Rather could never muster. I'm sure that they've brushed shoulders a few times. Perhaps in Nicaragua or Afghanistan. Or perhaps at some tavern that famous anchors steal away to for a little rhye. Wherever that may be, imagine what kind of banter they engaged in, after a little too much medicine, in say '88;
Rather: "So tell me Tommy, seriously. How'd you score that interview with Ollie North? That cat's as rothy as a Texas Tetse fly with a quarter taped to it's shoulder."
Brokaw: "Dan, cut down on the Habaneros. Your breath, man, Your breath."
Rather: "I mean, the best I could do was fucking Joan Quigly, which was cool on a cosmic level, what with me finding out about my past life as a sea cucumber and..."
Brokaw: "Listen Rather, I'm headed off to climb K fucking 2 tomorrow and I got better shit to..."
Rather: "So I figure that if I just corner the VP and start howling at him like a West Texas Chupacabre," KAPOW!! (Rather hits the ground)
Well, you get the idea. The point being that Rather lost all sense long ago, and I wouldn't doubt that it's because of repeated blunt trauma to the melon... On that note,"Courage!" (as he puts his hand into the air with a Black-Power fist).

No comments: